- Username
- MissLovely
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I understand you, when I told people I got anxiety like super bad and honestly regretted it but I think it’s was a good thing to do. People will never 100% understand how it feels which is why they might act a bit off when you tell them. I remember telling my friend about hood and she was like so you like girls and I was like no it’s just my brain obsesses over the fact I might and sometimes I feel like she thinks I’m just lying but Idk. She properly dosen’t. Also I think the best think to do is spend time with your nephew with people around only for maybe hour bursts and then go home even though you get anxiety until eventually you don’t have the thoughts because you know that’s not you.
Have you thought about therapy? I know I should have gone it, because I am slightly better now I get ocd thought everyday but it’s not like from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep anymore it’s just more like 5 mins and then it goes away. I know that there is a possibility that in the future it will get worse because I’ve always had times in my life I’ve had really bad anxiety and obsessions but it happens over years. There is ways you can reduce it yourself like I did such as anything that causes you anxiety do it, not if it to harm anyone but like if you can’t watch a show because there’s children in it, watch it even if it gives you anxiety
I was invited to go to my friend’s friend’s bbq party one summer. It was in the city and so it was done out on their balcony on the fifth floor. The hosts just had a new born and when my friend asked if I wanted to hold the baby I had a very intrusive image of dropping the baby off the balcony. Then all these what ifs bombarded me. Like how fast would it take for the baby to hit the ground. What if a stranger passed by. Will the parents make it in time. This really scared me and I couldn’t say “No!” fast enough.
And my friend saw my cousins reply on my laptop so now she probably thinks I want to throw kids out windows
Be honest. Tell them about ocd, explain yourself.
Thanks guys, well they will probably think I am a pedophile if I say about it. It's rediculous I'd never harm a child. I know it's rediculous and if I was a person that wasn't me I'd know I'd never harm anyone I hope to think I look kind cause I try to be kind. And as for going round my nephews, well he comes over once per week with my sister but the thought of him staying over and me waking up getting false memory ocd scared the shit out of me so I had to stay at my friends. And I worry that I look shifty. I told my mum about it and she said she use to have thoughts of harming me when I was little but she's never worried about looking like a pedo. And I'm worried cause I told her this, she took my nephew out to the garden in the dark so he wouldn't stay with me which makes me worry she secretely thinks I am one now. And my sister did the same when I told her she took him in the kitchen when she needed to go in there. I feel like I'm being treated like a sodding pedo. Fuck ocd
Is it possible that you could send the a website or something about it as they properly don’t believe it’s a real thing and are just acting as if you really are?
My mum has had it herself just not the worrying everyone thinks she is one. And my sister has had thoughts of raping people. So I don't know why they treat me like one. They are still loving to me they know I've never acted on it. My mum still buys me chocolates and gives me hugs etc. I'm 19 and she still treats me like her baby lol. And my sister is still lovely to me but I guess they're just paranoid of leaving me in the room with children now which makes me want to kill myself (I have no plans to do so though and know numbers to call if the thoughts get too bad), thinking everyone thinks I'm a monster.
Yeah I have had therapy sessions but they've stopped for a bit until the ocd group starts. To be honest I found it useless. Noone can change the way we think in my opinion. Meds are the only thing that can help. But it isn't helping me and it has almost been three months. Not sure if I'm getting worse or staying the same. And as for the baby fear, I worry about dropping babies. I haven't heald a baby in years. I worry cause their head is so floppy and you have to support it, that I'll let go of it's head and it will die or something. I honestly don't know how I coped with my little sister when I was 8 cause even then I got really horrible intrusive thoughts. It's the things we care about most that we get intrusive thoughts about. It's like our mind hates us
Friday I had a panic attack after a really stressful event and was unable to sleep. I got maybe 2 hours, if that. Saturday I had another stressful day and was unable to sleep. I was anxious about it all day long and then night came. Didn’t touch my phone. Ate something. Took a warm shower. Did sleep meditations. Nothing worked. Maybe slept four hours. Here is night 3. I traveled all day long with my family to a condo we are staying at for thanksgiving. So that’s 3 days of stressful things so far. I didn’t look at my phone for two hours tonight when we arrived to prepare for bed. I was beginning to feel exhausted. I even have an exhaustion headache. I tried reading for a wind down before bed. Went to bed at 10. It’s now 11:42 and I’ve tossed and turned. I’m crying in frustration. Ocd is telling me I’m never going to sleep again. I don’t know what to do. I’m away from my therapist. I’m away from my doctor. I’m going to try otc sleep aides tomorrow. I’m supposed to work from home tomorrow. And I can’t even fall asleep. It’s like I forgot how to do it in just 72 hours. I’m so frustrated and tired and anxious. Sleep is super important to me bc it helps keep ocd and ptsd in check. I don’t know what else to do and I’m supposed to be with family for a week. I’m 8 hours away from my home :(
My pocd has been so so awful this year i absolutely hate it. it gives me so many intrusive thoughts that plays into real events / false memories. An incident happened today and i cannot stop panicking. I was laying on the sofa as my head was sort of hurting and i was sleeping. My younger cousin came to get the remote from me and before she did i moved my head away from her and then closed my eyes and waited for her to move bc close contact makes me anxious. But here’s the thing. i’m freaking out because what if i moved my head back so it brushes past her private area? did it brush past her? were my intentions bad?? 😭 and the thing that makes this feel more real is the fact before she came over to pick the remote up, she called my name to change the channel but i didn’t reply and i think i knew she’d come over to get it. i think maybe that’s why i opened my eyes to move the control but by that time she had already come over. am i a bad person? literally an hour before this i was holding my breath when she was next to me because i didn’t want to breathe too much as it may make the sofa move underneath me which she was sitting on too. i feel like the worst person ever & i deserve to die 😭💔
hi i hope everyone is well!! i’m a bit upset atm. so i have had pocd for a while now and one of my biggest fears is happening rn. my younger cousin has to sleep with me as her parents are away and she said she wants to stay with me as she feels less homesick with me which is so adorable and it shows she feels safe with me. but im so scared of false memory ocd playing up and the what ifs. like i’m petrified to go into my room rn nc the thoughts are “everyone is asleep what if you do something” “what if you do something and don’t remember” or “what if you do something when you’re half asleep or asleep”. it’s almost 2am here and ive locked myself in the bathroom. im actually really nervous. she hasn’t slept in the same room as me since 2022. 😭😔 like my body feels like it needs to be tensed up and that i cannot relax. any advice will be appreciated
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