- Date posted
- 2y
Rocd
Has anyone even happily had a relationship with their gf/boyf after having rocd with them
Has anyone even happily had a relationship with their gf/boyf after having rocd with them
Yes! I’m happily married to mine now 💕. There’s hope. You can get through this
@r.m.1 There’s no romance due to rocd made me avoid kissing being romantic she took on a more caring side role due to having to help me with my thoughts towards her I used to avoid looking at girls but after theapry I can look at them and get such an intense overwhelming sexual feeling for them but not for my gf it makes me think I’m better of single
Me! Don't give up, it will take time but remind yourself what you're fighting for. OCD loves to latch on to the things we value the most, but we don't have to let it stay there. Give yourself grace as you work through this and practice stopping OCD thoughts in their tracks. If it gives you anxiety and you have the immediate urge to "fix" it somehow, it's likely your OCD trying to creep up on you.
@ Facts I have hope!
I have. I’m very happy, but it took a while to get over
I've dealt with having ROCD many times to the point where I would cry because I knew it was sabotaging my relationships. It wasn't until I was up front and honest with my now wife of seven years about my OCD that I was able to get past it. Sure we have ups and downs but we still love each other so much. So be honest about it and if the person cares they will stick by you. Talking openly about it is a big first step. If they can't stick by you then you need to do what you think is best for yourself. Best of luck.
@Anonymous I have been honest with my gf abit too honest (talking her my thoughts ) which has lead her to be upset a lot, she has been amazing very understanding and got me therapy which helped a lot I rarely find myself struggling with ocd but now I’m struggling with our relationship due to all the trauma and me avoiding romance ,kissing ect it’s left us feeling weird like the spark is gone we can go weeks/months without kissing I don’t feel content. Went swimming on her bd and I used to not be able to look at girls for over a year would almost cause car crashes avoiding looking at other girls due to rocd being around loyalty but I had such strong urges to really check the girls out and had such overwhelming sexual desires towards them which I don’t get towards my gf which makes me think I’m better off single
Yes, I have been able to enjoy my partner after working through ROCD. As long as they are understanding and supportive throughout the journey. It makes it a bit easier to get back to where you want to be again.
Yup, my girlfriend and I are about to hit 3 years. You can totally be happy and healthy with any type of OCD. It’s just communion is key and an understanding partner is even better. Patience and kindness always
Absolutely!
i go through periods of rocd but me and my boyfriend are still going strong ❤️
Of course.
Yes!
I just had a partner and wanted to leave because of ROCD. But it's nice to see people who have a good relationship here!
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, however if you are living with Relationship OCD (ROCD) this can be a very triggering day. Relationship OCD is essentially, the fear of being in the wrong relationship, not truly loving your partner, or not being loved by your partner. This makes you doubt the true nature of your relationship and makes you believe that your entire relationship is based on lies. It can make you feel like a bad person and not worthy of love. ROCD will make you believe that you need to leave the relationship just to find some peace. When we think about ROCD we often think that this only applies to romantic relationships, however ROCD can impact friendships and family relationships as well. ROCD will attack whatever relationship is most important to you. As an ERP therapist some of the most common obsessions that I have seen include “Is my partner ‘The One’”? “Maybe I am meant to be with someone else”. “What if my partner cheats on me or worse I cheat on him/her”? “I find X attractive. Should I break up with my partner and be with X”? “Do I even love my partner? What if they don’t love me?” This list could go on and on. The basis of all of these intrusive thoughts is fear and doubt. The compulsions associated with ROCD are vast. The most common include checking feelings to make sure you really love your partner, avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking behaviors both from your partner and from others and ruminating on the relationship in the hopes of figuring out if this is the “right” relationship for you. ROCD, as in most theses in OCD, wants 100% uncertainty that this relationship will work out with no conflict or compromise. The problem is this is unrealistic. All relationships will have some level of conflict and compromise in them. There is no “perfect relationship”. Most of us have grown up with fairy tales where one true love will come and sweep up off our feet. Life and relationships can be messy and complicated, but they are worth it and are a key aspect of what makes us human. The fact is ROCD makes you doubt everything and will take the joy, excitement and contentment out of the relationship. The good news is that treatment is available, and it is possible to have a long, happy, fulfilling relationship despite ROCD fears. It does take time, perseverance and patience. Treatment using Exposure Response Prevention has been proven to lessen intrusive thoughts. You will learn to manage your expectations of the relationships while leaning into your fears and learning to accept the uncomfortable feelings. By doing this, you can bring joy and contentment back into you life and your relationships. I'd love to hear about how ROCD is showing up for you. Share your experiences in the comments below or ask your questions about ROCD and I will respond to them.
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