How can you tell if you’re healed? Like is it when there is no more anxiety? Bc it’s like my fear of not loving him seems true bc of how much I ruminated on it. I have no feelings for him or anyone else right now. I am unhappy I am unhappy with myself. My partner sometimes does things that upset me but not all the time. My friends said our mental state is what’s holding us back. That they want both of us to be happy. I don’t know anymore. I just know I am very unhappy with myself and I am tired of fighting. I don’t wanna break up with my partner bc I know I just want freedom from ROCD. But how can I tell him I am stuck believing I don’t love him? I want relief from this endless cycle of misery. Do you think this app will take Fedelis insurance too? I really want help. I know when I’m happy I love my partner. My friend said your brain is a huge mess right now and you need to get better

Hello— Sounds like you are going through an incredible difficult time. ROCD is exhausting. It is very miserable and it causes you to question everything. For me with ROCD I personally do not tell my partner my specific thoughts. I say “I am having anxiety right now” and he has learned to not ask about the specifics because when I tell him it’s confessing/reassuring. This is something we have learned over many months though. Something I tell myself is I do not like to make decisions in this state of mind. Allow yourself to do the work. If anything being in this relationship is a perfect opportunity to do ERP because it is forcing you to confront your OCD.

It is a wild ride. ROCD literally can change everything you think and feel related to your theme. It is horrible and heartbreaking. But there is hope with treatment.

Also I have been in your shoes. When I first learned of this I was frantic and it was horrible. As you start to learn the tools you begin to heal and have better days. We are here with you in this.

I need to.. I really do.. I want to get better… I just can’t do this anymore I can’t.. there was times I thought death would bring me freedom on a couple of occasions. This pain hurts… my head is all mixed up. I know I still love him but the feeling of not love him is so very strong. I just hear so many things and feel nothing but negativity… I don’t want to see him with someone else… I really don’t. Whenever I say I don’t wanna break up I always hear it’s bc I don’t wanna hurt him… 😢 Most of the time my nerves are shot that my hands shake uncontrollably. Yesterday I kept hugging him.

It sounds like you are experiencing difficult symptoms! I hope you know there can be relief in doing Exposure Response Prevention! ai have many members who are dealing with similar thoughts and have made a lot of progress with ERP!