I have severe OCD and I experience all different types of intrusive thoughts and compulsions I fucking hate it! But one thing I struggle with the most is POCD! It makes me violently sick and disturbed but I know it’s not me and I know it’s not true but then why do I feel so disgusting? I have two children, one 5 and the other is 1, I don’t want to change my daughters nappys I don’t want to get her dressed (of course I do because I don’t have a choice) but it triggers me so bad and gets me in a state, I don’t know how to get over this I’ve had this certain thought for over six weeks and I can’t do it anymore, I’m so distressed they deserve better, why can’t I just be a normal person, I’ve actually thought about giving them up over these thoughts it’s breaking me and it’s breaking my heart, I actually can’t try beat this anymore.

Take a deep breath. You are giving you children the gift of your self sacrifice. You carry this cross for them. This same situation terrifies me in the future. But you fight this for them. That is love.

You can do this! You are stronger than you know. I’ll be praying for you.

So much love I understand what this feels like ❤️ remember you wouldn’t have these thoughts and fears so strongly unless it was the absolute opposite of what you want. Nobody fights and battles with nice thoughts or is overpowered by them - for a reason. Your brain wants to solve it and try and find safety and a solution because it sees the thoughts as threatening. Try to say to the thoughts ‘I hear you, be with me’ no matter how hard it is - it’s ok if it feels hard and the thoughts are still there. Thoughts aren’t facts ❤️

I understand completely, I struggled with bathing and dressing my children too because of my pocd. It was such a trigger for me but you have to push through. Your babies need you and you will get through this!! If you aren't on meds then honestly I suggest you try them. I take sertaline right now and clonazapam as needed for my anxiety attacks

I think it’s part of just accepting that we may always have the thoughts. But that doesn’t mean we like them. The goal is to manage them. Medicine is great but I tried it once but stopped. I tried Prozac and it made the thoughts worse. The tools you learn in therapy like mindfulness and separating the thoughts as ocd rather than you are the tools that help you beat it. Medicine is great to reduce anxiety about the thoughts though. But the tools like I mentioned before will help you the most. I’m no therapist but from what I researched and have been doing it seems to work for me. Exposure around children and slowing accepting that the thoughts will be there are the first step. Know that they are ocd thoughts. And slowly the anxiety will go down.

Accepting the thoughts will be there does not mean you like them.

You can do it!

Thank you so much guys your support actually means the world, to know I’m not alone and I’m not the only person in the world that’s been/going through this! I was on fluoxetine but seemed to fizzle out then I went on sertraline and got suicidal for some reason so around 6 weeks ago I went on to citalopram and a few weeks in it seemed I was happier but now I’ve gone downhill again 🤨 I think I may have to speak to my doctor and see what the next step could be! Has anyone got any advice for when I get these pedophillia thoughts? I haven’t quite found a way to shake them off yet, it’s hard when I do the school run twice a day too so I’m constantly around children! :( 🤎🤎