How often do yall experience/is it common to experience back door spikes? I’ve been having a pretty rough couple weeks but the past two days have been alright. It seems like the moment I start to feel okay/remember a sense of normality I get suspicious of myself/was this even ocd/where did the anxiety go thoughts. Even if I feel good for just a few hours at a time.
What are back door spikes?
@Anonymous 99 It’s a type of denial obsession if I remember correctly, its when someone’s anxiety about unwanted thoughts becomes less severe, so they’ll begin to obsess over the question of whether or not they’re anxious/worried enough about the thoughts. (Anyone feel free to correct me if you need to)
@4bs1nthe_ Yep, that’s how I would describe it. Either naturally or as a result of exposures and resisting compulsions you might have a better moment, day, week etc and when you realize you’re not anxious about the thoughts, or if they’re not coming as often, your brain takes it as evidence of your fear. Like if you often test yourself with the thought of breaking up with a partner (in the case of ROCD) and it doesn’t bother you as much, you might get worried you were right all along, you don’t have rocd etc
I think I’m going through this currently. I had a peace of mind yesterday for the first time in forever and now I’m questioning myself again
@1996. I’m with you, we’ll get through this. I listened to a podcast yesterday that suggested using the same techniques we usually use for erp for this kind of “secondary” questioning
I usually go through bouts of this every couple of days or weeks depending on how I’m doing
@4bs1nthe_ Gotcha, okay. And how long does it last for you?
@anxiousmollusk On a decent day maybe 30 minutes to an hour, on worse days it can sometimes go on right up until I go to bed and wake up in the morning. As of recently its been 2-3 hour long phases.
@4bs1nthe_ Okay. Sorry to ask so many questions and thank you so much for sharing, I know everyone is different I’m just kind of getting used to applying these labels to what’s been happening for me. So do you find when the bout is over you go back to your main fear/worry or you make the effort to disengage and feel “better” again? I’m just trying to see if what I’m experiencing correlates lol
Yepp it’s last attempt to hold on when you feel better
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
Sometimes I notice my intrusive thoughts cause me to spiral and sometimes not. I've been practicing ERP for quite a while so it's a bit easier for me to not spiral. But I wonder why that happens. Does anyone else have it? Also I'm on medication idk if that plays a role.
Does anyone else ever feel like they don’t feel “bad enough” to have OCD, or that they don’t feel “the right way” for it? Or like they’re just saying they have OCD as an excuse? Because i was so much better for like 3 weeks now and now im on my period and i started doubting again. So because of that im scared that i was feeling to good and that my fear is actually true.
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