- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hello— Sounds like you are going through an incredible difficult time. ROCD is exhausting. It is very miserable and it causes you to question everything. For me with ROCD I personally do not tell my partner my specific thoughts. I say “I am having anxiety right now” and he has learned to not ask about the specifics because when I tell him it’s confessing/reassuring. This is something we have learned over many months though. Something I tell myself is I do not like to make decisions in this state of mind. Allow yourself to do the work. If anything being in this relationship is a perfect opportunity to do ERP because it is forcing you to confront your OCD.
- Date posted
- 3y
It doesn’t stop! I really believe I don’t love him! How can I get my love back! Can ROCD really do this!?
- Date posted
- 3y
It is a wild ride. ROCD literally can change everything you think and feel related to your theme. It is horrible and heartbreaking. But there is hope with treatment.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m constantly stuck feeling this way… I can’t remember the last time I felt love for him…. I don’t wanna break up! I had a dream I was arguing with my partner and I asked my friend what it meant. She said I have some unresolved issues with my partner or that I need to tell him how I truly feel. I know if I broke up with him I would cry my eyes out bc I don’t wanna break up!! I wanna fix issues that we have. My mental state is beyond bad! I am stuck in my own head 24 hours a day for 2 years! I had moments where I truly knew I loved him and was actually happy. But in the bad of my mind I still obsessed.
- Date posted
- 3y
@7710 ❤️ Awe it is so painful. I also think it can be hard talking to well intentioned friends/loved ones because if they do not know OCD they provide a bunch of reassurance/advice that is not helpful. Sounds like you really need to start doing ERP
- Date posted
- 3y
Also I have been in your shoes. When I first learned of this I was frantic and it was horrible. As you start to learn the tools you begin to heal and have better days. We are here with you in this.
- Date posted
- 3y
I need to.. I really do.. I want to get better… I just can’t do this anymore I can’t.. there was times I thought death would bring me freedom on a couple of occasions. This pain hurts… my head is all mixed up. I know I still love him but the feeling of not love him is so very strong. I just hear so many things and feel nothing but negativity… I don’t want to see him with someone else… I really don’t. Whenever I say I don’t wanna break up I always hear it’s bc I don’t wanna hurt him… 😢 Most of the time my nerves are shot that my hands shake uncontrollably. Yesterday I kept hugging him.
- Date posted
- 3y
Awe you are not alone. There is hope. I know it doesn’t feel like that now but there is always hope. We are all here for you. You are really in the thick of the anxiety and that is incredibly painful. I have been there. I have wanted to die because of how horrible I felt. But I promise you ERP can work. It’s not fun but it works.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 3y
It sounds like you are experiencing difficult symptoms! I hope you know there can be relief in doing Exposure Response Prevention! ai have many members who are dealing with similar thoughts and have made a lot of progress with ERP!
- Date posted
- 3y
Would you guys take Fedelis??
- Date posted
- 3y
Why do I feel healed?! That’s why I’m stuck believing I don’t love him… I’m stuck believing I’m convincing myself or forcing myself to love him…
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
- Date posted
- 15w
Hi everyone. I’m really struggling and I need to let it all out. I’ve been dealing with ROCD (or what I think is ROCD) for a long time, and I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I’m in a loving relationship with a boyfriend who is kind, understanding, and patient. But ever since I started reading a lot online, googling symptoms, talking to AI like ChatGPT, searching for reassurance, things have gotten worse and worse. And now… I feel completely disconnected from my feelings. I don’t know what’s real anymore. My boyfriend told me that he believes I’ve convinced myself that I have something that needs to be treated, and that all this constant researching is making me feel worse. And honestly, I think he’s right. Before I fell into this cycle, I could be more intimate with him. I used to say “I love you,” I used to feel warmth. Now I don’t say it anymore. I haven’t in a long time. And it hurts him. And I know I’m hurting him, and that makes it even worse. He also said that maybe I’m having these obsessive thoughts because I don’t have a daily purpose, that I need to get occupied, to stop being consumed by this. And others in my life have told me the same. He even suggested taking a break from each other for a week, just to give me space. But I’m terrified of that. I’m scared that the thing I fear most will become “the truth.” I’m scared I’ll feel relief, and that will mean everything I fear is real. But he told me that if I don’t want the break, maybe it means I still care. Still love. Still want this. The problem is, I don’t know anymore. And that’s what’s killing me. I’ve also had a psychologist who told me that just because I feel guilt or “care,” it doesn’t necessarily mean I like him — and that sent me spiraling. She said that maybe I care about people in general, but it doesn’t mean I love him. And it made me feel like I’m just lying to myself. That maybe I’m holding on out of obligation, or because I set in my head that I “have to be with him.” And even when he tells me beautiful things — logical things — things that SHOULD make me feel safe and seen… I don’t feel better. I just feel more empty. And then I start spiraling again: “If this doesn’t help me feel better, then something must be wrong.” “What if I’m just pretending?” “What if I’ve been lying to myself all along?” I feel like there’s something wrong inside of me. Like no matter what anyone says, or how much love I’m given, I can’t feel it. I just want to know what to do. I want someone to tell me what this is. I want to stop feeling like I’m running after a version of myself that used to feel, used to love, used to be calm. I don’t know if this is ROCD or if I’m just slowly facing a truth I’ve been afraid to accept. Please, if anyone has felt this way, I need to hear that I’m not alone. And if you’ve come out the other side… how? My relationship is perfect and he is perfect, i just deal with this and i am far from happy.
- Date posted
- 12w
I just read a post that said “people with ROCD know they love their partners” right when I read it I got this horrible anxiety feeling rush down into my stomach. My partner asked me to be his girlfriend in December and literally since that night It’s like a switch of doubt turned on and I was suffering with consistent doubt about loving my partner, I felt like I didn’t feel anything anymore and I didn’t know what to do and through out the past months it has been an absolute wave of things going on. He is aware of my ocd and in a way I’m glad that this happened because I have had harm ocd for the past 4-5 years and had no idea what it was until 2 months ago when I got an OCD therapist, I just thought I was crazy so I’m happy to know I’m not. Buuuuttt back to the ROCD, my main thoughts and feelings are about not feeling like i love my partner anymore and if we’re compatible, I hyper fixate on the weight he’s gained in the past few months and all the bad food he eats, I think about if our lives even align, we have very different views on some things but are we too different, what if we really don’t know each other at all and we thought we did because we’ve been best friends for 10 years. This is so frustrating because I’ve gotten to the point where my anxiety is barely there, I was have constant outrageous anxiety for 3-4 months and now I’ve gotten to this numb, I literally feel absolutely nothing feeling and it’s not even with just my boyfriend it’s with everything, I just don’t feel happy with anything anymore, I feel like there’s something wrong with me. We got into an argument the other day about how rude I was and I didn’t even feel sad or apologetic when he was talking to me about it, and I couldn’t stop crying, like I just don’t feel anything. I feel like there’s something really wrong with me. All I can describe it as is “blank” does that make sense? I feel like a bad person and I feel like we’re going to break up and I can tell how sad he is. All I do know is that I don’t want to break up. But anytime I think about him or anything along the lines of my ROCD everything like freaks me out. I like scream “NO” and “STOP” in my head all the time. But it’s starting to really feel real. I’m so scared, and now I read that post that said that “people with ROCD know they love their partner” but WHAT IF I DONT KNOW!!! I WANT TO LOVE MY PARTNER. I want to feel the love I had for him before this all started. We were so happy, and we didn’t even get the honey moon phase because my ROCD started right when we made it official. This is seriously so crippling.
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