How did you overcome Body Dismorphic Disorder?

I’m really struggling. I’ve had BDD as long as I can remember- most days I feel so unbelievably sad and hopeless and I’ve never known what it’s like not to feel this way. I’m constantly thinking about which people are looking at me, what lights are on and off, how I can move my hair in front of my face so people can’t see me, what clothes I’m wearing, how to lose weight or dress to look skinny, and I spend hours at a time digging bloody holes in my face just because a tiny pimple felt so excruciating to know about without getting rid of. I have acne all over my face and I feel like sobbing whenever I see myself in a mirror. I can’t have my makeup off in front of people (haven’t been able to in a decade since I was 9 years old) but I also can’t sleep with makeup on, and this makes it so I can’t travel with my family or friends or stay at people’s houses unless I have my own room and bathroom (which is obviously not the norm). I miss classes and socializing often because I feel like I can’t go outside in the light so I sit alone in the dark for days at a time. I push everyone in my life away because of it. I was hospitalized a couple of times for an eating disorder and had to spend months at a time in inpatient treatment, so I’ve tried lots of intensive therapy and outside of treatment I met weekly with a therapist for 3 years. I’m just feeling so lost, alone, and helpless. I need advice, help, something. I always wonder whether I’d just be better off not living, even though I know that decision can’t even be on the table. It sucks.

Username: Erin PErin P

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m sorry you are suffering so badly. When I was in the Rogers Behavioral Health residential program they helped people with BDD and eating disorders. From what I observed and talks with peers it was ERP therapy. I saw great improvement for people suffering from BDD / OCD / perfectionism/ eating disorders. It saved my life (OCD and OCD based ARFId eating disorder). Have you been to a place like this that knows how to treat BDD?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Can you give more detail on some examples of exposures you did? I have debilitating clothes anxiety and weight anxiety. Also in ED treatment

Username: Erin PErin P

Date posted: 1y ago

My exposures were mostly around restroom contamination and eating foods that I thought would make my restroom trips more frequent or worse. On the food side it was having one bite of a feared good and then maybe the next day eating more of it and once I was fine with that food trying a scarier one. For people with weight gain fears and binge eating they would have to eat just a small amount of their binge food until they could eat that food without doing so in binge quantities. For BDD I’m not sure of all the different ERP exposures but at one point a peers with BDD had to post pictures of the second up on the wall where they could see them and others could to - this was very far along in their hierarchies. For you it might be to spend 5 minutes around people without one part of your makeup. All I know is I was much better from the treatment and so were my peers with BDD and peers with ED. There really aren’t many places on the US (if you are here) that deal with OCD spectrum / type disorders and ED at the same time. Rogers was really good - I was in the ED and anxiety disorders program. It included ERP, work with a nutritionist, psychiatrist meetings, therapist meetings, support groups, CBT, DBT, etc. They take Cigna and other insurance.

Username: OCDVirgoOCDVirgo

Date posted: 1y ago

I relate to this A LOT. I used to never let anyone see me without makeup. This was very hard when I was dating I would fall asleep in my makeup around my bf when we were dating. Gross.. I was so scared he wouldn’t like me without makeup. I feel I look very different without it. I envy people who can go out without it and feel beautiful without makeup or go swimming or take showers in front of people. I let my bf see me “without makeup” now but truthfully everyday I lock myself in the bathroom wash off my full face and put back on eyebrows and a very strong lip liner that won’t come off on the pillows and a tiny bit of mascara. I wish there was some magic solution but I’ve found just wearing little bits of makeup (not on skin) makes me feel like I’ve made some sort of progress.. little steps at a time.

Username: anna banana

Date posted: 5y ago

hey guys, anyone with eating disorders or body dysmorphia? ive had certain habits for a long, long time but ive started seeing them through a different light now. i usually try and starve myself to stay unbloated and skinny looking, and usually after a while i get so hungry that i binge eat. after the binge is over, i either drink excessive amounts of coffee (to work like laxatives) or i starve for days on end to “make up” for it. in all honesty, i would just throw up if it wasnt for a surreal fear of vomiting (only way emetophobia has been good for me ever) about half of the time i feel good about my looks, weight, body, face and all that, but the rest of the time i feel like i look disgusting, and thats where the starving comes in, and excessive grooming habits to cover my flaws. all of this was way worse a couple of years ago, and then it got way better, but along with all of this ocd this has gotten worse again. i feel like the way the “eating disorder” habits and the “body dysmorphia” plays out kind of look like an ocd cycle (sorry for self diagnosing, i dont know if i actually have these) another thing that i know for sure is very unhealthy is the amount of shame and embarrassment i have towards my body. i feel i “have” to do so many things to cover up, prevent or get ready for certain events or plans. overall, any time i need to be proper or any bodypart of mine has a role in something, i get so stressed to the point of panic attacks. i nearly had a burnout when i was seeing this guy for two months (my first time dating someone) from just sheer stress. before meeting up with him i would panic for hours, and still would while being with him. i barely got to enjoy the good times.

"Pure" OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

not THAT OCD related, but i’m so tired of looking in the mirror and picking apart the things that i feel are wrong with myself. after my first session with my therapist, she said i also have body dysmorphic disorder, which is commonly seen in people who have OCD. i’m not a person who cries easily, but this problem i have within myself almost brings me to tears often and eats at me every single day. i cant enjoy simple things without being fixated on how i look/my appearance while doing them. if i’m swimming in the pool, i’m thinking about how my face looks with my hair wet and get uncomfortable when i feel like someone is looking at me for too long. i feel uncomfortable in rooms with certain lighting. i adjust the angle or position my body is at while interacting with other people just because i’m concerned with how they’re seeing me. just a rant, feeling really defeated.

Username: cmac1339

Date posted: 28w ago

Severe Body Image Issues

Please only read this if you are 18+ (contains mention of s**cide) I have had severe body dysmorphia since beginning college. I’ve been skinny my whole life and have an entirely flat chest. I was doing really good for a while, but I made the mistake of looking at social media today… There is an influencer who is built exactly like me and I always go to her page to find positivity…I looked at some of her recent posts and the things men and women were saying about her were horrific. Among some of the many hate comments were things like “nightmare body”, “genetically inferior to other women”, and just brutal things each of which would take a person years to recover from hearing. There were countless gifs of dancing skeletons, and a lot of surprisingly attractive people brutally bashing her. I haven’t felt suicidal in years and all at once I see very little point in going on. The world has finally defeated me and I just can’t see what the point is in seeking happiness if I could only ever possibly be lying to myself when i feel good about myself.

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How did you overcome Body Dismorphic Disorder?

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