Have ya'll ever ejaculated to the same gender?

Ok I have a question for y’all. After you have a good moment with a guy, like when you think about him and want to be with him and it feels good, does anyone get the intrusive thought “what if I’m romantically attracted to men but sexually attracted to women?” Because that just came up for me and it is not fun and very worrying. Because I have been aroused by lesbian porn (I did this before my HOCD intrusive thoughts started) and now I’m worried because I was aroused by that I can only be sexually attracted to women ?

Lately I've been having a lot of groinal responses, don't want them to be there. Before any of this even happened to me, I don't think I ever had a groinal response looking at another man, it makes me convinced that I've always been gay. I don't wanna be gay. This morning I had a dream about a rapper, it wasn't sexual but for some reason I was hard? I have always been a fan of his music and that's it. Now that's fueling my thought process even more and convincing me that I'm gay and I've been in the closet for a while At the same time i keep crying looking at my ex cause i miss her so much. Another thing to note that whenever i see good looking men or men that are gay i get groinal responses, whereas before this I don't think any of this happened to me. Whenever i look at these men i have to actively take a few deep breath's to catch up my breath, i can feel my heart beating. And most of the times I'm not even thinking anything sexual when ilook at these men it's weird. None of this brings me happiness at all. At this point I'm scared of my own groin cause i don't know what to expect or what's gonna happen. My brain keeps going you're in denial I've always been into women, as far as i can remember, I've lost complete attraction to them especially after my break up and getting depressed and having anxiety. And i keep thinking find a man attractive and if i get a groinal response, " wanna have sex with him" where as before any of this happened to me, these thoughts never even came to my mind, my 22 years of life feels like a complete lie and i hate myself, I've lost all motivation to do Normal things, i feel sleepy, i don't feel confident, loss of attraction, loss of libido, loss of will power, my thoughts keep morphing from " you might be gay" to "you are gay" to "you're bi" to "you're gay" to " you're in the closest" to "how are you gonna come out?". None of these thoughts make me happy, it makes me more confused and scared and kinda uncomfortable, and weirded out too. Another thing i did was since December till March i watched gay porn and barely got aroused and didn't really find it all that hot.? But my brain ignores that i understand now that it was a compulsive thing that's why i stopped but now i get so many groinals it's so weird Can someone tell me what's going on with me? Please please please someone take the time out of their day to read this and respond, thank you! 😩😩😩

Why can't I figure this out and why when I try to it makes me feel like I am gay? I feel so depressed I was starting to be myself again and I was so happy even got a girlfriend and was working out and about to get a job too but now it's all lost I hav wno motivation to do anything, when I check gay porn I get aroused, when I imagine scenarios no matter what I get aroused I guess I've lost. I've never been homophobic or saw it as wrong but I also was never interested in men I always had crushes and fantasized about women and wanting to only be with women but now it feels like I can't even do that. I'm also noticing men alot more now too as handsome or pretty boy faced and it's making me feel even more in denial ): I fucking hate this so much I would do anything to go back to my comfortable happy self who was straight and girl crazy. I really hope this isn't all real I don't want any of this i just want to be straight not because of society but that's what made me the happiest and most fulfilling version of myself. I just don't understand why it all feels so real? Why I can't no matter what have certainty that stops me from checking? Why does porn cause arousal? Why do I notice men alot more? Even now I still don't want sex or a relationship especially a relationship because the thought of being intimate with a man isn't something I want and would make me uncomfortable and sex causes arousal but it's not something I want unlike women I desire it I want it. It makes me feel all fuzzy and good inside.