- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for sharing that, I loved it!!!
- Date posted
- 6y
@Brooklyn33 “A common fear related to ERP treatment is the distorted idea that accepting the presence of gay thoughts in your mind somehow leads to a likelihood of acting out gay behaviors. This OCD logic has the sufferer in a double bind in which doing compulsions feels like a way to protect oneself from becoming gay, but at the same time actually fuels the obsession about one’s sexual orientation. When someone with HOCD stops doing the compulsions, they often see this as dangerously opening the door to unwanted gayness. This is not unique to HOCD, as it is an identical frame for the Harm OCD sufferer who worries that accepting harm thoughts will lead to violence, or the contamination OCD sufferer who worries that not washing will lead to contracting a terrible disease. It is important to remember, then, that ERP for OCD always feels like you are doing something wrong. This is because what you thought was right (compulsive behavior) is actually the source of the problem.” Source: https://ocdla.com/sexual-orientation-ocd-challenges-treatment-hocd-1978
- Date posted
- 6y
I was literally thinking this right before I saw this post...thank you!
- Date posted
- 6y
I don't know if this is denial or not. But I usually think that when my treatment will be over, and I discover I got zero anxiety about hocd, my thoughts will be stronger and I'll accept all of this. That deep shit scares me all the way, I just want to accept uncertainty and keep living like thoughts are just thoughts but is so hard...
- Date posted
- 6y
Wooow, thanks. I needed this. Erp and "denial" is really uncomfortable for me too. To the point that when I see a woman I fear that I feel something else more than thinking someone is pretty or whatever. That makes me really confused about what is anxiety and what is desire too. I keep trying to not answer to this but I don't know yet how to be okay yet with the internal feeling/thought that keeps telling me everything is true. Thank you again :)
- Date posted
- 6y
This was really helpful. Thank you ♡
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Hey all, I’ve been having some ebbs and flows in recovery, but for the most part I’ve really had a lot of improvements in quality of life since starting treatment in 2023. Something that really trips me up is ruminating on my past and looking for “evidence” or “proof” that the things that I’m obsessed with are real and not OCD. I spend quite a lot of time doing this. I wasn’t fully aware I was doing it until recently. Example: that I’m secretly gay and lying to everyone (I’m bi), that I’m a horrible person deep down, that I’ve never actually loved any person including my family, that I have the “wrong” political or religious beliefs. I look for proof in every corner of my past. It makes some sense that I think this way because with my previous therapist, who I saw for 8 years and did not diagnose me with OCD, we would look for evidence and proof that my obsessions are irrational and I learned to deal with them that way. At the time it was a lot of health concern and contamination themes, but I literally learned to ruminate and search for relief. But I just kept getting sicker and sicker until I got diagnosed with OCD. It’s a frustrating compulsion that keeps showing up for me. What if these scary things are true? What if it’s not OCD at all and I’m in denial? Have I lied my way into thinking I have OCD? It’s so hard. Anyway, I’m curious if anyone else has come across this in recovery? Let me know your thoughts and I hope you’re well. ❤️
- Date posted
- 14w
I was diagnosed with OCD around the age of 6, subtype- contamination primarily. It calmed down as I got older and I assumed it had gone away, but also didn’t realize it can show up in other ways, and it still had been effecting me which I know now. I’m not 31 and I’ve been in therapy for a year and it’s helped a lot, although I sometimes get thoughts that what if some of the stuff I’m dealing with isn’t ocd and I’m exaggerating. I feel like thoughts will feel sticky and I’ll do certain compulsions but then the thought eventually vanishes if I do it a few times which makes me think maybe it’s not OCD since other people/friends I know would probably do the exact same thing. Not sure if I’m making sense, but I guess my question is if that thought comes up with anyone else? Just being unsure if something you’re doing actually is ocd or not.
- Date posted
- 11w
I'll start by saying, I have not been clinically diagnosed, as I do not have the funds to see therapists or psychiatrists in my current situation. Once I'm in a better spot, I very much intend to. That to say; after months and months of having issues with anxiety, specifically health related, my partner was the one that mentioned OCD. I did have some somewhat OCD related behaviors in my youth, though those likely could be explained by potentially undiagnosed ASD (as my mother is on the spectrum as well as a sibling, both diagnosed.) But I never considered OCD taking form in a health sense. I posted earlier about how I've had 4 days of pretty minimal anxiety and intrusive thoughts, and it has led me to doubt the OCD label I've been working at treating? I don't want to be the person that identifies themselves with a disorder they don't have, which is why I hesitate to self diagnose with OCD or ASD or anything else. At the same time, I've read that a lot of even clinically diagnosed people with OCD doubt their diagnosis. It makes me wonder if I will always have this doubt, and if that means it is worth it or not to get tested? I know that if I do, they can actually do ERP (whereas I've been self taught and self guided so far) so that would be worth it...
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