How can I believe that this is ROCD when there are some proof? Like… I know my ROCD could have exaggerated things.. I know when I am calm I love him and hug him. But this morning was bad.. I started crying when he told me he loved me… before he got of the car I hugged him super hard… I can’t shake this off… I wanna accept his flaws… when I don’t overthink I know I love him.. some parts of him I know I dislike and I told him what thoses things are…. I know relationships go thru rough patches.. I wanna fix it! It’s like my brain is trying to force me to run away.. My friend told me that my relationship is fine. It’s just both of our mental states are to blame for why our relationship is struggling…. I just want my relationship back.. if we break up.. I don’t know if I can handle another relationship again.. I can’t… I just don’t want to

Relationship OCD

tinydancer

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

I’ve been there friend! It really sucks and I’m sorry. Remember that your ocd latches on to what is important to you. Seeing as how it’s attacking your relationship means that you value it. Careful of confessing, it can lead to compulsion and hurting your partners feelings even though it brings us temporary relief. Sometimes this gets overwhelming but remember you aren’t your thoughts and you can control your actions even if the thoughts are pulling you down.

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

It’s more feelings.. I’m worried bc the symptoms aren’t as strong as before… 😢

tinydancer

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@7710 ❤️ It’s true, it may be real or it may be OCD. It’s hard to live with the uncertainty but that’s what these therapists keep saying to do! There’s a ROCD support group you should totally join (free). It’s very supportive, validating, and nonjudgmental. Just took a look at your profile and you said that if you obsess too hard it can feel like reality, that you want to love your partner, and that it gives you hope that y’all are together still. I hope you can talk about this with an NOCD therapist or in a group bc sometimes it’s all very heavy in our minds. It helps to get it out

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@tinydancer I’m worried bc it’s like I subconsciously don’t want him… but why would I fight if I didn’t or cry if I didn’t love him… I just don’t want to leave but I am so tired..

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@tinydancer I even bought him blueberry muffins bc I know he loves them. My friend believes I really do love my partner but she says sometimes I love him too much

tinydancer

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@7710 ❤️ Is it possible that you just want the panic breakup feeling to go away? I can’t speak for you but in my experience, I would feel the compulsion to break up with my bf when one of these rocd spikes hit. Because I wanted to have the doubt and guilt feelings go away. Even though I didn’t want to leave him, I felt like the only way to get rid of that horrible feeling was to break up. Back then I didn’t know it was rocd and I especially thought it was real, or a sign from God, or my “gut” telling me what needed to happen. OCD sucks but our brain is trying to protect us from the worse by preparing us for every situation which causes major anxiety.

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@tinydancer It’s like I want relief…

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

She said that because I’ve been going through this for so long I rewrote my brain Into thinking I don’t love him…

Tyyler

Date posted: 3y

ROCD is a tough one…I’ve ended a couple relationships and almost my current due to this subtype. I thought I just didn’t love that person but as soon as we broke up I just wanted them back. All what was going on was me transitioning out of the “honeymoon” phase. I had no idea that this was just my OCD. Trust me, you’ll really know when you don’t want to be with someone anymore. Our brains just get confused with “comfortable” and “not in love”.

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

How real did it feel? Did it seem like u knew even if you were fighting against the damage that has been done?

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

Please how real did it get for u? Did you ever just get tired and exhausted and just went with it bc you just can’t keep fighting??

Tyyler

Date posted: 3y

When I started to have doubts in my relationship, it became pretty obvious and I told my partner that I was having doubts and that I wasn’t sure if I loved them/wanted to be with them or not. She knew that I was just in my head. She could tell when I was contradicting myself. We worked on it together. The doubts started to happen when we passed that “honeymoon” phase and the relationship began to mature. When you get out of that phase of excitement, you start to question if there’s love. For me, there was love. It was always there. I just didn’t see it and or acknowledge it.

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

I get worried… I don’t know how to fix things… I know I love him. When I don’t overthink I am fine.. I am scared… I am depressed, anxiety ridden, exhausted… I just wanna be with him like before…

Tyyler

Date posted: 3y

Most of us here fall under the burden of overthinking..it’s a struggle..we latch onto these negative thoughts so much that we start to believe them. It’s extremely frustrating.

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