morgan?
- Date posted
- 6y
Cat_attack Cat_attack
- Date posted
- 6y
This is heartbreaking and I understand 1000 percent what you’re going through. My grandma died a year ago. I loved her dearly. We used to be super close when I was younger. When she got older due to dementia and loss of people she loved she changed. My OCD made/makes me incredibly irritable and my patience incredibly thin. It’s hard for me to be around people for long periods of time, especially if they irritate me. Which she did since she was getting loopy and mean. When she was dying I felt like a part of me wanted it to just get over with. Then when she died it was the most devastating loss I have ever felt. I didn’t know it could hurt that bad, and I had lost people before. But within a month I felt like I was glad she was gone. I couldn’t even grieve properly because of the constant thoughts of “I’m glad she’s dead.” And now, I don’t even think about her Because I don’t want those thoughts to occur, but then this reinforces the thought that I don’t care because I’m not thinking about her. OCD is a bitch. Listen to me, ignore your brain right now, you don’t want her to die. I know it and you know it too. And some day you will realize that fully. However now, don’t try and push the thought away because that will only make it more angry (like I said OCD is a bitch) let the thought pass and think “okay that was a stupid thought oh well” don’t distance yourself from her at this time. Be with her so in the end you can say you did all you could do at this moment in your life. Wishing you love and your grandmother a peaceful passing. Philippians 1:21 For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. ?
colleen123colleen123
- Date posted
- 6y
Ocd makes you feel like you want stuff you don’t want , it’s weird but it’ll be alright , sending good thoughts to your grandma :/
morgan?morgan?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks sm?that really helped I’m sorry for your loss! I just don’t want her to go I just have this feeling inside of me that I know it is soon like their is this part of me that knows it’s coming in the next few weeks/days/months and I hate to think that because she has been their all my life and when I was younger I never really wanted to hang with her and now that when I got older I found respect for her I really truly don’t want her to go!
morgan?morgan?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you??
morgan?morgan?
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks ?
Cat_attack Cat_attack
- Date posted
- 6y
I understand that completely!
colleen123colleen123
- Date posted
- 6y
I wanna say it’ll be okay, but that’s reassurance :/ just know your not alone and ocd tries to trick you
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Anonymoususe...
- Date posted
- 21w
Prayer obsession meta ocd, completely confused
This is sort of a sub part of the religious OCD, but I have Meta OCD as well. My main fear is ocd driving me to do a horrible prayer. Unfortunately, one thing my mind does is prays for things I want constantly to prove that I can choose what I pray for. Some of these things include either my ocd to go away, people to be safe, or to die by being killed by a an animal or something when I’m running on the trial. The issue is with the being killed thing. I have prayed for all sorts of things I know are not going to happen. Unfortunately, one of them was almost world war 3. I’m not usually that kind of person. I read someone say they basically prayed for disaster every day on Reddit and people didn’t completely destroy them over it, so I thought “well I could pray for world war 3.” The issue is, if I were my normal calm self, I wouldn’t do that. All I would be thinking about is how I would die if it happened. I’m not sure if testing the prayers are somehow warping my actual values or if that’s an excuse I’m making for myself. When I’m running on the trail, I really wouldn’t want to be killed by an animal either, but I guess I mean it, cause I want to die. But I know it’s not going to happen. So I’m not sure if this is an ocd issue or not
andrea_sam730
- Date posted
- 14w
Guys I’m panicking right now
I’m so tired of having ocd I’m tired
Strezzy
- Date posted
- 9w
Existential OCD - anyone else relate?
My OCD has bounced around to a lot of different topics but my current spiral has been focused on existential dread - I have a lot of intrusive thoughts about my loved ones dying and not existing and about my own death and not existing anymore. OCD is trying to get me to find certainty in what happens after we die… and unfortunately I will NEVER be able to find certainty around this. This spiral started after the death of my beloved cat and then the almost death of my dog a week later. I think OCD attached to this idea that everyone and everything I love is going to die and I need to prepare myself for it and somehow KNOW what happens when someone dies. It’s panic inducing and really hard for me to sit with vs other OCD themes Ive had related to health, moral/hyper responsibility, etc. Anyone have this type of obsession around death of loved ones and how did you combat the intrusive thoughts and deal with the mental compulsions (rumination, avoidance, etc)?
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