- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hello— Sounds like you are going through an incredible difficult time. ROCD is exhausting. It is very miserable and it causes you to question everything. For me with ROCD I personally do not tell my partner my specific thoughts. I say “I am having anxiety right now” and he has learned to not ask about the specifics because when I tell him it’s confessing/reassuring. This is something we have learned over many months though. Something I tell myself is I do not like to make decisions in this state of mind. Allow yourself to do the work. If anything being in this relationship is a perfect opportunity to do ERP because it is forcing you to confront your OCD.
- Date posted
- 3y
It doesn’t stop! I really believe I don’t love him! How can I get my love back! Can ROCD really do this!?
- Date posted
- 3y
It is a wild ride. ROCD literally can change everything you think and feel related to your theme. It is horrible and heartbreaking. But there is hope with treatment.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m constantly stuck feeling this way… I can’t remember the last time I felt love for him…. I don’t wanna break up! I had a dream I was arguing with my partner and I asked my friend what it meant. She said I have some unresolved issues with my partner or that I need to tell him how I truly feel. I know if I broke up with him I would cry my eyes out bc I don’t wanna break up!! I wanna fix issues that we have. My mental state is beyond bad! I am stuck in my own head 24 hours a day for 2 years! I had moments where I truly knew I loved him and was actually happy. But in the bad of my mind I still obsessed.
- Date posted
- 3y
@7710 ❤️ Awe it is so painful. I also think it can be hard talking to well intentioned friends/loved ones because if they do not know OCD they provide a bunch of reassurance/advice that is not helpful. Sounds like you really need to start doing ERP
- Date posted
- 3y
Also I have been in your shoes. When I first learned of this I was frantic and it was horrible. As you start to learn the tools you begin to heal and have better days. We are here with you in this.
- Date posted
- 3y
I need to.. I really do.. I want to get better… I just can’t do this anymore I can’t.. there was times I thought death would bring me freedom on a couple of occasions. This pain hurts… my head is all mixed up. I know I still love him but the feeling of not love him is so very strong. I just hear so many things and feel nothing but negativity… I don’t want to see him with someone else… I really don’t. Whenever I say I don’t wanna break up I always hear it’s bc I don’t wanna hurt him… 😢 Most of the time my nerves are shot that my hands shake uncontrollably. Yesterday I kept hugging him.
- Date posted
- 3y
Awe you are not alone. There is hope. I know it doesn’t feel like that now but there is always hope. We are all here for you. You are really in the thick of the anxiety and that is incredibly painful. I have been there. I have wanted to die because of how horrible I felt. But I promise you ERP can work. It’s not fun but it works.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 3y
It sounds like you are experiencing difficult symptoms! I hope you know there can be relief in doing Exposure Response Prevention! ai have many members who are dealing with similar thoughts and have made a lot of progress with ERP!
- Date posted
- 3y
Would you guys take Fedelis??
- Date posted
- 3y
Why do I feel healed?! That’s why I’m stuck believing I don’t love him… I’m stuck believing I’m convincing myself or forcing myself to love him…
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
- Date posted
- 20w
I don’t understand why I don’t feel happy, why my mind keeps making me think so negatively about him. Nothing makes me feel joy anymore. I keep thinking that he’s stupid, that I don’t like him, and when he speaks kindly to me, I feel nothing. The worst part is that I feel completely numb, like I have no emotions at all. And that makes me think that maybe I really don’t like him, that I will eventually reach a point where I realize my worst fear is true. I keep fighting with him because of my attitude. I treat him badly, and I know it’s because of my thoughts. I can’t see the good in anything. Today, he told me that I would be better off without him because I always seem so sad. He moved to my city for university just to be with me, and instead of making his life better, I feel like I’m making it worse. The thoughts don’t stop, even when I’m with him. I see people posting about how they feel calm when they’re with their partners, but I don’t. I can’t look at him without having intrusive thoughts, and I can’t even kiss him. Today, he told me that he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, that I treat him poorly. I am constantly afraid because I feel nothing when he says things to me, because I don’t feel like I care. When I look at pictures of us from when I was in a better place, I feel like I was a completely different person. I start thinking that I’ve “matured” and that’s why I don’t feel anything anymore—like maybe I only liked him because I was young and naïve. Everything he does and says irritates me, but he loves me. What if I’m only with him because I don’t want to hurt him? What if I’m just used to him? I feel scared all the time. I don’t understand what’s happening. He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place . He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place
- Date posted
- 8w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
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