ROCD and annoyance

I love my boyfriend so much! Sometimes though I get irritated with everything and anything he does. He won’t do anything bad, just make a joke, or laugh, and I get anxious, which I think is because I’m internally checking how I feel about him (completely unaware I’m even doing it), and then I get irritated. And it’s like I’m always irritated by anything he does. I feel it’s because my mind is rescreening how I feel and checking my emotions and whether “I love him enough” and that anxiety makes me anxious. Is this normal? Anyone else know what I’m talking about or have tips to help me?

Username: CM95CM95

Date posted: 2y ago

It was terrifying but I felt a weight lift of my shoulders when I was able to verbalise it out loud. He was kind and tried to understand. I reassured him that I love him and want to be with him and that I did not want the relationship to end. But it did get tough because I kept breaking down in front of him and he felt he was causing it. I reassured him it was all in my head - because it was and it is! He was patient and positive but didn’t understand because only you understand your experience. I continued to tell him when I was suffering but didn’t say what it was. He comforted me and remained positive. I stopped to continue sharing the specific thoughts about him because that created more anxiety for me. I was scared he would end the relationship because of my health and that he would think its what I wanted. I spoke to trusted family and friends about it instead. For weeks, our quality time consisted of sitting in front of the tv because thats all I could manage. So do what you can with your quality time with him because eventually you will build yourself back up again the more you face your fears. Write it all out, one day at a time. You are emotional right now and its going to take time! Do not feel awful because you are not your thoughts! You’re going through a human experience. Meditation and journaling has been my saving grace.

Username: jackiag862jackiag862

Date posted: 2y ago

@CM95 This is really helpful to me. I feel so terrible how I’ve been feeling about him. It’s killing me and I just beat myself up so much.

Username: CM95CM95

Date posted: 2y ago

@jackiag862 Glad I can help, you will feel better soon. This too shall pass ❤️

Username: ILikeMyself ILikeMyself

Date posted: 2y ago

I could have wrote this myself. You're not alone.

Username: CM95CM95

Date posted: 2y ago

I am going through the just now and it’s starting to get better. What I’ve found helpful is meditation and practicing daily gratitude, specifically writing positive things about our relationship. I promise it gets better but please don’t be hard on yourself!

Username: smyers02smyers02

Date posted: 2y ago

I have this now too, I’ve had bad rocd after a recent fight . Trying to work through it and not give in to the ruminations but like you said sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it. I don’t want to be around him since he is the trigger and I hate that and he is noticing my distance . I feel so mean towards him , and annoyed an irritated and I know it’s from the ocd thoughts as I wasn’t that way before the fight . Now I’m constantly checking the relationship and contemplating stay with him or not

Username: CM95CM95

Date posted: 2y ago

@smyers02 I promise you this gets better and this is exactly how I was feeling. I used to get excited to see my boyfriend and miss him when he wasn’t there - that quickly changed to dread and being triggered in his company. I explained to him the thoughts I was having and he was so kind. It was hard for him too to see me in such a bad way but open, honest communication goes a long way! Try and spend time with him like you usually would if its not too difficult for you. But also time to yourself. I found spending quality time together helpful and slowly got me back on track. Remember this too shall pass. Explain to him your needs, if you know what they are. And if you don’t have the answers yet, that is more than okay too! Do what is helpful for you! Hope this helps and take care.

Username: smyers02smyers02

Date posted: 2y ago

@CM95 Thank you so much for the healthy reassurance! How did the conversations go when you were honest and open? I fear those that he will take it personally as he already kind of has with the little I’ve shared. He said he is worried and it’s concerning that im making him out to be someone he isn’t in my head. I said I don’t want to but that’s part of this disorder and im working on it with my counselor. He has also said to me that it’s concerning that it’s taking me so long to get out of my head with it (it’s been weeks) , he says his anxiety might be an hour or so then go away. Before I had the rocd I had health Ocd from having covid and losing taste and smell so it’s been several months now of ocd flare ups with different themes. I know for someone who doesn’t have this that it’s hard to understand and you can’t make them. He has also said He just wants me to get back to myself and it hurts him to see me like this. He also said my anxiety is starting to cause him anxiety. I’m just not sure how to navigate this . Any tips would be helpful ! I feel awful about this

Username: smyers02smyers02

Date posted: 2y ago

@CM95 Thank you!! You are wonderful

Username: smyers02smyers02

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you so much for sharing, this is very helpful, you are a blessing !

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

Peeps with rocd, do you guys ever get thoughts/feelings of irritation of why does my partner love and cares for me so much and why does he wants to be with me. Or is it only me?

Username: Louise b

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

ROCD

I always wonder “what if I’m not attracted to my partner” “what if I still have feelings for other people” “what if I cheated on my partner” “what if my partner cheats on me” “what If my partner annoys me and I don’t actually want to be with him” and I’ll do this so much over and over that I get so worked up I’ll criticize him, over analyze him, feel as though I don’t like him. But then an hour later after I find relief ( from telling him, looking things up, talking to my sisters about it) I’ll be in love with him but I won’t fully feel it because I’ll just be thinking about how I just felt before and how bad it was or anticipate it again for the future. So I’m constantly ruining it for myself, and it hurts so bad because he’s so perfect for me and so kind to me and everything about our relationship is right but my mind tries to convince me of other things and it feels so real.

Relationship OCD

Username: Anonymous_co...

Date posted: 43w ago

ROCD? Please read 🙏

I’m so terrified that my feelings are not a product of ROCD and are actually real. They feel real, I think they are, and it makes me mad because I just want to be in a happy relationship but then I have a really real thought that picks apart every aspect of my partner: what he looks like, how he sounds, how he acts, how weird he is, his intelligence, his emotional state, etc. recently it’s been really sad because I feel critical towards him doing normal things like feeling exited, or trying to be funny, or making jokes, or even him being vulnerable and crying. I feel so judgemental and it feels so real, like that’s how I really feel, and maybe I do think he’s a little weird but I don’t want that to stop me from loving him. And I feel like it’s bad for be to think and feel all these things. I don’t want to let these thoughts take over my life and ruin all the growth that him and I have done together, but it honestly feel like that’s how I really feel some days, and idk if it’s ROCD.

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ROCD and annoyance

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