- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
When I was a kid I used to be like a tomboy and I liked to play with cars and stuff like that. I can’t imagine how it feels to feel like that and I’m sorry you feel like you weren’t meant to be a boy but God created you just the way you were supposed to be ? and also if I were you when these thoughts come I would sit and think on them and ask “ is this really how I feel or is it just ocd?” Because it might not even be how you feel it might just be ocd. I would recommend getting a therapist maybe and talking to her/ him about it and see what their opinion is and also maybe something easier to do would be when you have these thoughts make a list of all the good qualities about your gender and then see how you feel then. Ocd can really suck and I’m sorry you doubt your gender, it’s got to be tough and confusing.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you! These thoughts all started because of those stereotypes
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s not that I want to be a girl cuz I don’t even though my thoughts are basically trying to tell me I do. It’s more like I’m playing the victim to these gender role stereotypes. Like I said before, I’ve never hated my gender it’s more like I hate the stereotypes and what’s expected of me as a guy
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh yea I get what you mean on that ( sorry for not understanding ) I don’t like a lot of the stereotypes against girls. If that’s how you feel though you shouldn’t feel like you have to measure up to the stereotypes of being a guy because the world will tell you that you have to be like this or this is what’s expected of you but you don’t have to conform to the world. I would really recommend talking to a trusted family member or friend or therapist and ask what their opinion is.
- Date posted
- 6y
I do have a therapist but I can’t see him until early July. And I’ve been through this before too.
- Date posted
- 6y
How did you get past it before?
- Date posted
- 6y
It shifted to Homosexual OCD but then I got a girlfriend and that’s when it went away
- Date posted
- 6y
So when one ocd goes away a new one pops up or one that you haven’t had problems with in a while pops up again?
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes basically. Last summer these thoughts started around the exact same time. But it started with the transgender thoughts like I have now, then it shifted to homosexual thoughts around July and lasted for the rest of the summer. Then in Novemberish, I got into a relationship so I knew I wasn’t homosexual but then it shifted to harm ocd. But as I got even busier with school it all seemed to go away but now it’s coming back again
- Date posted
- 6y
Hey Ben! I’m a fellow gender OCD sufferer. And it seems we’ve both recovered from sexuality OCD in the past. I’m sure with your HOCD you remember doing this same sort of looking back into your past and weighing things compulsions, right? Sexuality and gender are both on a spectrum and the stereotypes and expectations you more describing are EXACTLY what cause these stupid themes to begin with: we get in our heads what we didn’t perform/feel our roles juuuuuust right and now we have to spiral into never ending questions to find 100% certainty. But I’m sure you also remember that going back into your past for clues never really fixed anything, right? It won’t in this case either. Since you’ve been through this before, you know what to do: list out your triggers, purposely expose yourself to them, and sit with the anxiety without performing compulsions until the thoughts stop producing anxiety or mattering to you anymore. Glad to hear you’ll be seeing a therapist soon. You’ve been here before, you can do it again. Good luck!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
- Date posted
- 11w
trigger warning!!!!!! I’m really scared right now. I’ve been reading Elle Warren’s articles about her experience with HOCD/SO-OCD, and it feels so similar to mine. She went through the same fears of being a lesbian, felt distressed by her attraction to women, and spent hours ruminating, Googling, and analyzing her feelings. She even experienced groinal responses and revisited old memories, just like I do. Eventually, she had a moment of realization in college when she flirted with a girl, and everything clicked. She now identifies as a lesbian. I’m terrified that the same thing will happen to me. I thought the OCD fears were supposed to never be true and that HOCD thoughts are usually just compulsions that don’t end up being real. But reading her story, it’s like I’m seeing my own experience mirrored. What if it clicks for me, just like it did for her? What if I realize that I am a lesbian? Elle’s story makes me so scared. I thought my feelings of attraction to women were just OCD-driven, and now I’m questioning everything. I thought I was straight, but now, reading her journey, I’m wondering: could my OCD fears actually be real? Elle’s experience was very similar to mine: • She got distressed when she thought she might like women, not relieved. • She spent a lot of time ruminating, Googling, analyzing, and comparing. • Her attraction to women only became intense when her OCD flared up. • She said things like, “I feel peace when I believe I’m straight.” • She had already been diagnosed with OCD and had a history of this pattern. After years of fear and distress, Elle had a moment of calm and realized that it was true. I’m scared that this could happen to me too. Will I have a similar moment of acceptance, where everything clicks and I realize I’m gay? Or will I come to accept that this is all OCD, and that I’m straight, with the possibility that I’m not? I also keep thinking back to when my OCD lessened the first time. Did I go back to men because I wasn’t actually attracted to women, or was it just because the grip of the OCD had loosened? Elle also talked about the shame associated with non-heterosexuality. She mentioned that, like many of us, she had internalized stigma around being gay, and that it made her fear the possibility of being non-heterosexual. I can relate to this so much—growing up, I never saw it as an option to be anything other than straight, and now it’s hard to shake that fear and shame. Elle mentioned that she found reassurance in seeing other people with HOCD who worried that their fears would come true, but eventually realized they were just OCD thoughts. That idea is comforting, but also a little scary, because what if that moment of realization happens for me too? What if I finally accept that I am a lesbian? Or, what if I’m just struggling with OCD and eventually realize I’m straight? I just don’t know. The scariest part is that, just like Elle, I feel like I don’t have any obvious signs. She had no idea she was a lesbian until one day, everything clicked. She was 21, just like me when my OCD fears really flared up, and she had a breakthrough moment in Denver when she made friends with lesbians. That hasn’t happened for me yet, and it’s terrifying to think that it could happen in the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m really scared about where this will lead.
- Date posted
- 11w
Im a straight man and sometimes I make the mistake of compulsively getting on here. It’s gotten better but I slip sometimes. I feel like I’m alone in this and I even read on some OCD page that Women are more likely to suffer from this theme than Men. That just makes me feel like I’m in denial of some sort. I feel alone and feel like my intrusive thoughts are different. I know that’s what everyone who has ocd thinks, but I can’t help shake the feeling like what if I’m lying to myself or what if I have some underlying secret. I don’t want to be gay. I find I argue with myself in my head over and over and sometimes by repeating “I don’t want to be gay, I want to be straight” I’ll end up saying the opposite and that would scare me even though I know that It happened because I’m constantly fighting with OCD. Just feeling a bit down today. I had a sexual dream about an ex girlfriend and it felt great and I’m not scared by it. I find and want to be with Women romantically til forever.
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