After finding out my boyfriend is married for the past 12 years and has 2 kids, I haven’t been eating or sleeping. My entire world just crumbled down. He was a pathological liar who professed deep love to me and wanted to marry me. Over time he became emotionally abusive and psychologically manipulated me where I was obedient to him and was isolated (we were expats in Dubai and when I lost my job I moved to his company accomodation in the outskirts where it is conservative and isolated). I had a mental breakdown which he reacted to with more abuse and sent me home to America temporarily, promising the space will fix our issues and he Skyped me up until a few weeks ago professing his love and doing sexy Skype calls. Randomly he lashed out and said he needs space and he resents me for the past fights. One day I made a new Facebook account to see if he lied about having a Facebook and he lied. He denied it all even when I found his wife’s Facebook. He said she was just s friend. When he realized I got him he then said he doesn’t love me anymore and has someone else. I was manipulated so much I thought he was lying to push me away. Then I found pics of his kids and showed him. He blocked me. After everything I don’t even get an explanation. I messaged his wife and she is divorcing him. After all that social isolation and psychological manipulation I’m back home still looking for work and broke and I think I’ve lost my mind.

I dislike being neurodivergent ☹️🥀. Why do people keep exploiting my vulnerable points. He lied to me but he said he would never lie to me and I don't tell lies and never lied to him + he exploited me sexually, financially, mentally and emotionally (I can't bring myself to write everything because I can barely comprehend how he could do that to me). He told me he never liked me and was manipulating me prove I'm stupid and autistic. He didn't tell me since, he lied he loved me. This happened on Monday and I haven't been able to put it into words fully or tell someone. He coerced me to send nudes, money. I said no but he coerced me over and over and I knew I could have refused but he coerced me over and over. I'm 17 turning 18 and he's 20. He said he never liked me and was playing with my head because he guessed I wouldn't be able to tell especially because I'm autistic. This is not the first time I'm being emotionally abused and more than because I'm neurodivergent. I'm just on my bed stimming with my feet while tears drop from my right eye. Another day that makes me wish I was better are reading social cues. I don't even know how to tell people because they could blame me😭. I'm devastated, I loved him and still do. He's a predator.

Hi I’ve never posted before but I need to talk with other people that have this too because it’s hard to explain to other people without ocd. I was in a relationship for awhile and we started dating before either of us knew I had ocd. Anyway I have a really bad episode of it that led me to go get on medication and got into therapy. My ocd can have some really taboo themes and thoughts which I have learned is just what comes with the illness. The problem though is when I was really struggling one of my compulsions was confessing and reassurance seeking specifically to the guy I was dating because I trusted him. We both knew at this point that I had ocd and it affected many parts of our relationship particularly our intimacy which he made me feel bad about. He started calling me crazy, just joking, but still. Eventually I start feeling better and we start being intimate again and the day after he breaks up with me. About a month later after I hear he went on a date with another girl (we live together) he tells me he couldn’t be intimate with me because of my intrusive thoughts. We still live together with 2 other roommates so I still see him everyday. We try to be cordial with each other. I still have my moments though I’m still dealing with my ocd and a breakup seemingly caused by it and I cry a lot. Some months go by and he’s dating this other girl and I end up making out with one of my other roommates. I have no idea if my ex knew but the next day when it was only me in the house he starts screaming “THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS” and starts slamming shit. I tell my roommate about this and he and I are both kind of scared of him. He started acting really cold to us after. Then the night before my graduation my two roommates moved out so it’s just me and my ex in the house. In the middle of the night he comes downstairs and in front of my door calls me a horrible name relating to my intrusive thoughts. I open the door and say fuck you and he says you took my fucking friends. I said I didn’t take shit from you and he says yeah and goes upstairs and screams BINGO for some reason. He did it in the middle of the night when we were alone and I had no one to talk to or go to. He blames me because a lot of our friends sided with me in the breakup because they knew what I was going through. He had told me that I could never speak if my intrusive thoughts to anyone including my therapist (I did don’t worry) but he had made me feel so ashamed more than I was already. Also the next day he left a mess for me to clean up since I was the last one to move out. I’m coming to terms with the fact that on top of this awful experience with ocd that I may have been emotionally abused as well.

My husband told me recently he was going to hang out with a local friend he often goes to see. It got very late and I heard nothing from him. Tried calling and texting. Stayed up all night thinking maybe he was dead or injured. Logged into our cell phone account to see if I could find any recent location and discovered he had talked to someone on the phone that night but he was like 2 hours away from home at that time. And also saw a phone number he was spending hours on the phone with every day. I had been confronting him about his secrecy prior to that and he kept telling me it was this friend or that friend, or he was just taking the dog on a long walk or having a fire out back. He finally called me back in the morning and I yelled at him. He told me he was randomly with two friends from longer ago and had gotten drunk and passed out, and hadn't told me about these plans because I had a heart surgery a few weeks prior and health concerns and he didn't want to stress me out. He told me the phone number was a girl that he related to on trauma factors and that he views like a little sister. He said he didn't tell me because he was caught up in his trauma spilling of events he didn't share with a single person since they occurred to him 35 years ago, due to feelings of shame and anger, and that he thought I would view it as emotional cheating. I told him it really could be viewed as emotional cheating and in principle, honesty shouldn't be dependent upon the outcome... lying isn't justified because I would be upset by the truth. Since then, he's been more open with me and tells me when that girl is calling, talks to me about their conversations, answers her calls when I'm present. I talked to him about boundaries and things I'm uncomfortable with or bothered by and he changes those things. Especially because I have trauma from an emotionally abusive ex, having him lie to me when I directly questioned him about what I was perceiving or experiencing and telling me those experiences weren't real, when they actually WERE real, has really messed me up. Now when he wants to hang out with a friend, I don't trust it. But I'm handling these feelings in destructive OCD ways. I spend literally the entire time he's gone thinking and thinking and thinking about what if he's lying or what he might be doing instead of what he said. I call and text him intermittently and feel like all of my obsessive thoughts are confirmed if he doesn't answer right away. I'm always checking the phone history. The driving toll history. Scrutinizing everything. I cannot get out of this mindset. It's like this horrible mixture of emotional flashbacks and OCD. I don't want to live like this. I want to work on my relationship in productive ways. I want to be able to use my own time while my husband is gone. Even if he lied to me and is somewhere other than he said, I don't want to lie in bed just thinking and thinking and thinking for entire days and nights. I'm not sure what I'm really asking here. This is just the only place where I feel like I can share this without people thinking "wow she's crazy".