- Username
- xMariax
- Date posted
- 5y ago
It sounds like it’s sending you spiralling. I often seek outside reassurance and my partner is right for me, and it seems like you might be doing that with your mother. Except she isn’t giving you that reassurance, she’s feeding into the ocd by questioning your relationship and so you’re sent back into an ocd loop over and over again. I know how difficult it can be to accept that you cannot confirm whether he’s right for you, but it’s what helps. And it’s okay. It’s okay to not know whether he’s right for you. It’s okay to doubt your relationship and it’s okay to have these intrusive thoughts.
She doesn’t understand the situation. People who offer advice on things regarding OCD, though they try to help only end up making things worse.
Yeah, I noticed that when she said that to me I started to analyze whether my boyfriend did or said anything bad in front of them that could make her believe he is doing something to me or not. I tried to not talk to her about this bc of the same thing you are mentioning, she doesnt really understand. I know she probably believes I dont love him and Im having a hard time accepting it. Another thing is that Ive noticed I usually want like people's approval of my decisions and I know it is SO WRONG but when she says those things I believe she doesnt think we should be together and that affects me
when she said what a problem he is becoming she was refering to my boyfriend
A week ago I was fine. Or at least better than other moments, so the anxiety started to reduce. At the beginning I was like "Great!" but then on Sunday I started to notice it more and more and I started to worry that maybe the lack of anxiety meant I just dont love him anymore. These past 3 days have been all about thinking and analyzing if I truly stopped loving him or if its rOCD. What has been worrying me is that I havent gone to a professional yet, so I havent been diagnosed with OCD. I never have; I have never gone to a psychologist. However, all of this started like 3 almost 4 months ago and I had such a bad time. I didnt even want to get out of bed to face how I was feeling because I wanted to feel happy with my boyfriend, but 3 weeks ago I found out about rOCD and I read about the obsessions and compulsions and it was like describing me. I instantly felt a relief to know that there was not necessarily something bad with my relationship or my boyfriend, it could be just rOCD. So I have been trying to work on ot but sometimes I just give in. And these 3 days I havent really felt anxiety so I have just been thinking and analyzing to see if it is because I dont want to be with him anymore. Right now I feel nothing, I have been creating scenarios of me just being with my partner to see how I feel and sometimes I only imagine me feeling like I have been feeling these months. I even imagined myself breaking up with him just to see how I would feel and in one moment I even felt sick to think about it, but then I imagined that again and I felt nothing and that scared me because I dont want to stop loving him. I dont want that, I want to be with him and I want to feel all the love that he deserves and Im scared because I dont even know if this is actually rOCD because I practically self-diagnosed. Sorry for this guys, I guess Im just venting because I feel terrible right now! Once again Im at the point in which I feel a little uncomfortable when he tells me he loves me because I start to question "Do i feel it too? How do I feel when i read that he loves me? What if I tell him I love him but I dont and hurt him?" Im just tired of feeling this way.
How can I believe that this is ROCD when there are some proof? Like… I know my ROCD could have exaggerated things.. I know when I am calm I love him and hug him. But this morning was bad.. I started crying when he told me he loved me… before he got of the car I hugged him super hard… I can’t shake this off… I wanna accept his flaws… when I don’t overthink I know I love him.. some parts of him I know I dislike and I told him what thoses things are…. I know relationships go thru rough patches.. I wanna fix it! It’s like my brain is trying to force me to run away.. My friend told me that my relationship is fine. It’s just both of our mental states are to blame for why our relationship is struggling…. I just want my relationship back.. if we break up.. I don’t know if I can handle another relationship again.. I can’t… I just don’t want to
Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)
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