I’m ruminating about whether I should forgive myself. I go through the details of what happened in the past to see if I should forgive myself for a bad decision, but I still can’t decide whether I should forgive myself. What should I do?
I think we’ve all done a ton of things we can’t forgive ourselves for, but isn’t that how life works? We’ve done things that are bad or cruel or unforgivable, and we just need to choose to move on. OCD’s problem is that it refuses to let us. If we aren’t perfect, we’re stuck in the moment of our mistake. Don’t let it trick you into believing that’s okay. You deserve to move on, even if you can’t forgive yourself. When the thoughts and the hatred come, just let them in, and try not to interact with them.
@TPD this one is a small one, but ocd makes a big deal out of it, so is it still possible to forgive myself for it?
@DillonLee Well, that depends. You could likely forgive yourself for anything, and you yourself think it’s a small mistake. It sounds like you definitely could forgive yourself, but you’ll just have to work for it. OCD won’t let you, so you’ll have to fight it.
@TPD But you should remember it doesn’t matter if you forgive yourself or not. You can move on despite it.
@TPD I can still enjoy myself when I don’t think abt it, but sometimes my brain just reminds me of the bad decision I made, and I find it so hard to enjoy myself
@DillonLee I know what you mean. It happens to me too, where I’ll be out with my friends and having fun and it’ll all be ruined the second I remember what I did. But again, we just need to accept it. Sometimes we do bad things. Really bad things, even. What we have to do then is let those thoughts in and move on. It sounds so easy, but I know it’s hard. With practice, though, you’ll get it.
@TPD yea I just hate it when my enjoyment is ruined when I regret over a small thing but ocd makes it look like a big deal
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@Haleyg Move on without deciding whether to forgive myself?
@Haleyg whenever I feel that I’m enjoying myself, my brain will remind me of this bad decision and I will feel regret
I have made multiple mistakes in my past that lead me to believe im a bad person. thinking about them often sends me into a panic attack. i cant help but feel i need to be punished. i hate this feeling, what should i do?
Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?
Everyday I wake up, all my mind makes me think of is the stuff I’ve done in the past, like all day I’m in a constant cycle of judging who I used to be and it hurts so so much. I wish I never thought to do those things, I wish I had been more mature than how I was before, it’s really lowering my self worth and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this miserable before, like last summer was the worst because I was dealing with this shit, I about almost ended my life over it, and I thought it would get better, which it did, but it didn’t last but for a while. As soon as it became 2025 I was going through it again, having constant cycles of “I’m a good person” to “I’m the worst person imaginable” and I’m so sick of it because I just want to feel like the good person l like to imagine myself to be, but I can’t because of shit I did in the past that I obsess over. I’ve cried and screamed so much over it and it seems like it will never leave me.
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