How did you overcome Body Dismorphic Disorder?

I’m really struggling. I’ve had BDD as long as I can remember- most days I feel so unbelievably sad and hopeless and I’ve never known what it’s like not to feel this way. I’m constantly thinking about which people are looking at me, what lights are on and off, how I can move my hair in front of my face so people can’t see me, what clothes I’m wearing, how to lose weight or dress to look skinny, and I spend hours at a time digging bloody holes in my face just because a tiny pimple felt so excruciating to know about without getting rid of. I have acne all over my face and I feel like sobbing whenever I see myself in a mirror. I can’t have my makeup off in front of people (haven’t been able to in a decade since I was 9 years old) but I also can’t sleep with makeup on, and this makes it so I can’t travel with my family or friends or stay at people’s houses unless I have my own room and bathroom (which is obviously not the norm). I miss classes and socializing often because I feel like I can’t go outside in the light so I sit alone in the dark for days at a time. I push everyone in my life away because of it. I was hospitalized a couple of times for an eating disorder and had to spend months at a time in inpatient treatment, so I’ve tried lots of intensive therapy and outside of treatment I met weekly with a therapist for 3 years. I’m just feeling so lost, alone, and helpless. I need advice, help, something. I always wonder whether I’d just be better off not living, even though I know that decision can’t even be on the table. It sucks.

Username: Erin PErin P

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m sorry you are suffering so badly. When I was in the Rogers Behavioral Health residential program they helped people with BDD and eating disorders. From what I observed and talks with peers it was ERP therapy. I saw great improvement for people suffering from BDD / OCD / perfectionism/ eating disorders. It saved my life (OCD and OCD based ARFId eating disorder). Have you been to a place like this that knows how to treat BDD?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Can you give more detail on some examples of exposures you did? I have debilitating clothes anxiety and weight anxiety. Also in ED treatment

Username: Erin PErin P

Date posted: 1y ago

My exposures were mostly around restroom contamination and eating foods that I thought would make my restroom trips more frequent or worse. On the food side it was having one bite of a feared good and then maybe the next day eating more of it and once I was fine with that food trying a scarier one. For people with weight gain fears and binge eating they would have to eat just a small amount of their binge food until they could eat that food without doing so in binge quantities. For BDD I’m not sure of all the different ERP exposures but at one point a peers with BDD had to post pictures of the second up on the wall where they could see them and others could to - this was very far along in their hierarchies. For you it might be to spend 5 minutes around people without one part of your makeup. All I know is I was much better from the treatment and so were my peers with BDD and peers with ED. There really aren’t many places on the US (if you are here) that deal with OCD spectrum / type disorders and ED at the same time. Rogers was really good - I was in the ED and anxiety disorders program. It included ERP, work with a nutritionist, psychiatrist meetings, therapist meetings, support groups, CBT, DBT, etc. They take Cigna and other insurance.

Username: OCDVirgoOCDVirgo

Date posted: 1y ago

I relate to this A LOT. I used to never let anyone see me without makeup. This was very hard when I was dating I would fall asleep in my makeup around my bf when we were dating. Gross.. I was so scared he wouldn’t like me without makeup. I feel I look very different without it. I envy people who can go out without it and feel beautiful without makeup or go swimming or take showers in front of people. I let my bf see me “without makeup” now but truthfully everyday I lock myself in the bathroom wash off my full face and put back on eyebrows and a very strong lip liner that won’t come off on the pillows and a tiny bit of mascara. I wish there was some magic solution but I’ve found just wearing little bits of makeup (not on skin) makes me feel like I’ve made some sort of progress.. little steps at a time.

Username: Junebug21

Date posted: 2y ago

I deal with excoriation disorder/dermatillomania where I constantly feel the need to pick at my skin/squeeze/get out any content beneath the surface of my face via bumps/pores. I've actually never really had much acne, but due to the damage I've done to my own skin, it almost looks like I have acne scars. I mostly do it in the morning and at night when I'm in the bathroom/ in front of a mirror and although I'm aware it's harmful and can see the repercussions and red splotchy cuts on my face after, I'm having a hard time controlling it. Does anyone face a similar experience with excoriation disorder? If so, any tips or strategies I should try?

Username: sierraxeliza...

Date posted: 1y ago

Really Struggling

I’m 28 years old and I’ve been battling with OCD since I was around 8 years old. However, I didn’t realize it was OCD until a few years ago. I’ve dealt with multiple themes of OCD that are on constant rotation. Currently, I’m struggling with real event OCD, and moral scrupulously OCD. It has made this past week extremely distressing. My husband is aware of all of my thoughts and feelings, however, that’s due to my need to “confess” virtually everything in my life. He is never stressed about the content of what I’m worrying about, but unfortunately, that serves as temporary reassurance for me, and the cycle continues. This week has been one of my HARDEST. I have been stuck in a loop over the same obsession, with barely any relief. I’m self employed, and usually the winter months are slow, so I currently have no distractions to get out of my head. I can barely eat, and I go through multiple waves of panic attacks a day. I’m starting to lose hope that I can figure this out alone. I’ve never seen professional help for my OCD, and to be honest, it terrifies me to have to explain my thoughts and feelings to a stranger. What if I never get better? I guess I’m just looking for guidance, advice, etc. I’m feeling so lost and scared.

Username: Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

DPDR and pure O

I’ve been suffering from non stop 24/7 dpdr for a year and a half now. I never really had OCD in a big way before I suffered some major panic attacks. Since then I’ve been a completely different person. I used to live a carefree life of traveling. Socializing. Experiencing life. After my panic attacks I became agoraphobic, couldn’t leave the house or work. My thoughts were like a washing machine over and over. I’ve done a lot of work to help overcome the fear of panic, but I’m still stuck in a 24/7 DPDR state- my thoughts never stop, I’m always searching for answers about my mental health, I have music stuck in my head from the time I wake up to the time I got to sleep, my mind is racing, attacking what I value, saying hopeless thoughts, anxiously worried about everything, I don’t do physical compulsions but I’m mentally checking myself all the time to see if I’m in DPDR still, or if things feel “weird” - I have a huge fear of going crazy and death. Although I’m not having panic attacks anymore, I’m still mentally anxious all the time. I feel like I cannot escape my thoughts, they torture me. I can’t feel any emotions, I’ve lost my sense of self, I can’t make new memories or be present - I’m constantly in my head. A lot of what kicked this off was years of trauma that was stored in my nervous system, once unleashed, I haven’t been able to recover. I want my life back. I’m tired of living in fear and exhaustion to the point where nothing brings me joy. Anxiety and ocd have taken my freedom from me, I feel like the thoughts rule every decision I make instead of being able to live freely, sometimes I don’t think it’s anxiety because I can’t feel anything physically, but these thoughts torture me- no one should have to live this way. What do I do? I’m taking medication but all it’s done is stop the physical symptoms, the thinking has not gotten better

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How did you overcome Body Dismorphic Disorder?

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