I just read a whole article on not ruminating and I'm totally lost. I asked my husband to read it and explain it to me and he's just as lost as I am.
imagine it as “going down a rabbit hole deeper, until you reach the bottom, then checking to see if that’s really the bottom” except that there is no bottom because you’re going into the past to solve problems that you can’t change, or into the future to solve problems that have no solution yet.
Its when you can stop thinking about something and you just keep going over the possibilities or just the same thought over and over without ever coming to a conclusion or solving the problem. An obsessive form of thinking, like going down a rabbit hole.
Try reading these articles, I think they will help you. https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/articles/
It’s basically trying to figure something out until you feel certainty (which is often not possible) and are satisfied with the answer. Often to the point that you are distracted and not fully present in life / conversations. As an example: Trying to figure out the chances of something I just touched being contaminated. Me: No one else has touched it for weeks OCD: but maybe they did when you weren’t looking Me: Even if they did it’s probably fine OCD: but people are gross and they don’t wash their hands Me: yeah but the chance it could make me sick is REALLY low OCD: it is not zero though! Me: yeah… but most people wouldn’t think twice about it and they would be fine OCD: they take unnecessary risks, we are more careful and that’s a good thing! Me: I’m so tired of washing my hands… but I’m more tired of thinking about this and feeling gross, so I guess I’ll do it one more time. Sigh. Meanwhile someone is trying to talk to me and I’m trying and failing to follow what they’re saying because there’s been too much noise in my own head 😅 it’s exhausting 😵💫
That makes more sense to me. I have harm ocd though and this happened out of nowhere so I don't really know what to do when I have a random thought? I tell myself yeah no that's not going to happen or it's not true so whatever and then I try to think of something else so I don't keep thinking about it and I guess that's wrong? So like what am I suppose to do? There's no way I can accept the scary thoughts I have sometimes because to me that's not okay for me to think them about my child.. 😭
Yeah, it’s pretty tricky. Not ruminating is kind of more passive than active? I’ll try to explain the best I can. So rather than actively trying NOT to think about the thought or trying to think of something else instead, you would acknowledge that the thought occurred (and you can call it out as being OCD. Sometimes it helps to separate the OCD part of your brain from the “you” part of your brain. I hope that makes sense, to me it really feels like having two different parts of my brain that are at odds). Once you’ve acknowledged it, don’t engage with it or try to figure out if it’s true. You don’t have to be ok with the thought or accept it as true. You also don’t have to resist it or argue with it. Just let it be there while you live your life and do your day-to-day stuff. You’ll probably feel anxious and freaked out that the thought is there, but that’s ok, just keep moving! The anxiety will eventually get less intense as time passes (for me it’s usually 5-10 minutes but it might be longer or shorter) If you have the thought in your downtime when you don’t have anything to stay busy with, I think it’s ok to distract yourself with a video game or music or something. Just to have something to focus on, but don’t actively try to replace the thought with those things. Just leave the thought alone while you do something else. I hope that makes sense! Something that has really helped me is the phrase: “what do you want to do while you feel anxious?” Mark Freeman said it in one of his “brain tech support” chats on YouTube, in response to someone telling him they were anxious about a thought they had. One of those aha moments 💡So while you’re feeling anxious about the thought being present, ask yourself what you WANT to do right now, then do it anxiety or not. Kinda forces OCD to the backseat and tells it YOU are the one driving the car! 😂
@MigratoryBird A real life example: Me: trying to make breakfast OCD: that thing you just touched is contaminated ⚠️ Me: Umm thanks for your concern, OCD *freaking out* OCD: OMG wash your hands! Me: Hmm I’m gonna want some coffee with breakfast *starts making coffee* OCD: Pay attention to me! This is bad! Me: Yum, the coffee smells good 😊 *still anxious but keeps making breakfast* It’s actually kind of like having a little kid in your head 😆 like when your toddler falls down and your first instinct is to gasp and say OMG! but if you freak out then the kid will for sure freak out whether they’re hurt or not. So you just hold your breath and smile and cheerfully say “oopsy-daisy!” And the kid is not hurt, just startled but sees that Mom isn’t worried so they laugh and get up and keep running around. Not ruminating is basically keeping that poker face despite being freaked out, and carrying on with life. Like a toddler, sometimes OCD will be like “oh ok, we’re good”. Other times it will cry and scream and demand your attention. Some days it’s easier, other days it’s harder. Recovery is not linear, there are lots of ups and downs, so don’t beat yourself up too much if you’re not successful on a hard day. Tomorrow or the next day or the next one will be easier ❤️🩹
@MigratoryBird it’s close to this, everyone has their own image of it, because of the cognitive behavior they learned. if you have had OCD for a little while in your life, somehow you WILL get to a few moments where you have just had the intrusive thought, and “oh my gosh, that’s the feeling of how I always used to think at one time. I remember!” It’s hard to understand until you have. I just started having it a few days ago because I unlocked some things for myself
Hey I came back because I realized my clarity is happening, only after I did something that took a few days. Get a notepad, or paper, or your phone. And start writing when you think you’re starting to feel anxious. Write the day, time, and all of your thinking/thoughts going while you feel the physical sensations. Keep doing this. You will start to catch the triggers, which start your rumination. And you’ll realize “wow I didn’t even know I was doing this!” And then you will actually be walking around able to say, “I know what ruminating is for me!” And subconsciously your brain will start to stay more grounded. It might hurt quite a bit to write things down, but you are helping yourself. This is so important. Good luck
I'm having the hardest time right now with my own ruminating negative thoughts that may or may not possibly come true. I fear the worst and replay what that looks like in my head over and over. The best I can do is my best and wait for the horror to end. I want to cry, but can't. I'm scared and alone in my head. My anxiety is extreme. What should I do in the meantime while I'm going through this? How can I minimize or stop the way I'm feeling? Please, I need help.
Advice needed please: Has anybody ever been in a situation where something traumatic or heartbreaking was happening in their life and struggled with rumination? I know there is like a normal amount that you should process something and cry it out but I don’t know that it is conducive to anything to do that on and off for hours? Wouldn’t it at a certain point be considered unhelpful rumination? And if so how does one stop? Because I’m going through something so hurtful and confusing that I don’t know how to stop thinking about it and the usual distractions don’t work for very long. And idk how important this is but it just happened today so it’s very fresh which makes it even harder to not think about and “figure out” why x, y, z happened. Goodness, I’m sorry if I’m weird or a baby
I cannot for the life of me stop ruminating or checking how I feel about thoughts or focusing on thoughts or creating more thoughts. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I want to scream. I try not to ruminate about the thoughts, but trying not to just makes me think about them more. I try not to check, but somehow, I still check. I want to let a thought sit in the background, but the more I try not to focus on it, the more I end up focusing on it. I don’t want the thought to expand because that feels like engaging with it, but I can’t just stop it from expanding. It feels impossible. People keep saying I’m in control of my compulsions, and maybe that’s true for the physical ones. But when it comes to the mental compulsions, I swear I have no control. It feels like I’m missing something that everyone else seems to have, like there’s some tool they’re using that I don’t have. Controlling mental compulsions has never felt possible for me. I’m starting to fear them. And every time someone says I’m in control and can just choose not to do them, I end up beating myself up even more when they happen. Or when I *choose* I guess. I don’t know anymore. If this is my fault, if I’m responsible for this, then what does that make me? I feel like a monster. I am at my wits’ end. How am I supposed to control mental compulsions when it feels like they control me? I freak out when they happen. They don’t bring me relief, they just make me panic. I want it to stop so bad.
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