i’ve posted about this once before, but i really feel like i can’t smile or laugh anymore. when i laugh or smile, an intrusive thought comes into my head, and it causes me to stop smiling. it happens, without a doubt, every single time. i cant smile and enjoy things anymore because of this and i really think it’s taking a toll on me.
I sometimes have this happen to me as well when I am having a good moment or enjoying something. My intrusive thoughts will sometimes come in and tell me I don’t deserve it or I shouldn’t be happy, but this is a great exposure. When the thoughts start to come up when you’re having a good time, just keep enjoying yourself and think “there are those thoughts again”. They don’t need to hold any significance and they are not the justifier of your happiness. If something makes you laugh and you start to have an intrusive thought, laugh hard! Go smile in the mirror and when you hear the thoughts, shrug it off or even wave at yourself and say hi ocd I am happy. This will show your OCD you are not going to let it be in control!
I'm sorry to hear this! This sounds very tiring. Have you ever tried therapy before?
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅
Two things are happening: I get thoughts that just keep looping. They almost feel like song stuck in my head. Also, I’ll imagine something and I feel my stomach drop. Then as the seconds go by I keep getting fragments of the this thought but with different details. For example, it’s kinda like how a “vision” is portrayed. I’ll get a glimpse of the thought and then it’ll rapidly expand into something worse every few seconds. I don’t know if I’m causing this or if it’s just an automatic thing like any other intrusive thought. It feels unavoidable, idk if this is a compulsion or if it’s just another manifestation of an intrusive thought. Apart from that remembering an intrusive thought triggers the full thought again and then it just keeps looping or expanding. I don’t know how to stop any of this. Help?
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