Do I have pure ocd or am i in denial. I have been getting intrusive thoughts, nightmares, severe loss in appetite, extreme anxiety, near non-existent libido, sex repulsion, identity crash where i literally dont know if im gay or trans anymore, very high suicidal ideation, I have been homebound for possibly more than a year, i cant look in the mirror without thinking how disgusting i am, and it literally feels like my life did a full 180 out of NOWHERE.

if u have pocd i wanna tell you that shit is absolutely debilitating and disabling. U literally feel fully disposable. It's sick.

It doesn't matter what you are, gay or trans etc, but don't make any immediate decisions about surgery etc, don't feel repulsed there are so many people like you. Whether you're gay or trans. Or both. It's okay what ever you are. I suggest dressing how you want to dress at the time, being with who you want to be with at the time, just let them know what's going on that you're unsure about your sexuality. You'll be okay in the end xx

well ive identified as gay and trans for a long time but now that my ocd came thru i literally feel no sexual attraction and no desire to look a certain way. all i feel like doing is shutting down.

It's okay to feel like that. It's okay to not know. I think we all look for answers with ocd and we end up not finding any. You have to be comfortable with the unknown

what if i already have the answer and im denying it. i hate this feeling. i feel like this is the end.

You may have the answer but it doesn't matter what the answer is. From an outsiders perspective, your ocd seems silly, no offense obviously. I'd so rather have yours over mine. I use to worry I was a lesbian, but it went away eventually. I use to feel disgusted etc, but I experimented and realised I'm not a lesbian but only recently, I sat with that thought for about 7 years. Some days I'd think my family would disown me etc. But I have worse OCD thoughts now, looking back the fear of being a lesbian was nothing.

Even if I was a lesbian now, I wouldn't even worry about it because I have worse intrusive thoughts now.

http://www.psychologyandbehavior.com/hocd-homosexual-ocd-sexual-orientation/