My mom just saw my crying over my rOCD situation again and she just said "Well what a problem he is becoming" and I was like :l and she said "Well it is not my relationship,it is not me so I dont know what else is happening" and I told her "Nothing is happening outside it is just in my head" and now Im crying lots because I feel like shit. My backdoor spike has been horrendous and Ive been feeling like my thoughts are real and today I saw my boyfriend and I literally cried with him because I dont feel good because I dont want to feel like this I want to love him but my mom insinuated that maybe hes doing something wrong to me but I swear he is not, he is the most loving boyfriend I could ever have. I just dont want to leave him and I cant believe she just decided to come and tell me that. I know she doesnt believe much in mental illnesses and that is why at the beginning I tried to not tell her much about this. Plus she is one of those people who really dont believe in love and actually the first time I told her about this she said " Well sometimes you love the person but you dont want to be with them" and you have no idea how bad thay made me feel bcause I dont want to think it could be that. Anyways,I talked to her about it again bc I was planning to get professional help and I felt like she was really supportive but she just came and did that. Now Im crying horribly bc today Ive had thoughts like "What if we are not compatible?" and those type of things and her telling me that doesnt help. I just dont want to leave him.I swear I dont. I dont want to stop.loving him :(

catpants

Date posted: 6y

It sounds like it’s sending you spiralling. I often seek outside reassurance and my partner is right for me, and it seems like you might be doing that with your mother. Except she isn’t giving you that reassurance, she’s feeding into the ocd by questioning your relationship and so you’re sent back into an ocd loop over and over again. I know how difficult it can be to accept that you cannot confirm whether he’s right for you, but it’s what helps. And it’s okay. It’s okay to not know whether he’s right for you. It’s okay to doubt your relationship and it’s okay to have these intrusive thoughts.

Cat_attack

Date posted: 6y

She doesn’t understand the situation. People who offer advice on things regarding OCD, though they try to help only end up making things worse.

xMariax

Date posted: 6y

Yeah, I noticed that when she said that to me I started to analyze whether my boyfriend did or said anything bad in front of them that could make her believe he is doing something to me or not. I tried to not talk to her about this bc of the same thing you are mentioning, she doesnt really understand. I know she probably believes I dont love him and Im having a hard time accepting it. Another thing is that Ive noticed I usually want like people's approval of my decisions and I know it is SO WRONG but when she says those things I believe she doesnt think we should be together and that affects me

xMariax

Date posted: 6y

when she said what a problem he is becoming she was refering to my boyfriend

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