- Username
- Shifoo
- Date posted
- 2y ago
How do you show someone that therapy works?
My girlfriend has severe ocd. I didn't know to this extend when we met. I knew her prior to the war and wrote that I would do anything to help her and her son escape. I have given 200% to help her leave ukraine, lived in Europe, and sponsored her to come to the US. During this time we decided to try being a couple. During the past 7months I have tried to love and live with what I call ocd rules. It is impossible. My gf has contamination ocd. She doesn't believe she can ever be cured. I hold out hope but I've run out of time, money, etc. I had a house but we could not stay in it because it was triggering. I then rented air bnb places until I each one was considered dirty so we left, then I ran out of funds. I eventually moved us to the state park so that we could still shower and try to make a normal life. Then she said the tents were dirty. Then she said the stove, utensils, table was dirty. I had to buy things over and over again. Then we had to switch camping sites because we walked on the ground there. Then it was easier to live in car. She would clean it out with baby wipes daily and lots of crying etc. She said she need stability , she needed a house... The cops were called on me many times because it looks and feels so alarming. I worked 2nd and 3rd jobs to make extra for a deposit on a new house. She has a Diabetic son that is used to following all the rules but he is young and negatively affected by all of this. I finally got enough to move us into a new house. Then she said I could not bring any furniture from My house to the new house because it was triggering. I have spent all my savings and my boss doesn't even know I have been living like I'm homeless for 2 months this summer. She says she wishes we could have furniture but I can't bring anything here, I have to buy everything new. It's impossible to do this fast. Shes resistant to therapy because she tried this in Ukraine and had a lot of bad experience. She also had a mother who shamed her and tried to remover her son from her. I'm the only family she has here but I am about done. I can't see my own kids as a result of these ocd rules--bc I know I would never ask them to follow them. I am tired of worrying about what I touch in my own house, and I don't have any one who understands what this is. How do I get her to just read this stuff or try it ? She resists simply because I so desperately want her to do something that will work. I know she is not pro medicine and her faith in God is strong but it's not practical for daily living. I don't want to see our first water bill. I'm afraid of how bad the hour long showers will be. I'm sorry if I offend here, today she told me she can't stay in the house I just got for us. She feels too bad to take her son to register for school so he spends all day and night on his phone. The school doesn't know his mom had an issue but it just looks bad. We are struggling in every imaginable way. I can't even afford therapy at this point to be honest but I need something. She had an earache and we sat outside the hospital for 3 hours until she felt comfortable to go inside. I can't tell anyone she has ocd or she feels betrayed. She has said at times she doesn't want to live or wishes she could sleep and never wake up. I think she has so many challenges and I'm I love her deeply and she feels i am not trying hard enough to follow her rules. I'm asking how do I get the horse to read about where she can drink water ???