anyone free to chat?

Totally understand, my routine at home is literally exhausting at times that I find myself just laying in bed all day because that's my only "safe and clean space" in my own apartment. I've also only told maybe 1 or 2 people in my life. I'm able to somewhat hide it while I'm out or while I'm at work. Hopefully we can all get through this!

@scarletsky135 hey you sound just like me haha. it got to a point that no matter what i touched i would have to clean my hands, usually with alcohol (which definitely isn’t good for the skin haha). but i would even poor alcohol all over my phone at the end of each day bcs i thought it was literally poison. it’s definitely gotten better, but i still carry sanitizer anywhere i go and i to wash my hands more times a day than i can could. but i promise you’re not alone, and it may really help to reach out to some more people who can pitch in and find you the help you need. you got this :)

@LT_ hey thanks for reaching out! you’re definitely not alone, i also struggle with contamination ocd/emetophobia. it honestly was never bad for me until the pandemic, and then suddenly everything was “toxic” to me. my hands are always so dry from washing them and using sanitizer so much😅 i mostly worry about catching a stomach illness from a surface that a sick person has touched, but it’s important to remember that germs and viruses can’t live forever, and many of them can only live for a few seconds. if you want to share i’d be interested to know how your contamination ocd manifests itself. thanks again for responding! :)

@LT_ I’m honestly the same way. I didn’t know I had OCD until a couple of years ago.

@Angela V.O totally feel, ocd isn’t talking about “correctly” enough. it’s not always just about needing everything to be even and tidy😅 ocd can have so many forms and it can take quite a while to present itself fully

@sierrabear talked*

@A.V Yeah it's definitely gotten worse over the years too.. keep telling myself that I can work through it

@LT_ it’s very possible that you can, but always remember that there’s no shame in asking for help :)

@sierrabear Same my hands literally look white from washing so much.. it's not so much that I worry about getting sick, it's more so just scared of "bringing stuff with me" i can't even do my own laundry without having to shower afterwards.. or pick up something that dropped on the floor in my own apartment.. hard to explain it all.. it's gotten worse over time

@LT_ i absolutely understand. when i lived in a dorm i had to throw away literally anything that would touch the group, even clothes sometimes. or if i dropped something like my phone i would have to wipe it with sanitizing wipes. it’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t understand haha, but it’s nice to hear from someone who does

@sierrabear I've done the same thing with clothes!haha.. sounds so ridiculous.. definitely nice to hear someone else who gets it.. can I ask what has helped you if anything?

@LT_ honestly it’s still a struggle for me, but i would say that i can control it the most when i’m at home. i think i mentioned earlier that when i lived in a dorm it was the worst because that didn’t feel like a safe space to me, so i never had any place to just relax and not have to worry. i’d say definitely make yourself a safe place that you know exactly what has been touched and by who, i.e. your bedroom or something similar. i think a lot of contamination ocd comes from a place of wanting control, so i’ve been working on trying to not worry about things i can’t control, but it’s definitely not easy

@Fightingocd hey thanks for responding! i’m so happy to hear you’re getting better! people underestimate how strong everyone who deals with ocd is, we are so amazing. i’m definitely getting better in the areas i struggle with as well and am starting hypnotherapy soon to help myself heal even faster!! so glad you took the time to reach out :)

@sierrabear I try to do ERP which is really really hard sometimes! And I really try to live in the moment. I’m happy that you’re getting better as well!

@Fightingocd ooh what’s your experience like with ERP? i’m not too familiar with that method

@sierrabear It really depends on the theme I’m suffering from on the moment but my therapist gave me different exercices that I have to do until the anxiety reduces by half!