I just read a whole article on not ruminating and I'm totally lost. I asked my husband to read it and explain it to me and he's just as lost as I am.
imagine it as “going down a rabbit hole deeper, until you reach the bottom, then checking to see if that’s really the bottom” except that there is no bottom because you’re going into the past to solve problems that you can’t change, or into the future to solve problems that have no solution yet.
Its when you can stop thinking about something and you just keep going over the possibilities or just the same thought over and over without ever coming to a conclusion or solving the problem. An obsessive form of thinking, like going down a rabbit hole.
Try reading these articles, I think they will help you. https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/articles/
It’s basically trying to figure something out until you feel certainty (which is often not possible) and are satisfied with the answer. Often to the point that you are distracted and not fully present in life / conversations. As an example: Trying to figure out the chances of something I just touched being contaminated. Me: No one else has touched it for weeks OCD: but maybe they did when you weren’t looking Me: Even if they did it’s probably fine OCD: but people are gross and they don’t wash their hands Me: yeah but the chance it could make me sick is REALLY low OCD: it is not zero though! Me: yeah… but most people wouldn’t think twice about it and they would be fine OCD: they take unnecessary risks, we are more careful and that’s a good thing! Me: I’m so tired of washing my hands… but I’m more tired of thinking about this and feeling gross, so I guess I’ll do it one more time. Sigh. Meanwhile someone is trying to talk to me and I’m trying and failing to follow what they’re saying because there’s been too much noise in my own head 😅 it’s exhausting 😵💫
That makes more sense to me. I have harm ocd though and this happened out of nowhere so I don't really know what to do when I have a random thought? I tell myself yeah no that's not going to happen or it's not true so whatever and then I try to think of something else so I don't keep thinking about it and I guess that's wrong? So like what am I suppose to do? There's no way I can accept the scary thoughts I have sometimes because to me that's not okay for me to think them about my child.. 😭
Yeah, it’s pretty tricky. Not ruminating is kind of more passive than active? I’ll try to explain the best I can. So rather than actively trying NOT to think about the thought or trying to think of something else instead, you would acknowledge that the thought occurred (and you can call it out as being OCD. Sometimes it helps to separate the OCD part of your brain from the “you” part of your brain. I hope that makes sense, to me it really feels like having two different parts of my brain that are at odds). Once you’ve acknowledged it, don’t engage with it or try to figure out if it’s true. You don’t have to be ok with the thought or accept it as true. You also don’t have to resist it or argue with it. Just let it be there while you live your life and do your day-to-day stuff. You’ll probably feel anxious and freaked out that the thought is there, but that’s ok, just keep moving! The anxiety will eventually get less intense as time passes (for me it’s usually 5-10 minutes but it might be longer or shorter) If you have the thought in your downtime when you don’t have anything to stay busy with, I think it’s ok to distract yourself with a video game or music or something. Just to have something to focus on, but don’t actively try to replace the thought with those things. Just leave the thought alone while you do something else. I hope that makes sense! Something that has really helped me is the phrase: “what do you want to do while you feel anxious?” Mark Freeman said it in one of his “brain tech support” chats on YouTube, in response to someone telling him they were anxious about a thought they had. One of those aha moments 💡So while you’re feeling anxious about the thought being present, ask yourself what you WANT to do right now, then do it anxiety or not. Kinda forces OCD to the backseat and tells it YOU are the one driving the car! 😂
@MigratoryBird A real life example: Me: trying to make breakfast OCD: that thing you just touched is contaminated ⚠️ Me: Umm thanks for your concern, OCD *freaking out* OCD: OMG wash your hands! Me: Hmm I’m gonna want some coffee with breakfast *starts making coffee* OCD: Pay attention to me! This is bad! Me: Yum, the coffee smells good 😊 *still anxious but keeps making breakfast* It’s actually kind of like having a little kid in your head 😆 like when your toddler falls down and your first instinct is to gasp and say OMG! but if you freak out then the kid will for sure freak out whether they’re hurt or not. So you just hold your breath and smile and cheerfully say “oopsy-daisy!” And the kid is not hurt, just startled but sees that Mom isn’t worried so they laugh and get up and keep running around. Not ruminating is basically keeping that poker face despite being freaked out, and carrying on with life. Like a toddler, sometimes OCD will be like “oh ok, we’re good”. Other times it will cry and scream and demand your attention. Some days it’s easier, other days it’s harder. Recovery is not linear, there are lots of ups and downs, so don’t beat yourself up too much if you’re not successful on a hard day. Tomorrow or the next day or the next one will be easier ❤️🩹
@MigratoryBird it’s close to this, everyone has their own image of it, because of the cognitive behavior they learned. if you have had OCD for a little while in your life, somehow you WILL get to a few moments where you have just had the intrusive thought, and “oh my gosh, that’s the feeling of how I always used to think at one time. I remember!” It’s hard to understand until you have. I just started having it a few days ago because I unlocked some things for myself
Hey I came back because I realized my clarity is happening, only after I did something that took a few days. Get a notepad, or paper, or your phone. And start writing when you think you’re starting to feel anxious. Write the day, time, and all of your thinking/thoughts going while you feel the physical sensations. Keep doing this. You will start to catch the triggers, which start your rumination. And you’ll realize “wow I didn’t even know I was doing this!” And then you will actually be walking around able to say, “I know what ruminating is for me!” And subconsciously your brain will start to stay more grounded. It might hurt quite a bit to write things down, but you are helping yourself. This is so important. Good luck
Hello! I'm new here and new to OCD. My therapist suggested I might have OCD due to my tendency to ruminate endlessly on doubts and fears. These thoughts are indeed intrusive and I can't seem to stop them. The thing I'm kind of stuck on is that I can't see where the compulsions come in. Unless the thoughts themselves are compulsions. Can anyone relate to this?
Have you ever engaged in a thought and only left you more confused?
Two things are happening: I get thoughts that just keep looping. They almost feel like song stuck in my head. Also, I’ll imagine something and I feel my stomach drop. Then as the seconds go by I keep getting fragments of the this thought but with different details. For example, it’s kinda like how a “vision” is portrayed. I’ll get a glimpse of the thought and then it’ll rapidly expand into something worse every few seconds. I don’t know if I’m causing this or if it’s just an automatic thing like any other intrusive thought. It feels unavoidable, idk if this is a compulsion or if it’s just another manifestation of an intrusive thought. Apart from that remembering an intrusive thought triggers the full thought again and then it just keeps looping or expanding. I don’t know how to stop any of this. Help?
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