- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you ? How did you overcome it though?
- Date posted
- 6y
I haven’t fully over come it but I’m almost there, it used to consume my every thought and now I rarely think about it. I done it by realizing that no-one is perfect & whenever I get an intrusive thought I just agree with it or For eg. If I think in my head he isn’t attractive I would say “but I love him so it doesn’t matter’’ or if I think “he isn’t the one for me” I’ll say “oh well of course there could be someone else, I don’t care because atm I’m with him” My main thing is don’t try to change him & don’t give in to the compulsions. Just accept him by always telling yourself “oh well” type thoughts
- Date posted
- 6y
This may be due to you not feeling good enough to be in a relationship or low self esteem that your mind will cause trouble. Ask yourself want you really want . What do I want ? Do I really want to be with him ? If yes then you are in control and you are good enough just relax and let things flow. Only break up with someone if they are not being nice to you or have hurt your feelings purposely.
- Date posted
- 6y
I honestly think ROCD is the result of thinking love is everything & more than what it is. Movies are all based on love & songs too. We have been fed this image that love is this strong feeling and everything is perfect when in reality that’s just lust, it doesn’t last long. Real love is what you feel towards ur family (if u love ur family) and that is the way you should feel about the person you are dating, you love them but they are NOT perfect, just like you love ur mum or sister or dad, they are not perfect, they are not the best looking, they aren’t geniuses, they are not flawless but you love them anyway. Take the pressure off your partner to be perfect and you can enjoy your relationship. If you didn’t love him you would leave . :) I’ve dealt with it and overcome ROCD (for the most part) and I realised the reason I focused on him so much was because I wasn’t happy in my self and I thought he has to make me happy. Good luck :!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Are you still on this site? I am going through this right now and I am very lonely ?
- Date posted
- 6y
I have an urge to break up with my bf this morning ?
- Date posted
- 6y
My worry is more whether he makes me happy enough
- Date posted
- 6y
I do want to be with him but this is anxiety is ruining everything. I have zero sex drive whatsoever and that is obviously not going down very well at all.
- Date posted
- 6y
@sn22pb I've been in the same situation not feeling sexual toward them. It took me while to realise I just wasn't ready for a relationship maybe i wanted one but for me I wasn't ready I was young didn't really know what I wanted as you get older things may become more clear with experiences. But I think in your relationship you may be feeling too comfortable to want to be sexual or you could actually not be attracted to them because they are too easy if that makes sense. When someone is playing hard to get you want them more but when people are just there when ever you want it's a bit boring let's say. So maybe you could be bored but that does not mean you don't love them. I think the best thing to do what I did is to be patient see if you feel differently overtime.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
Recently my ocd keeps asking me if I love my boyfriend enough and that if I don’t love him enough I should breakup with him. It’s really bothering me and idk what to do about it. Sitting in the uncertainty is too much and I fear sitting with it too long I’m just gonna crack and give in to a compulsion.
- Date posted
- 20w
I know it’s long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months I’d say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause it’s been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasn’t communicating how I should have been when I was upset because I’ve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but It’s weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didn’t feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that I’m not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and it’s like that’s the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I don’t care like I used to because I think of how he doesn’t deserve this when he does this or he shouldn’t have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? That’s horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I can’t do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And that’s not how it used to feeel which scares me because I don’t want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause it’s the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. I’m scared. Is it possible I’m just I’ve been mad and resenting how it’s been cause he’s been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I don’t want to stay in something where I don’t feel toward him the way I want to but I really don’t want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesn’t deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question him😭 trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldn’t think like this or feel like this.
- Date posted
- 19w
Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.
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