If you have ROCD read this.

@huma (home-ah) Omg I’m so sorry :(! On your birthday that’s terrible, I’m sorry you had to spend your day like that. That’s so nice congrats on your move in together! But yes it is very difficult for this when you have such love for a person you that’s just unbelievable. Yes in the beginning it was terrible, when we didn’t know or understand there wasn’t much advice that was said or anything. It’s difficult for anyone who doesn’t have any ocd because they truly don’t know what to say to be supportive, but it’s never meant to hurt us or anything. It seems like he tried helping you with the reassurance, but I’m glad that you both figured out it’s no good! Whenever you both have the time definitely watch those podcasts, videos helped me understand more and definitely my boyfriend. Aw :( I knowww when he said those things to me I always started crying and just hugged him so hard to thank you. It meant the world to me whenever he did that. Once you both watch some videos then he will learn how to be able to help you more without any reassuring and it will definitely help you. I wish you nothing but the best of luck of recovering!! And thank you for your comment :)! It’s good to feel and know how we’re all here to support one another

@Carolll35 I’ve never seen anything like this forum. It’s the only safe place I can go right now for support where the people around understand. And it’s accessible to all. Y’all have helped me feel much less alone on this evening. There is more birthday to be had—I’m a Leap Day baby, so I’ve got this February 28th, as well as March 1st. We got time to turn it around ❤️❤️❤️🥹🥰

@Tidal Maéve Congratulations!! And yes ocd will not take over us no more! These thoughts have no feeling to our hearts

@Carolll35 Thank you! I agree! We are so freaking strong

@Carolll35 no , thank you for writing this. i have ocd but my thoughts are the opposite, for example my thoughts are “is my bf cheating on me?” , “does he like someone else?” , “he probably doesn’t love me or want me anymore” etc and it haunts and eats at me every single day. i can’t even watch certain movies w him that involve women in even a somewhat sexual way or then my ocd thoughts go crazy. ive been trying to do exposure therapy. i really wanna get better because i know i have caused my bf stressed for always reassuring me etc.

@moonjoy I’m sorry to hear that :(, I have that too time to time but not as much as anything with me. I know that it must seem very tough on him because of the reassuring but this is only because you care about him so very much. It will take time for you though so just know he’s there to support you no matter what. And it will get better, especially since you are taking exposure therapy! How long have you been doing it?

@Carolll35 youre so sweet, thank you so much . im so happy you also found someone to support you and love you through this . i definitely understand the guilt of making your boyfriend feel negative certain times, but its so good that youve been doing good for those many days!!! thats a lot for ocd . im so proud of you. tbh i always wanted to start exposure therapy for honestly a while. ive always talked about doing it but i never did because i was honestly so scared . i just started doing exposure therapy & my exposure therapy involves watching movies with certain things that would trigger me in it with my boyfriend . for example i literally will have a panic attack if me & my boyfriend are watching a movie & a woman in a binkin or something pops up on the screen . so, my exposure therapy involves me watching movies that have that kinda stuff in there with my boyfriend. ive done 2 movies so far , the second movie i made really challenging for myself and i did cry a lot but my bf was there for me during the process. im going to be doing another movie soon, maybe even tonight but im not sure .

@Carolll35 what kinda coping mechs or things do you find the best for you? like how did u realize u were doing better in those

@moonjoy ^*in those 4 days ?

@moonjoy Aw thank you I was thinking how nice and sweet you are! Omg I’m so sorry to hear that I know the crying and emotions it must be so hard but hey 2nd movie! Went string but he was there to help you. It will get better. The worst part about ocd is the only was to ever over come it is to face the fear head on. It will go more smoothly as time goes on. You just have to communicate with your partner and know that voice in your head does not mean anything! He seems very supportive, and that’s the best. Don’t push yourself though, take your time and whenever you feel good face that fear with him! Makes you both stronger together

@moonjoy My coping mechs are well, I am on Escitalopram 10mg, and that helps with my anxiety I’m ngl. I had such bad anxiety where I couldn’t eat for days so really that helps me be able to focus more on staying in the moment and not get tied in with thoughts. But I have a journal and I write in it everyday about how I don’t care about thoughts, these thoughts aren’t me, none of these thoughts are true or real. Idk if that reassurance but it’s like just things to have in mind just in case anything pops up. Also in those 4 days I just woke up and I’m like yk what, todays a great day. I would do things I enjoy like watching my show and cleaning my room. I think it’s so important to do the things you enjoy. It makes me feel “normal” again before I put attention on ocd and thoughts. Forgetting I have ocd too, which is hard like when I’m doing something i just try to focus so much on the real world then whatever my head says. It’s very hard when being emotional but some how I say it’s like a switch. If you take a second to go towards the anxiety or the thought and not push it away or answer it to go away, just feel it and try to make yourself feel normal without forcing. Idk if that makes sense im sorry if it doesn’t 😭, but what my boyfriend has taught me is just to not answer any thoughts, not to believe it or react right away to it! Giving a reaction makes it feel more real because of the emotion. That’s what I mainly focus on those 3 things

@Carolll35 wow that’s really really good that youre doing that to help yourself feel better . i think doing things like u said that keep ur mind off things is really such a good thing plus journaling. sometimes i feel so “stuck” , meaning i WANT to start doing more things like activities but i just dont do much & that’s also partly because i dont have many things i like lol! but i guess i can start with small things like watching a movie or cleaning my room etc. ive heard of not reacting to ur ocd thoughts as well, ive been trying to do that , like to not answer my thoughts or ive heard asking ur brain for “more thoughts” makes it sometimes go away because ur ocd only wants to make u anxious or scared so when you say u want MORE thoughts, sometimes the thoughts can become less intense . ive been trying those tactics but when i get severely triggered, then sometimes nothing i do helps at all. it kinda overpowers me . when you get moments like that , what do u do ? sorry if im asking so much lmaoo

@moonjoy It was hard for me too to find things I enjoy cause I felt like I only did sports my whole life and just school or hung out with friends. But then it’s perfect to look stuff up and just figure out what you really like doing. I never thought I’d like cleaning my room but I really do! And yes I think it’s the best like just no answering or having any reaction towards thoughts cause then it’ll make it harder for you to stay calm or just let it go. And yea just say let all these thoughts in, I heard of that before my boyfriend even said it doesn’t matter thoughts are just thoughts, but it’s still hard but you can do it!!! Just keep trying but in my opinion trying to hard is to much pressure and is bad and trying to little is not enough. Gotta try to find a spot in between and that’s the best work you can do

@moonjoy Sorry I meant to answer but I was doing stuff while typing that, but in my true opinion you have it hard for your case. I think it’s perfectly normal to have overthinks about any girl cause of your bf and stuff but it sucks since you have ocd. I believe though that in that case it’s alright to ask for reassurance in that case but only like how do you know the girl? Idk stuff that is how come she took you to work but nothing crazy with any of your intrusive thoughts. Without these thoughts you should be able to feel comfortable and safe with your partner. I don’t know how long you’ve been together but some how there should be a way that he shows on his own that he is all for you and only you. I think that it’s a nroaml over think yk but idk the feeling ocd gives wnats you to be certain so certain but if you feed it that power it won’t get better. If you have a feel that you trust him, gotta let it happen smoothly and naturally. I know it’s so hard and terrible but this will ease over time. What did you do when this happened? Afterwards?

@moonjoy Aw I know that must be terrible. Honestly I feel like you and my boyfriend are the same because he gets very nervous and I have to reassure him all the time about any guy or anything with my feelings and etc. I don’t blame him because of all the thoughts I’ve told him but we both know cause we said he might have something like ocd but we’ll find out. But I’m so sorry that must be terrible being so scared :(. I think If that ever happened to me I would be the same as you. That’s why this is a hard thing because your ocd is about any girl in the relationship and he shouldn’t give you reassurance because it’s ocd. But I don’t want to miss form you or say anything wrong because it’s a hard thing but I believe the best thing is to ask your therapist about it. But I think it’s normal when something like that could happen to have an overthink yk but that one’s hard. Btw the harder you try to push anything away the more it comes. I know those what ifs and they are so annoying. So for you to forget about anything sadly you’ll have to try really hard not to put any reaction to the thought. Just let it be there

@moonjoy Hey it’s alright dont worry, you can rant anytime you need! I know it must be tough. Especially because of your past and it’s sad it’s affecting this relationship now, really sorry to hear you go through this. But it does get better. I never knew I would have those 4 great days but I did! Balrey got anxious etc etc but it took a year and a few months because I never understood it and tried the correct way to fix it but I’m getting better. How long have you had this for?

@Carolll35 not sure how long ive had ocd for , but i got diagnosed with it about a year ish ago. ive always kinda thought it was more than just my anxiety and my therapist finally diagnosed me w ocd .

@Carolll35 i really appreciate that so much. that really is so amazing that u had those days of peace . what did u do on those days ? like did u do stuff u really loved or felt more “alive” etc ? or was it just calming? and hbu, when did u get diagnosed w ocd ( if u got diagnosed ) .