- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
This is heartbreaking and I understand 1000 percent what you’re going through. My grandma died a year ago. I loved her dearly. We used to be super close when I was younger. When she got older due to dementia and loss of people she loved she changed. My OCD made/makes me incredibly irritable and my patience incredibly thin. It’s hard for me to be around people for long periods of time, especially if they irritate me. Which she did since she was getting loopy and mean. When she was dying I felt like a part of me wanted it to just get over with. Then when she died it was the most devastating loss I have ever felt. I didn’t know it could hurt that bad, and I had lost people before. But within a month I felt like I was glad she was gone. I couldn’t even grieve properly because of the constant thoughts of “I’m glad she’s dead.” And now, I don’t even think about her Because I don’t want those thoughts to occur, but then this reinforces the thought that I don’t care because I’m not thinking about her. OCD is a bitch. Listen to me, ignore your brain right now, you don’t want her to die. I know it and you know it too. And some day you will realize that fully. However now, don’t try and push the thought away because that will only make it more angry (like I said OCD is a bitch) let the thought pass and think “okay that was a stupid thought oh well” don’t distance yourself from her at this time. Be with her so in the end you can say you did all you could do at this moment in your life. Wishing you love and your grandmother a peaceful passing. Philippians 1:21 For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. ?
- Date posted
- 6y
Ocd makes you feel like you want stuff you don’t want , it’s weird but it’ll be alright , sending good thoughts to your grandma :/
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks sm?that really helped I’m sorry for your loss! I just don’t want her to go I just have this feeling inside of me that I know it is soon like their is this part of me that knows it’s coming in the next few weeks/days/months and I hate to think that because she has been their all my life and when I was younger I never really wanted to hang with her and now that when I got older I found respect for her I really truly don’t want her to go!
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you??
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks ?
- Date posted
- 6y
I understand that completely!
- Date posted
- 6y
I wanna say it’ll be okay, but that’s reassurance :/ just know your not alone and ocd tries to trick you
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I’m so tired of having ocd I’m tired
- Date posted
- 12w
hi yall im new here but not new to ocd. for as long as i remember ive had tendencies and ive had compulsions. when i was like 6 i remember counting my steps and that started this life long thing. i get looks in public because ive been touching each side of my face for the past 10 minutes because it “didn’t feel right”. about every one in my life knows i have severe ocd and that’s fine but my grandmother told my mom behind my back one night that i was ‘manipulating’ her and that my ocd could be fake. this is because i can’t take the trash out of the track can because i can’t risk getting sick from old food, i cant use cleaning products on my hands to clean them. i have no probably taking the trash out it’s just removing it from the bin. i can’t do the dishes because its not clean and ill have an anxiety attack because its just simply too overwhelming for my ocd. those aren’t the only things but the list is just too long to write out. but we don’t live with my grandmother anymore. when we did my ocd wasn’t as progressed as it is now and i was able to hide most of my compulsions and “rituals” (what i call them) in private, therefore she doesn’t see how much it can affect my every move. this happened a while ago but i keep thinking about it and i get in my head. when im really struggling it’s hard to not convince myself that i’ve been lying to myself and so many others for 18 years. all my compulsions and intrusive thoughts and the goddamn hallucinations i’ve had from ocd are in fact real but how can my own grandmother call me manipulative like i don’t get it truthfully. i cannot imagine a situation in which someone would go through the trouble of washing their hands 4 times, of blinking 16 times before shutting their phone off. rewriting a whole text to their boyfriend because i misspelt a word and so now the whole text is wrong or any other of these things i and SO MANY people who have ocd or ocd tendencies would go through the trouble because it is SO paralyzing. clearly i’m not going to explain myself to her because i don’t have that energy esspecially if she is going to ‘mhm’ me and then go again behind my back and tell my mom (who fully understands and has tendencies herself and knows i don’t make this stuff up) that im a manipulator.
- Date posted
- 12w
It’s been several days of feeling paralysed with fear and engaging in compulsions by reading so many NDEs. I don’t even know how people live their lives knowing they’re going to die one day. I’m gonna miss my family so much!!! I mean I’m not gonna know because I’ll be dead! I can’t even look at them without feeling sick. What’s the point of life if we all die? GOD!!! I literally can’t do anything! I’m so overwhelmed!
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