I have been struggling for only about 2 years

Do you ever feel as if you are the only one going through this particular OCD crap and it will never end? I can’t tell you all how many times I cried out to God exhaustively and emotionally to take this away. Yet He still hasn’t….. That is the reality of this struggle. Wanting “it” to die. I have a challenging combo of POCD, ROCD, and Somatic OCD. My particular issue is this…. I get a weird head pain and pressure in my head in which has been conditioned as a “spiritual problem.” The head pain and pressure at times is so excruciating that I CANT HELP BUT CONSTANTLY CHECK, ANALYZE, or desperately pray it to “go away.” No medial explanation for this issue. Yet it feels so real!?!?! How I have conditioned Jesus into misery and pain just doesn’t make any sense….. any time trying to read the Bible, pray, listen to sermons, go to church or even mention anything associated with Jesus triggers this head pain/pressure/annoyance…. Then I can’t stop analyzing why I am reacting this way and then question everything about faith, my relationship with Jesus…. Is it true? Am I really saved? Do I belong to God? How come scripture doesn’t bring peace or hope? Then the cycle continues and then I end up saying verbally…. ok I guess I don’t believe. I’m not saved. There is no such thing as Jesus…. Etc…. Then feel wrong and bad about that… ask Jesus to come back into my life but then the cycle starts up again…. Starts up first thing in the morning “every day!!!” Thus, I’ve created OCD Jesus and OCD God… Anyway….. the most difficult thing treating this is to do absolutely nothing…. Letting compulsions die and not ruminating…. Not give the “it” meaning is the goal….. Just sharing on here and if anyone wants to talk or has any advice tips I am open. I hope we can all get better and be healed. In Gods timing and grace is what I say….