The line between delusions and reality is too thin

I’ve been struggling with this so long I don’t even know what it would be like to NOT have ocd. I don’t know what it’s like for people to be able to just kick back and relax stress free, but o just got an ocd trip that seemed harmless at first, as it was over a ps5 game… but please hear me out. I got an intrusive that I wouldn’t be able to win the game and I lost. How am I supposed to get over this if it proves itself right? That kills any hope I had for the day every time.

MattK

Date posted: 2y

shit ngl idk. maybe you could try saying that you’re going to win and then lose. i’m kinda stuck on this one im sorry

Cody

Date posted: 2y

@MattK It’s okay, the game isn’t the problem for me. Rather ocd proving itself “right” and then me questioning “what else can these intrusive thoughts cause” I need therapy so bad but can’t get it

MattK

Date posted: 2y

@Cody that’s true. and why can’t you get therapy i feel bad.

Cody

Date posted: 2y

@MattK NOCD doesn’t take my insurance and I live on disability because of ocd. The very thing I need help with is causing me not to be able to make enough to get that help. I have God though brother, we’re getting through this✊🏻

Cody

Date posted: 2y

@MattK Some amazing people have recommended other things on here though, so I am getting help.. just not a therapist

MattK

Date posted: 2y

@Cody that’s tough. but yeah it’s nice to at least have a community of people and not just relying solely on a therapist. sorry i couldn’t really help out earlier i just didn’t really know an answer to that.

Cody

Date posted: 2y

@MattK No worries at all brother! You’re the only person that said anything.. I appreciate you💯

Cody

Date posted: 2y

@MattK Hey man, I just wanted to thank you too. You tackled this despite not even really knowing how, that’s bold. You’re bold brother🤙🏼💯

one step at ...

Date posted: 2y

Hi Cody, I’m sorry ur having a hard time today🙏 it sounds like ocd is trying to get you stuck. One idea is to not engage with the thought, let it pass on its own, dont try to figure it out. I know it can be hard, but it gets easier over time and you gain confidence. Practicing letting the uncertainty be there, saying, “maybe, maybe not” , that is a common phrase to say to combat compulsions, so not to engage with the ocd. Also practice mindfulness, being in the present moment and being kind to yourself. Go back to doing what you were doing before ocd tried to get u stuck with the intrusive thought. It takes practice and u can always get up again if ocd tries to trip you up. You are not alone, God has got your back.🤗🙏lay it down( the intrusive thoughts, worries / fears, what if questions)leave it in Gods hands, you don’t have to figure it out. Ocd wants to try to get you stuck in a cycle of what if and trying to figure it out. Praying for you friend, hang in there and keep leaning on God and reaching out for support and any resources you can utilize for free right now. He will keep guiding you and providing for you in his perfect time and way, all things are possible with him🙏💝

Cody

Date posted: 2y

@one step at a time😊🙏💝 Amen, amen, and amen!!! I always get so hyped when I see that you responded because you always have the most sound advice, and you did it again. Thank you so much friend!🫶🏼If you don’t mind me asking, is there anything in particular I could pray over your life right now?

one step at ...

Date posted: 2y

You are so kind, thanks Cody!😊 I always appreciate prayers for Gods wisdom, guidance, peace and strength 🙏💝 thanks so much!😊

Cody

Date posted: 2y

@one step at a time😊🙏💝 Then if I were you I’d start preparing for it :) praying now 🙏🏼 💯💯

Staleverse

Date posted: 24w

Magical thinking OCD with video games

I have a genuine fear of playing video games due to my magical thinking OCD. It’s driving me crazy. I get this overwhelming sense of anxiety when I play them. I have a correlation between video games and a health thing that started around the time I was playing video games a lot. Now I feel like every time I play a game it’s gonna cause that problem to come back. Any suggestions on how to conquer this?

Chibee

Date posted: 20w

Online gaming

I got harassed in an online game (marvel rivals for anyone curious) today bc I was “playing bad.” I think they realized I’m a female player too (my username makes it obvious) so it gave them more fuel to harass me. I kinda threw the match after all the rudeness. I obsess a LOT over what my teammates think of me, whether I play well, and one negative interaction and I’m spiraling for a long time. I reported the rude players but now I’m too afraid to play again. I feel OCD makes it really hard to play online bc i’m constantly obsessing over my errors and sometimes can’t enjoy the game at all. I also obsess over winning, and it becomes addictive in a way. Anyone else relate?

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

Feel lost and without hope

I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.

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The line between delusions and reality is too thin

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