When people tell me to accept it, do they mean accept the thought or accept that you have these thoughts. Because I have Suicidal OCD and I get these thoughts and just can’t accept that I could do something like that
You accept all of it. Accept the uncertainty of life, accept you might or might not have these thoughts for the rest of you life, accept you might or might not be suicidal, and so on. Your theme will change throughout life but the theme isn’t the main focal point—it’s dealing with OCD as a whole. And you deal with it by not caring enough to start the OCD cycle.
People who don't have OCD may not understand the situation you're going through right now.Therefore, it is possible for them to interpret your intrusive thoughts differently.It is very important who told you to accept these. If someone who specializes in OCD has told you this, it means they want you to accept that these thoughts exist. People with OCD try to avoid intrusive thoughts, because these thoughts make them extremely nervous. Trying to escape these thoughts are also a compulsion. Individuals with OCD feel guilty for having these thoughts and think that they are a very bad person. But every person, with or without OCD, has had these thoughts at least once. So accepting these thoughts means accepting the existence of these thoughts, not the possibility of them being real. Acknowledging the existence of these thoughts will make it easier for you to ignore them, thereby reducing the need to perform compulsions to avoid them. So whenever you feel like these thoughts are disturbing you, you should be able to tell yourself that "yes there is this thought in my mind so what? Maybe i will or maybe i will not. I don't know. But i don't want to figure it out now." It may be hard at first but be prepared to say this like million times if it is necessary. It will teach your brain to accept these thoughts as just thoughts without overinterpreting them.
So I just accept it like “ok I’m having these thoughts because I have ocd”
It is about noticing the thought and doing nothing about it. For example, you have a thought about jumping in front of a train, you notice it, you acknowledge it, but you don't do anything about it. It is also about coming to terms with the worst scenario.
i think accept that you have these thoughts? recognizing that might help reassure you that you don’t actually want to commit and it’s just a reoccurring compulsive thought
Basically, because having these thoughts do not make them real. Just because you have suicidal thoughts doesn't mean you'll act on them. Thinking about these thoughts and seeking reassurance will only increase your anxiety and strengten your OCD. The goal here is to stop fighting uncertainty and thus learn to tolerate anxiety. It may be harder to do it alone at the beginning so you may consider getting professional help.
What if we are like « what if it’s only a matter of time before I do it? » or « what if I want to and I don’t know it ? » it terrifies me I don’t want to think that. Should I juste accept the doubts, repeating « the maybe maybe not thing » and let it be like « okay wathever you say » ?
If you wanted to do it then you would know that you wanted to do it. This is OCD playing tricks with your mind. What actually bothers you right now as i understand is the uncertainty of it. You think like OK i dont want to do it now, but what if i want to do it one day. So by telling yourself maybe i do, you acknowledge the possibility of your thoughts. And by telling yourself maybe i dont you create an uncertainty for your OCD. You are simply acknowledging the possibility of you may not do it. By saying i don't know, you admit yourself that you're not sure about whether you will or won't commit suicide. And just let the anxiety set in without trying to fix it. And last step is about response prevention. Simply by saying i'm not going to try to figure it out now. Allow the questions in your mind to stay unanswered and for the next couple minutes try to refrain any efforts to determine whether you will do it or not. At least this is what i do to stop ruminating about my own intrusive thoughts.
Ok I’ll try :) like right now I’m calm so I’m thinking « I shouldn’t be calm that’s not normal my defense mechanism are not working » so it scares me
Should I just follow your advices and letting uncertainty come ?
You don't have to invite this uncertainty out of nowhere but when it comes, don't fight with your thoughts feel the anxiety but don't do anything to make it disappear. Whatever it tells you simply just don't listen or don't take it seriously. Ignore it like you'd to an annoying person. After you feel your anxiety fading away you may do something like a hobby or going for a walk etc. to relax and to distract yourself.
Okay I’ll try all of that :) thanks a lot for taking the time to answer
Does anyone just have absurd thoughts, and have such a hard time accepting them? OCD is tricky and how can I just accept this is how it is . I’m so tired of fighting myself. I have such a hard time accepting these awful thoughts about killing my daughter.
I've been told a lot that in order to get better, we need to tolerate uncertainty, which yea I get that and I'm trying every day more and more to reach that point!! But I've also been told that we need to tolerate uncertainty AND "our worst fears becoming true". Like how does that work, especially with POCD, OCD about a///ault, SA and all of that? Like that is really difficult for me and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to just shrug stuff like that off
The subject of OCD matters to the sufferer because it feels like confirmation that they are fundamentally unlovable and unwanted—as if even existence itself doesn’t want them. They feel like an error, carrying a deep sense of guilt and shame, as if they were inherently wrong. They suffer from low self-esteem and a deep internalized shame, because long ago, they were fragmented and learned a pattern of fundamental distrust—especially self-distrust. But the real trouble doesn’t come from the content of the most vile or taboo thoughts. It comes from the fact that the sufferer lacks self-love. That’s why, when you begin to walk the road to recovery, you’re taught unconditional self-acceptance—because that’s what all sufferers of OCD have in common: if you aren’t 100% sure, if there isn’t absolute certainty, the doubt will continue to attack you and your core values. It will make you doubt everything—even your own aversion to the thoughts. You have to relearn how to trust yourself—not because you accept that you might become a murderer someday—but because you enter a deep state of acceptance about who you truly are. It’s not about becoming a monster at all. It’s about making peace with what lies at the root of the fear. Making peace with the guilt. With the shame. Making peace with yourself and the person you fear you might be. Because that fear is not rooted in reality. It’s not rooted in any true desire to act. It’s rooted in your identity—specifically, in what might threaten it. That’s what confirms the belief that you are fundamentally wrong. And OCD fuels that belief by using intrusive taboo thoughts to attack your very sense of self. But then I wonder: let’s say, for example, someone fears being or becoming a sexually dangerous person—how could that person practice unconditional self-acceptance? I would never accept myself if I were to harm anyone—the thought alone makes me want to cry. I know it’s not about whether or not someone acts on the thought. It’s about the core fear underneath it. So how do you accept yourself when the thoughts—and the feelings around them—feel so completely unacceptable ?
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