Not sure what to put here I don’t know what to do

You are doing great by realizing you don’t want the thoughts. That’s the first step. And from there be patient with yourself and keep working on doing mindfulness and letting the thoughts past. They will be there be we have to let them come and go which takes a lot of practice, so be patient with yourself

It is an exhausting fight. But it’s the one we have to surrender to everyday. But it only makes us stronger people.

I’m in the same boat. I have one with my school but she isn’t OCD specific but she understands I wanted mindfulness tools and not thought stopping and wanted ERP.

On top of everything else my friends of almost a decade seem to be getting tired of me I always have to initiate a convo or a hangout, and I know if they act like that they aren’t real friends but with everything else going on it hurts knowing how little I mean to them.

Exactly same story here. I researched and had to do the hard stuff. First by learning tools for mindfulness to separate ocd thoughts and who I am. Then from there learning to let the thoughts past. The more you engage them the more intense they are. Have to allow them to pass. It’s hard at first but after a while it gets easier. And remember. Love is a choice. You know you love them. The greatest act of love is sacrifice and self giving. Continue to purse her even with the thoughts. If you know you love her that is enough.

I tell you this because I understand and know you can do it too.

I’m actually not on medication. I have taken Prozac and it made everything worse. And some days are better than others still but medication only lessen the anxiety. But the body can grow a tolerance to it like all medications and it becomes less effective. The real tools to help you learn to fight ocd is retraining our minds. Mindfulness and changing how we think about things. It’s retraining the brain. To sit in anxiety(triggers) and stay there retrains the brain to know we aren’t in danger. And eventually the brain believes it. It may take a while and thoughts still may come up but it doesn’t give us anxiety as much anymore. You deserve happiness and you are strong. This only makes us stronger.

Medication can be a crutch if mindfulness/erp isn’t being used also.

But don’t get me wrong medication can be a good thing also but it should be the only thing is what I’m getting at.