Cliché, but Meditate. If I could go back, I would have meditated every single day. Whether for 5 mins or 2 hours, everyday consistently. Don’t think about end results, just do. Thats all I can say, it is something that just has to be experienced, and once it pays off, you will understand why I told you.
Have you noticed somatic ocd to cause meditation to be more difficult? I would love to meditate, however I’m frightened by the fact that I might focus too much on my body’s sensations
@Shelbi22222 Yes! My main ocd fear was I was going to not make it to the bathroom so I know all about these fears, as I was hyperfocused on any body movement. The best thing here is just to try anyway, there is no wrong way to meditate. Watch your breathe, if you wander off then gently come back. Many people believe if they can’t focus they are doing it wrong… there is no wrong with meditation and letting this go is so so powerful. Try insight timer, it is a great app, I recently just hit a 24 hr milestone and it felt amazing. You can do this, I believe in you!
What’s your opinion on headspace?
@The names Adelbert Rarely have used it but I did use the sleep meditation feature as I would awake often at night and it would help me to fall back asleep!
Yeah, I can empathize with that hopeless feeling. I kept going back to it over and over again for years despite how bad it was making me feel expecting something different to eventually occur. Meditation is often seen as a panacea and feel good practice, but it’s not. Meditation is a very serious practice that will initially feel great but will eventually put you face to face with any of the suffering that is buried in the mind. People With trauma will be revisted by the trauma which will either be cathartic or retraumatizing. I’ve seen it unfold for a number of people like that and it’s both powerful and debilitating. My suggestion would be precisely what my NOCD therapist told me. “There’s nothing that says you have to meditate” <<< that was one of the most simple and always right there waiting to be discovered statements. That’s freedom for the moment. Everyone here is learning to live with uncertainty. Maybe I’ll meditate again, maybe I won’t. For now, it’s just like this. 🙏
Hey I respect you coming here to address these issues, but I feel that some might get the interpretation that meditation is bad! Meditation is very helpful for a lot of people, and my message and most others is that they should always try it as it is scientifically proven to help releave stress and anxeity. I think its important that people realize this and that it is a supplement that can aid you in recovery, not a full on fix. And as for the anxeity from meditation, this is what the fight against ocd is about. Its about confronting your anxeity and living with it, instead of in spite of it. Avoidance is a form of compulsion, you avoid anxiety. If meditation brings you anxeity, you should try to do erp around it, not avoid it.
I wanted to return here as you deserve a more well thought out comment and apologies in advance for the lack of brevity. Your original post mirrors my early experience and enthusiasm for meditation completely and I fully understand and appreciate that. When I first began a consistent practice, my whole world changed. I found a knowledgeable Zen teacher, warm-hearted community, and I wanted everyone to experience the benefits of meditation. For years I practiced without any major issues until the switch flipped. Indeed, I leaned into the various difficulties that I encountered for many years until the more severe aspects began to manifest consistently and the quality of my life diminished significantly as a result, forcing me to take an extended break which is still ongoing. It would seem best to say that meditation is neither good nor bad and, in some circles, it is generally viewed as a goalless practice. Indeed, there are benefits to meditation, some of which include stress reduction, reduced anxiety, improved focus, deep insight etc. There are also the negative experiences that can arise from meditation including relaxation induced panic and increased anxiety/depression, changes in sense of self leading to states of dissociation and derealization, hallucinations and perceptual hypersensitivity, loss of agency, anhedonia, and sometimes psychosis. Some people will only experience the positive outcomes, some will encounter certain challenges in their practice and continue without issue, and then there are the unfortunate ones who will be severely impacted to such a degree that they become incapable of functioning normally in their day-to-day affairs for extended periods of time. No one ever thinks they’ll be a part of that last group until it occurs. I certainly didn’t and, well, it happened. The use of apps like Headspace and Calm has resulted in these issues for some users and Cheetah House hears from them on a weekly basis. There is peer reviewed science on both sides of the equation and I’d strongly encourage people to become familiarized with both including the symptoms, personal experiences, and Cheetah House support that is available if needed. Resources https://www.cheetahhouse.org/resources Symptoms https://www.cheetahhouse.org/symptoms-1 Stories https://www.cheetahhouse.org/stories In addition, I think that you will find Dr Britton’s words regarding her research and experiences in this podcast to be compelling and will help to clarify all that I am expressing here. One of the most intriguing points that she makes is that studies have indicated that meditation can prevent habituation. I’ve been looking into some of these studies which indicate that moderate amounts of meditation have a positive effect on habituation but that intensive practice has the opposite effect, so for our purposes, less is going to be more and will likely have better outcomes when it comes to ERP. This may be highly individualized and the amounts of meditation used for the studies that I have seen so far are not quantified. By comparison, at the peak of my practice I was meditating an average of 9 hours per week pre-covid, 15 during lockdown, and on retreat 9 per day. I would guess that these numbers exceed what the study considered to be moderate and likely fall under the intensive category. Willoughby Britton – When Meditation Causes Harm https://podcast.mindandlife.org/willoughby-britton/ Outside of my own experiences I know a good number of people who have gone through their own struggles including a dear friend who was hospitalized on four separate occasions with meditation induced psychosis during or following retreats. It does not seem feasible that ERP can be used or should be relied upon to prevent these states of mind from occurring. These more extreme situations fall well outside the scope of ERP and to limit or fully discontinue meditation after they have occurred is not avoidance but out of necessity for self-preservation. Please understand that my intent in sharing this information is not to scare or dissuade people from meditating but to offer information that is not being shared as openly or widely as the positive stories. Each of us is here because we’re working as a community to recover from a disorder that has impacted our lives in countless ways. I would like to see us all be successful in our recovery and to make well informed choices that help us proceed down that path. It is my hope that providing this information and sharing of experiences helps to prevent others in this community from compounding their struggles or potentially derailing their progress. If you’re going to take up a meditation practice, take it slowly, take breaks if you need to, less can be more, and do what feels right for you. There are many forms of meditation to choose from. Shop around. Wishing you well.
What meditations or apps do you recommend?
@Anonymous 99 Insight Timer by far, i would choose no other!
I followed that advice from a therapist back in the early 2000’s and ended up with severe adverse effects from meditation and mindfulness. In addition it appears that my brain eventually saw meditation and following breathing the same way it would any other anxiety reducing compulsion and made things far worse. My tale unfolded over a period of a decade and involved a lot of suffering. Please be careful as simply using an app can have similar results in a very short period of time. If you’re prone to dissociating or experience existential or somatic OCD themes be very cautious. Cheetah House is a resource out of Brown University for meditators in distress and hears from a significant number of people weekly seeking assistance. I’d strongly encourage anyone to look at the symptoms and read the stories before taking up a meditation practice so they can understand what’s happening should these effects begin to manifest. And to be clear, I was deeply commited to meditation snd Zen practice for well over a decade, ordained as a lay monk, hosted a meditation group and served as Chaplain on a University campus for 5 years, and eventually had to stop meditating altogether. It’s been two years since I stopped and have tried meditating a handful of times over the past two years, each time with the same result. All is well during and immediately following the meditation and then I awaken in the middle of my sleep that evening, shrieking from a night terror and stuck in sleep paralysis.
@Dazzling Amygdala Very interesting
@The names Adelbert I’m finally working on putting together a podcast episode detailing the whole experience and hope to have it completed in the next month or so.
@Dazzling Amygdala Love to hear that, although this is very insightful information. How would you guide the feeling of hopelessness that some might feel in seeing this information? Like for me when I first read this I thought, “well crap then if I can’t meditate then what can I do for me”
@The names Adelbert Oh, and ERP has done far more for long term anxiety and OCD recovery than meditation ever did. I’m incredibly grateful for ERP.
@The names Adelbert Read my post below, you can certainly meditate I think it is worth a try as it has helped many many people
have any of y’all had success with just doing basic mindfulness exercises? if so, what does your mindfulness practice look like and what are practical ways i can get started with my own?
Looking back, if I could have told myself anything before I started therapy, it would be that I'm not the only one experiencing this. I was so set on the fact that no one could possibly understand, that I refused to try to open up to more than only a handful of people. It can be incredibly scary to take that leap of faith, but when you find that community of people who do understand, it's a wave of relief and hope I didn't know was out there. I wouldn't change a thing, but if I could have told myself anything, it would be to hang in there! I'm not alone, thanks to you all. For those that are in therapy, in recovery, etc. - looking back, what is something you would tell yourself if you could?
If you could go back in time, whether that's to last week, last year, or ten years ago, and impart some knowledge or advice on your old self - what would you say? I went 19 years with untreated OCD. It impaired my life in ways I'm still learning as I navigate recovery. If I could go back, I would tell myself to seek out ERP much sooner and remind myself that I'm stronger than I think.
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