- Username
- millie
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I have similair problem. I recently became obsessed with my data online. I deleted facebook and searched my friends profiles in fear I will find some inapropriate photos that could ruin my reputation. It's all part of OCD. The only thing we can to is to embrace the uncertainty and stop thinking about it. That is extremely hard because OCD makes you believe it is a life or death situation, and I still struggle with it, but it is the only way.
Yes this was the original reason I began seeing a therapist and it has been a shadow around me since. It has gotten better however - the more I work and become comfortable in a new job the less I worry about it. Finding old pictures of myself even in my own room is a huge trigger for me like what if someone took a screenshot when I had posted this/someone had posted it
This is so true. I hate that feeling so much. I lose so much time googling myself and buying background checks. But you are very right. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
Omg, that is exactly what I'm worried about too! I posted stupid photos, a little bit sexy or whatever when I was a teenager and that haunts me now. Just hearing a word facebook makes me want to vomit out of anxiety. I deleted facebook and then I started to think what if someone saved those cringy photos. It's something we can't control and to me it is absolutely TERRIFYNG. I hate this digital era. It makes me feel like I can't fully move on from my past cause it will always be online. It's so hard to accept the uncertainty about this, but that is the only thing we can do, and what is a bit comforting is the fact that we aren't that important. I doubt anyone was so obsessed with us that he/she actually saved our photos. People are mainly focused on themselves just like we are. I don't care about other people cringy old photos so I doubt they care about mine.
Exactly- my mom says this to me all the time and it helps. Still that feeling can be so haunting. If I can catch the feeling early before it gets too bad and breathe through it I can make it through. I remember telling friends about this feeling but they would kind of shrug it off like “yeah that would suck” but I felt like my feeling toward it was so debilitating. I also work in education so I feel like I have to be held to an extra high standard/role model
How do I stop worrying about being on camera or on the internet? I keep remembering embarrassing fights or a drunk night I had. I’m such a shy person sober and when I blacked out once I lashed out at an ex who was emotionally abusive at the time. All I remember is crying, shoving people, and outside I threw my heel, and was sitting on the floor crying and my hand was bleeding. It was all fuzzy. My ex made me feel horrible for months about it. The parking lot area where I threw my heel was empty and my friends that were there were also drunk and couldn’t remember details. My ex told me my thong was to the side and when I was on the floor in the parking lot everyone could see my private’s but my friends said they don’t remember that happening and he was known to exaggerate or lie, but I can’t help but obsess that I’m on some website or on YouTube because someone secretly caught my outburst and taped it. Happened a year ago and I’m so embarrassed. This also goes for any other embarrassing moment I’ve had I obsess Im on camera and posted somewhere.
I’ve become terrified of the internet and technology. My biggest obsession right now is that there’s sexual videos of me on porn sites or on the internet. All it takes is one bad guy to record me secretly and put me on there. I’ve never been blackmailed or anything and it can happen to anyone but I get an urge to check because the feeling is so strong that I’m on there. I will check key words on porn hub and I’ll be relieved for a second when I don’t find anything but then I think of other things to search and then I doubt if I saw correctly. I say “what if that was me and I just overlooked it?” And my initial obsession gets worse. I have the urge to check again and when I don’t I have it repeating in my mind that there’s a video out there of me.
Does anyone else struggle with being publicly shamed and cancelled for your mistakes in the future? It feels so intolerable for me and it’s my biggest fear. Does anyone have any advice?
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