The thoughts are oh so bad again. I even can get turned on by the thought of being sexual with a girl but I really don’t want it. ( I’m a girl ). At least I don’t think I do. I looked up questioning sexuality and it said THIS MAY TRIGGER YOU— it said that if you fear it, it may be because you want it because “sexual attraction can be scary”. I don’t want to be with a girl but I feel like lately that’s all I can think about. I can’t even get turned on or get off ( sorry TMI maybe ) to the opposite sex but I can so easily with the same sex even though I don’t really want to. This is so scary I’m not sure what to do.

Sexual orientation is not black or white. It is more like a spectrum. You could be attracted to women and men, a lot of people are although they don't admit it. I used to have a similar fear until I realized it was normal. Sometimes I am attracted to a woman. Not a big deal... I honestly wouldn't act on it because I am already married to a man, but I felt like normalizing it helped me a lot.

Stop right there. This is not about normalizing anything. Telling someone with ocd to "admit it" is pulling the fucking trigger. Saying that is not gonna help with an compulsive obsession, you are just going to cause more pain into the ill person. The theme of the obsession is not exactly the problem here so please don't say those things so easily. None of the sufferers think having others sexual orientation is bad, they just can't stop thinking about it because they have an obsessive behaviour to treat, shut up.

Wow, nice way to disagree politely. The point is that I have had similar thoughts and by normalizing it, it didn't have power over me anymore. You can't disagree with someone's own experience.

You should not generalize. Your perspective is yours and honestly is not the adequate to deal with this. "The fear" you said is not the real problem, again. We are people who overthink too much, we are obsessive sometimes and we autoboicote ourselves. That is what treatment is going to take care. Seriously is like if you tell someone here with intrusive thoughts of being a pedophile to actually admit they are pedophiles. Or someone with selfharm or suicide ocd to hurt themselves, because they have to face it. The theme is not what matters here. We are going to obsses with everything that we disagree and reach our minds. Do you understand? There are also a lot os people with soocd who are bi, gay or lesbian who think they are just straight now. And is the same as the hoocd. They are not afraid on turning straight, they just can't stop thinking about because their behaviours are not really healthy.

Stop googling. Its a compulsion :) you have OCD. I had to take google off of my phone when I was deep in OCD.

Something that causes you distress is never going to be something that you enjoy. Simple as that. Believe in your behaviours and not in your intrusive thoughts. Is not that you feel attraction. Now you see a woman and that scares you. Is angsty and with just that you ask yourself all the time "so what do you think about this?" that makes insecure about yourself and the doubts are bigger and bigger until desperation comes to freak you out. You are waiting all the time, in alert, for a reaction.

That you all for those words, means a whole lot. I know I’ll get through this... also side comment how do tag someone

@idont241 yes I can picture it, but I can picture anything. I don’t know if I’d like it because I make myself picture it. I’m not against being gay, but I don’t think it’s who I am and if it is I’m not supportive of the thoughts I have. Anything is possible, and being gay is so normal so I think that’s what makes it so hard. Not saying any other theme isn’t just as hard but fearing killing a family member is not as normal and common yk? You said besides sex and tbh I think same sex, sex doesn’t make someone gay or bi it’s just experimenting so I can picture that much more than really being with a women.

By the way, its the fear that has power over you. If you take the fear away, the power is gone.

@emimilu28- I appreciate your honesty. We all have different backgrounds and make sense as best as we can. I get turned on by women as well. My ocd keeps telling me I want a girl and it’s so convincing. I have already left a bf for this type of thing and regretted it. I think ocd is the worst. Distinguishing true desires from others can be extremely hard.

@brooklyn33- what do you know about people that are bi with hocd? What are there fears/ thoughts like?

Cool- id like to understand it better

With bisexuality is more about the feeling that you are faking it. That you are not real and you just are looking for attention... the worst is that now you don't even know what sex you like now, so it feels like you are turning ace too... but that's not true. The good thing is that you can apply the same soocd treatment.

Besides sex, do you see yourself being in a relationship with another woman?

I have type 1 diabetes, and for a long time I had a fear that I would accidently overdose myself without thinking about it. Kind of on autopilot. So I came up with these intense rituals/routines and checks to make sure I didn't do it... and still, the fear would creep up and I would go into a panic attack. I started giving myself a comforting thing to say each time I had the fear, "I trust myself" and relief would just wash over me. I don't fight that one anymore. I have new ones, but giving yourself something positive to redirect yourself to in order to remind yourself that you have nothing to fear can go a long way.

I am one.

Ocd is not about accepting your "fears". Is about accepting you have unreal thoughts and a way of thinking with an obsessive behaviour. You can be afraid of spiders and that is a fear. But if you obsess about the idea or being biten by them is another matter. Don't generalize, please. People with hocd will be really happy just saying they have another sexuality if with that their obsession will stop right there. But they can't because they are not and their thoughts are in a mess. And with the lgtb community is the same. If you tell this people they are just afraid of being what they are not, well, Im sorry but that is a trigger bigger than a dinosaur. Accepting this is a extremely hard treatment called erp. That is when you face anxiety Without Giving a Response. Even if you answer to your doubt "I am X or I am Y" in the end is only reassurance, and in the future a compulsion that is going go hurt you...

Someone put this here not so long ago. Read it if you can, is really interesting https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/homosexual-obsessions/ :)

Is there anything about bisexual fears in there? I skimmed and didn’t see anything

Honestly I have to say accepting that you could be what you fear is helping me in some ways. Or more so accepting the uncertainty of it. Maybe this wouldn’t work for other themes but when I just say “yup I could be bi, or gay who knows” and changing the thought in my head kinda helps give the thoughts less meaning.

If you do that when the doubt is not in your head and you don't have anxiety that's a good thing, if not is only reassurance. You should not give that as a response when the doubt appears. Or at least do it with some treatment of your therapist. Doing erp without it could be dangerous... And also accepting the uncertainty is not accepting that you are something else :)