help

I have intrusive thoughts (no anxiety ) but not too much thoughts but very disturbing like it's stay almost 3 hours straight just down and up (not done compulsion ) feel very disturbed and i don't know what to do. Just feel irritating thoughts (harm thoughts and going to crazy ) If i have any other issue not ocd?

Hi, I just had a recent diagnosis of OCD. It’s crazy because I never considered it or thought that I had it. There have been some thoughts I look back on that make me wonder if it was OCD the whole time. It came to full fruition recently when I made a bad decision that cascaded into me worrying, and then led me to having these intense intrusive thoughts that I never thought I had. Can OCD magically manifest this intensely for some? I notice a lot of the stories here that people experience all the intrusive thoughts when they were younger. I keep looking back on previous times, making me think I had those same thoughts then. I can’t remember if they were genuine thoughts like I believed them, or if I knew they were bad thoughts and I just got over them. I feel like I am lying to myself every time I have the thoughts and that I’m a bad person because of it. I’m trying to not accept it. I have a few sessions in with my therapist introducing ERP but I wish I could get through this quicker. I feel disgusted with these thoughts and that I might be a bad person. Please help me understand and how to best handle this. Anyone have advice on how to be patient with yourself through this process?

So my therapist told me to start telling myself every time I have an intrusive thought just say oh there’s that thought again, and don’t try to figure it out or do mental compulsions. Well our usual tactic of “there’s that thought/feeling again” is not working at all this morning. This morning I was having really bad anxiety, it hits hardest in the morning when I am lying in bed with my son and I know the thoughts could come at any minute. Well they did, and I immediately was like no please just think of anything else. Well in pushing away the thoughts, I had this really weird feeling like I couldn’t decipher between reality and images. I was just getting flashes of images that felt so real. Even though I could physically feel my body and know I wasnt engaging in the thought or acting on it. It was like a flash of anxiety that hit and I couldn’t tell what was real and wasn’t. So of course my mind starts trying to figure that feeling out and if what I was thinking about just happened. And no matter how many times I’ve tried to say there’s that thought/feeling again, I can’t let it go. I was physically conscious and could feel my body but mentally I couldn’t. It’s so weird and hard to explain. But I’ve been doubting and second guessing that moment all morning and I’m in a bad spiral, again. 😭 it’s like every time I think I’m moving forward I get sucked back in and feel like I can’t practice my tools anymore. I don’t know what I should do 😩