I need advice

My wife thinks that I don’t trust her. She knows that I’ve dealt with OCD for several years but I guess it’s because I don’t normally share the details of what my mind is obsessing over that she thinks I don’t trust her, but I do tell her when I’m having a bad day. Although I do have trouble trusting people with information because of my upbringing, I told her that with OCD it’s that I can’t trust my own mind. I’ve had obsessions in the past over events that seemed so critical at the time that I now realize meant nothing and I remember during those times wanting to confess to people so badly for reassurance and then when I did it didn’t help anything. I’ve tried explaining to her how this disease tricks your brain but I’m not sure that she understands it. Please don’t take this as me talking down about my wife because she is awesome. I’m really just wondering if I should be more open or if maybe I should try to help her understand OCD better?

Real Events OCD

Username: AmIMeAmIMe

Date posted: 2y ago

I don't think you're talking down about your wife at all. It's hard for people to understand that we have thoughts, urges and fears we don't want to have. Having thoughts that who we as a person are don't agree with. I feel terrible when I have thoughts about someone and/or images based around someone that I don't agree with. I can't even imagine what it must feel like someone saying you don't trust them when OCD confuses you enough as it is. For me only my therapist knows about me having all these thoughts and is the first to understand things I have tried to explain to other therapist for years. I really do think it would be beneficial for someone to help her understand. I also think it could be beneficial to be more open about what's going on in your head. I also think it could cause thoughts and urges to become more pronounced for a bit and including a therapist or someone close to you in the process.

Username: catgpcatgp

Date posted: 2y ago

My therapist offered the opportunity to speak with my partner to explain more about OCD. Perhaps this could be an option? I get where you are coming from with not always talking about thoughts. OCD doesn't respond to talking in the traditional way compared to other issues but it can be hard for other people to understand this.

Username: NicaNica

Date posted: 2y ago

This is a great suggestion (what I was going to suggest). If you’re seeing an OCD specialist you should invite your wife to join you.

Username: ThatsPrettyNeatThatsPrettyNeat

Date posted: 2y ago

I definitely may do that! It’s just tough because my current obsession is something from years ago that I never even thought about until recently that’s made me feel terrible about myself so I think she feels like I’m hiding it from her. I’m starting therapy next week to try to understand why it’s all the sudden bothering me. The reason why I haven’t told her is because I don’t even know if the thoughts that I’m thinking about it are true as well as what it’s made me think about myself. So basically I want help from a professional before I go to her because I feel like telling her will just make me obsess about the fact that I told her. And knowing that OCD has distorted other things from my past, I am afraid that she will just take how I’m feeling about myself as truth without understanding the OCD side of it.

Username: catgpcatgp

Date posted: 2y ago

That makes sense. OCD can take a memory or event from the past and make it feel as if you need to pay attention to it. I think there is information on the NOCD website about real event OCD that might be helpful if you haven't seen it already. Hope the therapy goes well.

Username: sillygoose1012

Date posted: 3y ago

Has anyone told their s/o about their soocd or rocd? I don't really want to tell my boyfriend details about what I struggle with because I don't want him to feel insecure or inadequate but I also know he is curious about what I mean when I have OCD because he knows I'm not a very organized/clean person which most people think OCD is. We are open with me taking health and I don't want to withhold how I feel but I can't outright tell him my struggles. Any advice?

Username: kmorigz

Date posted: 3y ago

Does anyone have any advice for sharing their obsessions with their significant other? I struggle with relationship and sexuality OCD. My boyfriend knows I have OCD, but we have never discussed it in detail. I think he is trying to respect my boundaries and I am terrified he won’t understand my obsessions and/or will take them personally. As a result I feel like I am hiding this horrible secret, and it is causing me so much anxiety. I want to talk to him about it, but I don’t know how to bring it up in a way that won’t hurt him.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 49w ago

Told my girlfriend, and I sorta regret it.

Hey guys, so these past 4 months I had a sudden onset of OCD after a concussion. It first started with HOCD which was super distressing as I’ve been in a 9 year relationship with my girlfriend. It then evolved into transgender OCD, which was horrible as well but it felt easier to disprove my intrusive thoughts. That and of course horrible health anxiety about my head. And it’s funny, as soon as I got comfortable with one topic, the OCD would jump to another. Basically over time I accepted all these negative thoughts about all these topics, so where does my mind go? I had a physical groinal response to an image of an underage person. It freaked me out so much that all day I was obsessing over it, I eventually told my girlfriend as she’s been supportive with me over the other topics. But this…. She’s angry with me, and doesn’t trust me anymore. And she doesn’t understand the groinal response. She did ask to sit in a therapy session with me to help her understand. But that’s about all the communication I’ve gotten from her. I feel so alone. And it’s literally ruining everything I’ve built up with her for the past 9 years. I wish I hadn’t told her. And instead just asked her to join a therapy session with me. Just making this post as I just need someone to talk to.

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