ROCD partner focused

I know this sounds absolutely horrible, but does anyone else hyperfixate on their partner’s weight? Or other forms of physical appearance? I KNOW it’s my OCD because we’ve been together for 6 years and I used to not worry or care about this stuff. It’s the newest theme my OCD has picked up this past year. Like I’ll stress when I think he’s overeating or drinking too much (he only drinks 2 nights a week). I repeatedly sneak glances at his abdomen area. And sometimes I’ll look back at old pictures when he was a little more fit to remind myself that he is very handsome and that he COULD get back to that weight if he tried. I know this sounds horrible. I do NOT want to obsess over this, but I cannot seem to get it out of my head. 😔😖

Jigjon99

Date posted: 3y

Omg yes! 100% I have had numerous obsessions involving my partner over the years and currently I’m on their appearance. It sucks and makes me feel so guilty.

Beeleebop

Date posted: 3y

@Jigjon99 I am right there with you. Like I will like try to give hints that I want him to lose weight (I guess that is a compulsion). But he knows what I’m doing. And then when he says something about it, I feel guilty. But then the next day, I just do the same thing. I can’t stop.

Beth172

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

I also struggle with this!

tato.bato

Date posted: 3y

I understand and I do this too. Don’t feel alone. Part of it I know is because of my own insecurity and I am trying to work on my personal view of myself with weight because I know it relates to how I view him as well.

TyBee

Date posted: 8d

*Trigger warning** This is precisely what I’m going through and I’m so thankful you were brave enough to share this.. i saw your post and it was a few years ago but wanted to check in and see how you’re doing with this? I’m going through the same thing right now with my husband of 14 years. I have an eating disorder and feel scared to gain weight. Our physical relationship is higher now than it ever has been. My husband is 6’9” and healthy (i want to be sensitive when i say this but i only mean he’s around average weight for his height.) I have had obsessions over his weight and what his stomach looks like for a long time now. We have both fluctuated in weight over the years and when I was struggling with my weight he was sensitive towards me but he brought it up. I have noticed weight gain in him (or at least my OCD is telling me I have. It’s minimal change). But i can confidently say it doesn’t change anything. He is my everything we’ve been together for 14 years. We have seen and known everything about each other. But I had a flare up a couple of months ago when I looked at his stomach when he was leaning over, and the intrusive thought “fat” entered my mind. I panicked so badly and overcome with shame & guilt. Then the obsession began of where I was constantly checking if he was “fat”. When he would eat, I’d be wondering if it will make him “fat”. It’s like what my mind perceives at “fat” I guess? I would never speak that way or feel that way about him. I feel like an absolutely the asshole like you said. I constantly feel guilty that I’m the worst wife ever, that if i told him this he would leave me forever. OCD causes these images and flashes and runs crazy with them - showing me flashes of his stomach making me say which one is true, is his stomach more like this picture or this picture? I want to tell him I’m going through this… he knows about my struggles and is the most supportive person. Which also makes me feel like an asshole even more. Should I share this with him?

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