I'm going to see my boyfriend tomorrow, but I've noticed that right before I go to his place I'm getting a little bit anxious because I don't know how it's going to be. Will I enjoy the time? What if I can't enjoy the time because of all the thoughts.. etc.
I've even talked to my bf about feeling this way. At first he was offended but then he realized it was my own issues and worries. Only advice I have is what he told me; it could be a great time, but if you go in assuming or worrying about the worst, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. That might not be helpful, but asking your therapist for advice (even just messaging them today), they might have some advice on how to handle the situation. I usually straight up tell my bf that I'm just nervous, but this sometimes doesn't help at all. What does, is distracting from those thoughts by thinking of past good times or possible good times and then moving on to what is happening *in the moment*. Like "its dinner time, im eating. That event is tomorrow, not now" or "im walking to the door right now, but when we meet i will say hi! And that's not scary"
What helps me is just going there and just saying "let's see how it goes"
@mel0206 Sounds like a good plan
@Anonymous My boyfriend and I are going to the thermal baths this Friday too! Bit excited!
@mel0206 That's exciting!! :D have you ever gone before? I love trying new things!
@Anonymous It's very relaxing, I was one year ago with my bf and we fall asleep at the chairs there 😂😂😴😴
Sometimes I get really upset with my boyfriend and I can’t tell if I’m not having my needs met or if it’s my ROCD questioning things. I can’t express that I’m upset because he rlly doesn’t understand what is going on in my head and most times I bring it up it’s turned into an argument. It is really frustrating does anyone have any tips on deciphering this stuff or dealing with the upset feeling/ bad thoughts (IE: “He’s cheating on me and that’s why he’s not texting.”) (IE: “He’s talking like this because he just doesn’t love me, and he’s not attracted to me. He clearly wants to leave me but doesn’t have the heart to do it yet”)
no clue if this is compulsive, but I’m interested to hear any obsessions others have that aren’t the “common” ones you see online about what ROCD is? a few for me: - thoughts about their partner being with someone else instead (sometimes a specific person) and then trying to analyze your reaction to it? e.g. does it *feel* more right than us, do I actually feel happy for them, etc. - trying to imagine your partner in your current situation or maybe a specific future situation (when they’re not around) and trying to decide if they “fit” in it? - being super scared of losing them, then suddenly feeling like you don’t care much for them at all, and just constantly cycling? - I almost never fully enjoyed sex because I was constantly obsessing about whether or not I was turned on, turned on “enough,” if I was just having groinal responses and wasn’t actually turned on, looking at his face just to decide if I find him attractive enough, comparing my experience with how I feel watching content alone, etc.
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
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