- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Marsi - i have to use it for one of my jobs so anywhere from 3-4 days a week. It’s really rough since sometimes it’s ok and sometimes it’s filthy :( the sight of certain graphic things triggers me but I have no choice but use it. As a result, my routine is over an hour of showering and cleaning.
- Date posted
- 6y
No worries at all. Yes I’ve been trying to shorten it. It was an hour last night and that’s considered really good
- Date posted
- 6y
I shortened it a bit today but today I didn’t see anything gross in the public bathroom. It should have taken me 15 min but it still took an hour and I still dread the day when I’ll see something nasty and feel contaminated and would want to shower for 1.5 hours again. It’s so hard to think that seeing doesn’t equal contamination
- Date posted
- 6y
Good job Marsi!! I am so proud of you and really appreciate your advice. I too have a small victory to share. The stall I was in today was not fully flushed, let’s just put it that way, I flushed it, used it and yes I did feel like my entire being was contaminated. I sat with the anxiety and didn’t feel that stressed after some time. I still took a long shower but it wasn’t extra long so I’m glad I was able to kind of reason to myself that the water didn’t splash allover me or what not. All the typical doubts OcD casts.
- Date posted
- 6y
Marsi today was rough. Got the toilet water flush splashed in my arm. I obviously had to wash it 3x and the anxiety continues as I had to go on my day and touch other things despite the water possibly hitting my shirt too. It’s such bad timing as I’m exhausted from being on my feet since 8am
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes I’m over it now but it took washing my arm over 5x and a long shower to get there. Not to mention the clothes I wore all needed to be washed including my jacket which I normally wouldn’t have washed
- Date posted
- 6y
I push myself to use them but allow for adjustments like squatting over the toilet seat and washing hands thoroughly following. But still actively trying to use public rest rooms and face it! I also just focus on breathing deeply when I see things like fluids and others that really freak me out
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m still struggling with washing. I have to wash and scrub 3x
- Date posted
- 6y
It is SOO hard. I truly deal with this constantly and this past week we have been driving across the country and it has been HARD. You can imagine so I can spare any details. But the fact that people with OCD like us can just go through it and face it head on like this and just say ok deep breath let’s do this is huge. So many people go through life without facing many fears at all and here we are facing them every single day. That’s bravery and courage my friend.
- Date posted
- 6y
That is absolutely amazing Lark!!!! That’s a wonderful win and shows how much you’ve been working
- Date posted
- 6y
I am so so sorry. That is so incredibly hard. Are you alright??
- Date posted
- 6y
I would’ve absolutely done the same. But the important thing is you didn’t let it stop you from doing other things in your life or your job. You needed to clean, as most people would, and you did but you didn’t let it make you hide away from it all like i know is so tempting. That’s incredibly impressive
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks marsi. You are so kind.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m scared of my own bodily fluids so if I can’t have a bath a squeeze water bottle helps
- Date posted
- 6y
That sounds really really hard! I’m so sorry you go through that. Could you begin by shortening your cleaning routine every day or even just every week by a certain amount of time or one compulsive cleaning session (so taking out a second or third scrubbing of something)? I wash my hands and things around me very frequently but haven’t created a full Shower and cleaning routine to my knowledge so sorry if this comes off insensitive or off point!
- Date posted
- 6y
Seriously tho shortening it by any amount of time is an incredible feat!! Focus on that because that’s huge.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I’m having a big OCD relapse and would like to hear anyone’s tips on how to be present and healthily deal with these intrusive thoughts and the “need” to preform compulsions. Thank you!!
- Date posted
- 24w
back in october i made my first post about my specific type of ocd, how it mixes in with my day to day and how i “deal” with it. i talked about the starting point, how it gradually got worse, and then how it was going just a few months ago. i always think it’s insane how much can change in just the course of a small to a large amount of time. right now, i honestly feel like garbage. to be quite sincere i really want to give up, i’m barely holding on by a thread. and if i cut that thread, i really doubt anyone would care. i’ve never considered myself to be a suicidal person, and i still don’t consider myself that right now. it just gets to a point where it’s just, a lot to deal with. i don’t really enjoy things a lot nowadays. sure i have good days like everyone does, like today, when i was just enjoying my day without worries. but then it all comes crawling back twice as bad the following days. i take online college so i’m usually just stuck at home most of the time. but, when i do decide to actually go out and leave my house, my ocd just explodes because i have this whole routine i need to do or else i feel like i’ll contaminate wherever i end up going. i’m not going to go really deep into my compulsions because it’s hard enough to live with them, much more having to type them all out in detail. but when i go out my compulsions go from wiping down all my stuff i’m going to use after showering, to washing my clothes/cleaning the washer + dryer. i also have separate things (or two of the same thing) i use specifically in my house, and items i use when going out. such as shampoo/body wash, deodorant, lotion, hair curler, etc. as if that’s not draining enough, i also feel the need to fast a couple days prior to any plan i make because i’ve forced myself to believe i need to feel empty in order to be clean. i’m not sure if that’s my past eating disorder talking, or my ocd, but my brain can’t help but think any food in my house is utterly and completely contaminated. i’m so tired of this feeling, feeling like nothing will ever be clean again. feeling like my ocd is trapped in my childhood home. feeling that wave of diseases rushing through my veins the moment i step foot into what’s supposed to be “home”. and i’m so scared of therapy because what if i do get healed, and then everything comes rushing back the second i step into my room. i’m planning on moving somewhere far from my current house in this next coming year, so sometimes i feel like just waiting it out. but it’s insufferable when going to hangout with someone. i miss my friends, my family, and my partner. it’s crazy to me that i’m dealing with all this at the young age of 18 but, i’m sure lots of people have it way worse. i just want to find a way out, any possible way. but i keep pushing myself deeper and deeper that when i finally find a way, it will no longer exist.
- Date posted
- 20w
all morning i have been feeling like there is dirt and grime on my skin. i showered last night. i washed my hair on tuesday night and i will wash it tonight. but i feel like there is dirt in my scalp and in my hair and i feel like i haven’t showered in weeks. i don’t want to feel like this anymore. every day i am anxious about how clean i am and its taking over my life. any tips?
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