Username: dorseela000

Date posted: 1y ago

ERP is not about feeling better?

Ok so I’ve started ERP about a month ago. It’s been really tough and I think I’m a little resistant to the work BECAUSE it’s so anxiety inducing. Although I don’t want to be. Could someone please clarify for me what the eventual goal with ERP is? I had thought the responses were supposed to help me “accept” the thoughts, aka feel relief. Now I believe I was using them as a compulsion. It can feel so shitty to sit with the intrusive thoughts, I don’t understand how to do that yet. I worry that it will never get better. Also one thing I really struggle with is believing my thoughts are 100% real. Makes it hard to accept. Makes me feel like a shitty person. Does anyone have any advice?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I think it’ll get harder before it gets better. Right now you’re still at a point where the triggers give you anxiety so when you’re doing the work it’s not easy. But ultimately one day you might still have triggers, but they won’t be debilitating and all-consuming. We’ll hopefully be able to say this is an intrusive thought, etc, I know that it may or may not happen but it’s not in my control. We might still have the thoughts but we won’t be stuck ruminating on them. Just acknowledge that it’s there and be able to move passed it. I hope the relief part will come being able to say I can have these thoughts and still live my life because I have the tools to support myself through them. I hope one day I can be to a point where even if I do have a thought I can be like “brain shut up” and not feel the need for compulsions to soothe the anxiety I’m feeling.

Username: dorseela000dorseela000

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous This is a really good explanation, thank you for taking the time to write that out- it definitely helped me to understand it better and kind of know that if I put in the work. I will see progress. And I already am! Which is awesome

Username: meep.meepmeep.meep

Date posted: 1y ago

I want to read some of what other people respond your inquiries as well, but from how I understand it, ERP is about accepting uncertainty (i.e. the uncertainty of whether the thoughts are true or not). Hope this helps.

Username: Erin PErin P

Date posted: 1y ago

Examples: Pre-ERP - walk by garbage dumpster. Wonder if I touched it - go back and check, still unsure, worry about it, worry about clothing, maybe change clothes, keep thinking about it at night, worry about clothes the next day. With ERP - walk by dumpster. Wonder if I touched it. Fight the urge to check. Keep walking. Accept that maybe I did touch it and I’m not going to do anything about it. Feel more anxious then often at this point I realize I didn’t touch it and I don’t have to think about isn’t any more. Pre-ERP - avoid touching garbage cans in my garage and wonder if my clothes or purse touched them and worry and touch items to see if they feel contaminated and keep worrying.

Username: Erin PErin P

Date posted: 1y ago

With - ERP - touch garbage can and hold my hand on it and risk being contaminated knowing I’m not going to wash or wipe my hands after. Stay there until the anxiety drops in half. After doing this a number of times, walking by the garbage can doesn’t bother me and I don’t care if my purse or clothes touch it. Pre-ERP - lots of replay, worry, judgement about past events or future concerns. Hours list to this and exhausted. With ERP - use ERP script, or treat thoughts as background OCD noise, or agree with the thoughts. In these cases anxiety goes up then comes down and I get to move on with my life.

Username: Erin PErin P

Date posted: 1y ago

@Erin P **lost to this

Username: dorseela000dorseela000

Date posted: 1y ago

@Erin P Thank you!! This is really helpful. I think I’m starting to understand the concept of ERP. Run towards the fear, and eventually the fear will become smaller or go away altogether. I was definitely using my “responses” as a compulsion without letting myself feel the anxiety. My ocd is Purely-O so it can be hard to catch it sometimes but it’s so relieving knowing if I put in the work there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Username: Erin PErin P

Date posted: 1y ago

@dorseela000 You’re welcome. Shala Nicely dealt with pure-o at one point so her website may have other blogs they are even more useful for you. You got this.

Username: dorseela000dorseela000

Date posted: 1y ago

@Erin P Okay! I’ll check that out thank you ☺️

Username: Jordan B.Jordan B.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Commenting so I’m notified of other comments, I’ve been worried about the actual/eventual goal of ERP therapy too

Username: Erin PErin P

Date posted: 1y ago

For me the goal of ERP therapy is to get control of my OCD instead of having it control me. It is hard because you have to feel the fear / uncertainty/ anxiety in order to do exposures/ fight the thoughts. More later as I have to go get my son.

Username: Erin PErin P

Date posted: 1y ago

Sorry lots of detail but hope this helps. References that illustrate concept, ERP scripting and treating thoughts as noise: The short The Noise in Your Head YouTubes by Reid Wilson. https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/shoulders-back-the-man-in-the-park/

Username: healingLittl...

Date posted: 1y ago

Getting frustrated with the concept of ERP

I got diagnosed in October (even tho I’ve had very obvious symptoms since I was a young kid in hindsight) and started ERP soon after. At first, ERP seemed to make sense to me. The whole idea of exposing yourself to your triggers and overtime learning that there’s no real threat there, and learning to tolerate anxiety. But during this holiday season my harm theme has come up a bit again, due to being home with my family and their playing violent shows on TV. And it occurred to me that there seems to be no winning with ERP. I would sit there watching the violent shows with my family, and try my hardest to resist any mental compulsions, but then just be left feeling horrible and anxious all day. And I realized that I actually DON’T WANT to be desensitized to violence. I don’t want to get to a point where violent thoughts don’t make me anxious, because I think that would make me a less empathetic and less pure-hearted person. To get even more specific, if I have an intrusive thought that says “what if I kill my family like I just saw in that tv show?” the ERP response would be “maybe I will kill my family, maybe I won’t”. BUT THAT’S AWFUL. That just sounds stupid to me. How is anyone supposed to say such a thing or “accept uncertainty” about that?? I would rather keep doing my mental compulsion of blocking out the thought than even entertaining the “uncertainty” that I could hurt my family. So it’s like, if I let the violent thoughts be there, my options are 1: feel horrible all the time (which I think is an appropriate response to having horrible thoughts, but it’s still not a fun way to live), or 2: if I try to push them out, that’s supposedly a compulsion which is supposedly making the OCD worse, so there no winning in either scenario for me. Can anyone relate? What am I missing here? There’s gotta be a better solution or something I’m not understanding about ERP, right?

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Not understanding ERP

I am new to NOCD and I have been really battling to understand and accept ERP. I feel intense sadness all day everyday, I feel no relief from feelings of intense depression, which is probably caused by the OCD. I can't fathom how I am supposed to just accept this state of depression and constant fear and not allow myself any room for trying to fix myself. I want to fix myself, I want to get better, but apparently I am not supposed to feel that, I need to say that maybe I will get better or maybe I won't. I am not supposed to do anything and I just can't understand it. Please help

Username: Sunshine&flo...

Date posted: 1y ago

ERP to get better?

I still don't understand how ERP makes you feel better. If you are questioning your thoughts and saying maybe, maybe not, that won't make me feel better. I feel like I'll only feel more sick.

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