- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Do you have family and friends close by who can help support you, not just emotionally but financially? At least for a little while as you start rebuilding your life?
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m 26 and live with my parents and grandma. We lost a lot of money after I went to college and they are paying my debts right now as well so we are even struggling to get food money for groceries. Our relatives left us out of inheritance so no one else can help. My parents sold a car so my dad is using mine. I’m pretty much stranded at home.
- Date posted
- 6y
At least you have a roof over your head and loved ones close by! That’s a tough situation, but I’m glad to hear you have that.
- Date posted
- 6y
I have friends who hang out sometimes and ones I can call as well. I just can’t help but feel so violated. I feel like I’m looking at a stranger now not my boyfriend of almost a year. Sorry for the details, he would even ask me to get naked on Skype and masturbate for him. Now that I know he’s such a liar and horrible guy who used to seek revenge against me in fights, I’m terrified that I was so vulnerable with him and my body. Again my OCD is kicking in with the fear of being blackmailed or something bad. I’m scared of the man I used to trust and love.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. That’s a very normal and understandable reaction.
- Date posted
- 6y
I found his ex girlfriend that he lied about. He said she was a flight attendant. She said she found out he was married and chased her everyday after that. He told her today I was just a rebound and he loves her. He messaged me and told me he will give a friend my stuff but he threatened me and said to stop trying to contact him and that if I want war he will start. The ex said he is a real psychopath. He twisted it around and said he tried so many times to break up but I didn’t listen. Instead of actually breaking up he kept going and still professed his love. He is sick and doesn’t want to be alone. He told me once when angry he wish I was dead. Even though he’s a foreigner in another country I have fears now he will retaliate and try and stalk me one day like he is with the other ex girlfriend. I haven’t slept or eaten in days and I just threw up in the bathroom
- Date posted
- 6y
You should definitely stop contacting him. A clean break is important for your safety and mental health. Focus on grieving what’s been lost and sitting with all of the bad feelings that are coming up because of this. You gotta feel then to get through then and heal. This is probably going to hurt for awhile. But one day you’ll wake up and realize it hurts a little less. And the next a little less. And eventually this will all feel like a far off dream of the past.
- Date posted
- 6y
Them* not then
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes I am trying I just can’t help but feel so violated. His final texts to me about giving my friend my leftover stuff to ship to me was cold and he didn’t give me any closure. He turned it around on me and said he let me go a long time ago and told me to break up 20 times but I didn’t listen. It’s as if he thinks his behavior is normal. And to think he was stalking his ex up until today is so frightening to me. He was acting obsessed with me until I lashed out at him and broke his fantasy. Giving him my body and letting him video me sexually (not sure if he has anything with my face but he would have me strip and do things on Skype) makes me want to throw up now. He warned me in final messages don’t keep messaging people and pushing him because if I want war he’s ready. Everyone says he is weak and is just all words but my ocd kicks in thinking he will use media against me or ruin my life. I think other worst case scenarios like he will come to US and kill me one day for ruining his life. He also lied about his age. He told me he is 32 but he is 38 and his passport says 42. He’s one big lie. I was so down I confessed to my mom about his sexual fetishes with me and videos and I am so embarrassed but couldn’t hold the ocd urge because I am so distraught. The ex wants to go to the police and asked if she can use my name to help her case and I was going to say yes but my mom scared me and said she doesn’t want me getting in trouble with an overseas government.
- Date posted
- 6y
If you’re going to get involved in a legal case overseas, speak to a lawyer first. But don’t contact him. At all. He will not give you closure. He will give you more lies and pain. Of that I am certain. Lean on your mom and resist any urge to reach out to him for any reason. I totally understand every reason you’d want to. But you still need to resist it.
- Date posted
- 6y
I decided not to get involved since he’s stalking the other ex for so long and is done with me. I had just wanted to help her out. There doesn’t seem to be rights for women in these situation in the Middle East. After the last interaction this morning he has been blocked and he blocked me for good. But the more I learn about the psychology of such individuals my ocd really kicks in and assumes the worst to happen. I’m looking at my once boyfriend as a complete psychopath or narcissist capable of anything because he was a pathological liar. He knew about my ocd and fears of being blackmailed and took complete advantage of me.
- Date posted
- 6y
I understand this to a VERY SMALL extent. I was once seeing someone who was great and everything was going well. We were only together a month maybe a little more. When all of a sudden he stopped texting and wouldn’t answer my calls. Then see on Facebook about 3 weeks after we “ended things” that he got engaged. Obviously they were together when I was with him. I didn’t have the strength like you did to say something. I felt stupid because I mean I wasn’t even with him long and all of it happened so fast and I just felt dumb. But it was a great thing because it made me more aware of shit heads like all the previous people I was with and now I’m with someone great. And you will be too one day!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I dislike being neurodivergent ☹️🥀. Why do people keep exploiting my vulnerable points. He lied to me but he said he would never lie to me and I don't tell lies and never lied to him + he exploited me sexually, financially, mentally and emotionally (I can't bring myself to write everything because I can barely comprehend how he could do that to me). He told me he never liked me and was manipulating me prove I'm stupid and autistic. He didn't tell me since, he lied he loved me. This happened on Monday and I haven't been able to put it into words fully or tell someone. He coerced me to send nudes, money. I said no but he coerced me over and over and I knew I could have refused but he coerced me over and over. I'm 17 turning 18 and he's 20. He said he never liked me and was playing with my head because he guessed I wouldn't be able to tell especially because I'm autistic. This is not the first time I'm being emotionally abused and more than because I'm neurodivergent. I'm just on my bed stimming with my feet while tears drop from my right eye. Another day that makes me wish I was better are reading social cues. I don't even know how to tell people because they could blame me😭. I'm devastated, I loved him and still do. He's a predator.
- Date posted
- 24w
Hi I’ve never posted before but I need to talk with other people that have this too because it’s hard to explain to other people without ocd. I was in a relationship for awhile and we started dating before either of us knew I had ocd. Anyway I have a really bad episode of it that led me to go get on medication and got into therapy. My ocd can have some really taboo themes and thoughts which I have learned is just what comes with the illness. The problem though is when I was really struggling one of my compulsions was confessing and reassurance seeking specifically to the guy I was dating because I trusted him. We both knew at this point that I had ocd and it affected many parts of our relationship particularly our intimacy which he made me feel bad about. He started calling me crazy, just joking, but still. Eventually I start feeling better and we start being intimate again and the day after he breaks up with me. About a month later after I hear he went on a date with another girl (we live together) he tells me he couldn’t be intimate with me because of my intrusive thoughts. We still live together with 2 other roommates so I still see him everyday. We try to be cordial with each other. I still have my moments though I’m still dealing with my ocd and a breakup seemingly caused by it and I cry a lot. Some months go by and he’s dating this other girl and I end up making out with one of my other roommates. I have no idea if my ex knew but the next day when it was only me in the house he starts screaming “THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS” and starts slamming shit. I tell my roommate about this and he and I are both kind of scared of him. He started acting really cold to us after. Then the night before my graduation my two roommates moved out so it’s just me and my ex in the house. In the middle of the night he comes downstairs and in front of my door calls me a horrible name relating to my intrusive thoughts. I open the door and say fuck you and he says you took my fucking friends. I said I didn’t take shit from you and he says yeah and goes upstairs and screams BINGO for some reason. He did it in the middle of the night when we were alone and I had no one to talk to or go to. He blames me because a lot of our friends sided with me in the breakup because they knew what I was going through. He had told me that I could never speak if my intrusive thoughts to anyone including my therapist (I did don’t worry) but he had made me feel so ashamed more than I was already. Also the next day he left a mess for me to clean up since I was the last one to move out. I’m coming to terms with the fact that on top of this awful experience with ocd that I may have been emotionally abused as well.
- Date posted
- 19w
My husband told me recently he was going to hang out with a local friend he often goes to see. It got very late and I heard nothing from him. Tried calling and texting. Stayed up all night thinking maybe he was dead or injured. Logged into our cell phone account to see if I could find any recent location and discovered he had talked to someone on the phone that night but he was like 2 hours away from home at that time. And also saw a phone number he was spending hours on the phone with every day. I had been confronting him about his secrecy prior to that and he kept telling me it was this friend or that friend, or he was just taking the dog on a long walk or having a fire out back. He finally called me back in the morning and I yelled at him. He told me he was randomly with two friends from longer ago and had gotten drunk and passed out, and hadn't told me about these plans because I had a heart surgery a few weeks prior and health concerns and he didn't want to stress me out. He told me the phone number was a girl that he related to on trauma factors and that he views like a little sister. He said he didn't tell me because he was caught up in his trauma spilling of events he didn't share with a single person since they occurred to him 35 years ago, due to feelings of shame and anger, and that he thought I would view it as emotional cheating. I told him it really could be viewed as emotional cheating and in principle, honesty shouldn't be dependent upon the outcome... lying isn't justified because I would be upset by the truth. Since then, he's been more open with me and tells me when that girl is calling, talks to me about their conversations, answers her calls when I'm present. I talked to him about boundaries and things I'm uncomfortable with or bothered by and he changes those things. Especially because I have trauma from an emotionally abusive ex, having him lie to me when I directly questioned him about what I was perceiving or experiencing and telling me those experiences weren't real, when they actually WERE real, has really messed me up. Now when he wants to hang out with a friend, I don't trust it. But I'm handling these feelings in destructive OCD ways. I spend literally the entire time he's gone thinking and thinking and thinking about what if he's lying or what he might be doing instead of what he said. I call and text him intermittently and feel like all of my obsessive thoughts are confirmed if he doesn't answer right away. I'm always checking the phone history. The driving toll history. Scrutinizing everything. I cannot get out of this mindset. It's like this horrible mixture of emotional flashbacks and OCD. I don't want to live like this. I want to work on my relationship in productive ways. I want to be able to use my own time while my husband is gone. Even if he lied to me and is somewhere other than he said, I don't want to lie in bed just thinking and thinking and thinking for entire days and nights. I'm not sure what I'm really asking here. This is just the only place where I feel like I can share this without people thinking "wow she's crazy".
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