I just read a whole article on not ruminating and I'm totally lost. I asked my husband to read it and explain it to me and he's just as lost as I am.
imagine it as “going down a rabbit hole deeper, until you reach the bottom, then checking to see if that’s really the bottom” except that there is no bottom because you’re going into the past to solve problems that you can’t change, or into the future to solve problems that have no solution yet.
Its when you can stop thinking about something and you just keep going over the possibilities or just the same thought over and over without ever coming to a conclusion or solving the problem. An obsessive form of thinking, like going down a rabbit hole.
Try reading these articles, I think they will help you. https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/articles/
It’s basically trying to figure something out until you feel certainty (which is often not possible) and are satisfied with the answer. Often to the point that you are distracted and not fully present in life / conversations. As an example: Trying to figure out the chances of something I just touched being contaminated. Me: No one else has touched it for weeks OCD: but maybe they did when you weren’t looking Me: Even if they did it’s probably fine OCD: but people are gross and they don’t wash their hands Me: yeah but the chance it could make me sick is REALLY low OCD: it is not zero though! Me: yeah… but most people wouldn’t think twice about it and they would be fine OCD: they take unnecessary risks, we are more careful and that’s a good thing! Me: I’m so tired of washing my hands… but I’m more tired of thinking about this and feeling gross, so I guess I’ll do it one more time. Sigh. Meanwhile someone is trying to talk to me and I’m trying and failing to follow what they’re saying because there’s been too much noise in my own head 😅 it’s exhausting 😵💫
That makes more sense to me. I have harm ocd though and this happened out of nowhere so I don't really know what to do when I have a random thought? I tell myself yeah no that's not going to happen or it's not true so whatever and then I try to think of something else so I don't keep thinking about it and I guess that's wrong? So like what am I suppose to do? There's no way I can accept the scary thoughts I have sometimes because to me that's not okay for me to think them about my child.. 😭
Yeah, it’s pretty tricky. Not ruminating is kind of more passive than active? I’ll try to explain the best I can. So rather than actively trying NOT to think about the thought or trying to think of something else instead, you would acknowledge that the thought occurred (and you can call it out as being OCD. Sometimes it helps to separate the OCD part of your brain from the “you” part of your brain. I hope that makes sense, to me it really feels like having two different parts of my brain that are at odds). Once you’ve acknowledged it, don’t engage with it or try to figure out if it’s true. You don’t have to be ok with the thought or accept it as true. You also don’t have to resist it or argue with it. Just let it be there while you live your life and do your day-to-day stuff. You’ll probably feel anxious and freaked out that the thought is there, but that’s ok, just keep moving! The anxiety will eventually get less intense as time passes (for me it’s usually 5-10 minutes but it might be longer or shorter) If you have the thought in your downtime when you don’t have anything to stay busy with, I think it’s ok to distract yourself with a video game or music or something. Just to have something to focus on, but don’t actively try to replace the thought with those things. Just leave the thought alone while you do something else. I hope that makes sense! Something that has really helped me is the phrase: “what do you want to do while you feel anxious?” Mark Freeman said it in one of his “brain tech support” chats on YouTube, in response to someone telling him they were anxious about a thought they had. One of those aha moments 💡So while you’re feeling anxious about the thought being present, ask yourself what you WANT to do right now, then do it anxiety or not. Kinda forces OCD to the backseat and tells it YOU are the one driving the car! 😂
@MigratoryBird A real life example: Me: trying to make breakfast OCD: that thing you just touched is contaminated ⚠️ Me: Umm thanks for your concern, OCD *freaking out* OCD: OMG wash your hands! Me: Hmm I’m gonna want some coffee with breakfast *starts making coffee* OCD: Pay attention to me! This is bad! Me: Yum, the coffee smells good 😊 *still anxious but keeps making breakfast* It’s actually kind of like having a little kid in your head 😆 like when your toddler falls down and your first instinct is to gasp and say OMG! but if you freak out then the kid will for sure freak out whether they’re hurt or not. So you just hold your breath and smile and cheerfully say “oopsy-daisy!” And the kid is not hurt, just startled but sees that Mom isn’t worried so they laugh and get up and keep running around. Not ruminating is basically keeping that poker face despite being freaked out, and carrying on with life. Like a toddler, sometimes OCD will be like “oh ok, we’re good”. Other times it will cry and scream and demand your attention. Some days it’s easier, other days it’s harder. Recovery is not linear, there are lots of ups and downs, so don’t beat yourself up too much if you’re not successful on a hard day. Tomorrow or the next day or the next one will be easier ❤️🩹
@MigratoryBird it’s close to this, everyone has their own image of it, because of the cognitive behavior they learned. if you have had OCD for a little while in your life, somehow you WILL get to a few moments where you have just had the intrusive thought, and “oh my gosh, that’s the feeling of how I always used to think at one time. I remember!” It’s hard to understand until you have. I just started having it a few days ago because I unlocked some things for myself
Hey I came back because I realized my clarity is happening, only after I did something that took a few days. Get a notepad, or paper, or your phone. And start writing when you think you’re starting to feel anxious. Write the day, time, and all of your thinking/thoughts going while you feel the physical sensations. Keep doing this. You will start to catch the triggers, which start your rumination. And you’ll realize “wow I didn’t even know I was doing this!” And then you will actually be walking around able to say, “I know what ruminating is for me!” And subconsciously your brain will start to stay more grounded. It might hurt quite a bit to write things down, but you are helping yourself. This is so important. Good luck
There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.
I ruminated too much this morning and got distressing mental images (and confirmation) which sent me spiraling again. How do I stop thinking about this and how do I get back to myself? I feel destroyed.
I've been told it's impossible to "push intrusive thoughts away", but also that rumination is a compulsion. What is rumination vs. overthinking? And how do I stop ruminating properly and healthfully?
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