- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
Does this sound like OCD or GAD?
I was diagnosed with GAD a few years ago. (And panic disorder back in college) but early this year, when I was looking into some checking behaviors in my son, it was like the veil was lifted for me- and when I started reading about “pure O” and mental compulsions- I felt like my whole world was rocked. Like all of a sudden my whole childhood made sense. That all the things I had been doing were maybe OCD and not normal kid stuff. Here are some examples. Wondering your thoughts for those of you diagnosed? I finally went to a therapist and after three sessions (she didn’t even want to talk about my childhood at all) I asked her if she thought I could have ocd because of my compulsive researching and certain tendencies and she literally said “ocd looks like handwashing” and brought up Howie Mandel not touching door handles. That was a red. Flag so now I’m here. Thanks for any thoughts: Childhood triggers: Death- was CONSTANTLY worried my parents would die. Couldn’t go to movie theater and enjoy the movie. Or on vacation. Would spend the whole time worrying about their health. Did they have cancer? Both were smokers. Would just watch them breathe. Religion: OBSESSED with the end of the world. Tried to learn everything I could about it. Worried constantly that it was going to end at any moment. I would look out our front window to see if the church across the street was still there or if it was “raptured.” Prayed a lot over and over. Felt if I didn’t pray enough about certain things- like my parents health if they had to go to the doctor for a check up that God would punish me by giving them cancer. Was also very obsessed and worried about getting my period. (Luckily, or unluckily it didn’t come til I was 14). An example of how messed up I was- I would pray to God and barter that he could give me my period if it meant the world would not end. I was like 10-12 probably at this time. (Y2K was also around this time frame) How my symptoms have possibly adapted? (This is outside of rumination, mental review- I do a lot of that- but I feel like that’s common in GAD?) Had a bad bout with panic disorder in college where I was fearing for my own health all the time. I still have the issue. It’s now turned more into obsessive googling. I was recently diagnosed with Graves Disease and I know just about everything you could know about thyroids, tests, autoimmune illnesses etc. same with OCD. Same with ADHD for my kids. I plan what I’m going to google/research after work each day. I have to GPS my drive time to work just to see if I’m going to be late, even though it won’t change the outcome. I wake up like 1-2 hours before my alarm goes off every day and check my phone probably 15-20x before my alarm goes off.