Ocd journaling

I've got a smart watch that tracks my sleep. It gives data like heart rate, heart rate variability (HRV), respiratory rate, sleep cycles, restfullness, etc etc etc. Well, since the health OCD has gotten to its peak, I am noticing a false patterning coming from it. For context; I was sick 2 times in recent memory where sleeping heart rate and HRV became metrics that I could use to sort of track the illness. In the days leading up to it, I'd notice my heart rate going up and HRV going down (higher hrv is better.) Then when I was fully sick, my HRV would be up to 15ms less than normal. So now, when I look over my sleep data (because I like to look at data like that, it is interesting to me) and notice my HRV is lower than normal, it triggers intrusive thoughts of "am i getting sick again?" despite no other symptoms. Ruminating begins as I try to "figure out" the cause, despite knowing that stress can lower sleeping HRV. My question is; is it a compulsion to be looking at my sleep data? Should I avoid it altogether? Or is this exactly what ERP is; exposing myself to a triggering event and preventing the response? I look at the data either way and it is only alarming when I see something out of the ordinary. So, do I stop tracking my sleep, or is this a good small step for ERP?

I’m new to NOCD and just wanted to share my experience to see if anyone else can relate or has any thoughts or advice. My thing is needing a system or some kind of digitally saved reference (online article/notes app) to make decisions on how to live my life and spend my time- then I get super caught up in what is the objectively “right” system to have which never really leads anywhere- over the last 6+ years I’ve probably changed this system over 100 times because at some point I realized it wasn’t “right”. At best, I stick with a system for months and be pretty free from OCD but at worst I can go months where I only experience intermittent periods of living free from OCD and spend hours and hours putting my life on hold trying to figure out what the right system is or to answer and figure out impossible answers to completely subjective things. I get a lot of regret over all the time and life I’ve wasted in this cycle, and feel kinda like everything I’ve done in previous systems was “wrong” so I try to fix that by undoing some of those actions. I think part of the root of this is wanting to control so many parts of my life and the fact that there are other parts of life I could be experiencing, ways I could be improving, and that there is so much out there that I could never ever do or experience all of it leads me to try to figure out some system that gives me a better feeling of control over this. If anyone reads all this that’s awesome- lmk if this resonates with you at all

Just stumbled across this app/community. I've been struggling with just right or perfectionist OCD for several years. Im 47 and I've had a pretty successful life, ironically because of some of my OCD traits; attention to detail, organization, perseverance, etc. But about 4-5 years ago, without any specific trigger, I started noticing more... let's call them errors. Errors in just about everything. These errors led to compulsive behaviors to "fix" them. Place the can down again, "right" this time. That piece of trash didn't land "right" in my trash bin, take it out and do it again. But really it started happening because of me physically touching or manipulating things, or really anything that involved fine motor control. Picking things up/placing down, turning switches, knobs on/off, opening/closing doors, cupboards, cabinets, using a mouse, putting on and taking off clothes, brushing teeth/hair, drying my body after a shower, pressing buttons on my phone, buttons on my shirt, pants zippers, etc. I mean, you name it. I've never had the type of classical OCD where I obsessively washed bc I was worried about germs or intrusive thoughts about my family dying. I had anxiety about the compulsing itself, or specifically avoiding certain actions so I wouldn't start compulsing. So I was kind of lost for awhile. Then I'll never forget reading this article about just right OCD and getting tears in my eyes. It was a point of some validation that others had similar symptom clusters or patterns. Not that I'd wish these compulsions on anyone! I've started seeing a therapist and taking an SSRI. Don't really like the therapist and I don't really feel like the medication works. Plus I don't like the side effects. Night sweats and sexual side effects. But, I have had some moderate success with different types of mental tricks. Essentially some self taught ERP. Little mantras I use like "not down, but forward" as in stop slowing down and laser focusing on every step, every detail and move forward, physically and mentally. Remembering that compulsions come with the idea that they provide comfort or a good feeling, when in reality, moving through a chore or task without compulsions or repetitive behavior is f**king amazing. Remember and chase that feeling. Watching the uncomfortable feeling float away or specifically identifing that feeling where my mind wants to stop and restart a motion of or an action and ignoring it to "rewire" my thinking. And distraction. Distraction is a big one too. Those are a couple of things that have worked for me. Im by no means better... I still struggle every day. And it's exhausting. This disease makes me feel so stupid and it's embarrassing and frustrating. But I've had some glimmers of hope lately and i KNOW that i can overcome it. Get back to the ass kicker in life, and with my family, and in the gym, and at work, that i know is inside of me still. Anyway, I think typing some of my journey out has been helpful so thanks for reading.