Does Harm OCD warp everything?

Does anyone here have harm OCD that tries to attack every single action and thought they do during the day? Mine is about killing my spouse. Now every time I hear something that entails the future or “doing what I gotta do” I am afraid if the thoughts showing up. And as I try to think “do therapy”, “find hobbies”, “get into yoga” the intrusive though appears and it’s “kill your wife” or “kill your wife and yourself afterwards”. It could attack a happy event to. Like you finally get that reimbursement you were waiting for on an online shopping return. And now you get it and you’re like : “Nice, thats done” and the the intrusive thought comes “cool, now you can kill your wife”. I’m under the impression I am becoming schizophrenic. I don’t hear a voice or see things though, and some days there are less occurrences than other days. It’s days where I don’t work and have a day out with the wife doing fun activities that the occurrences are less. But if I sit alone working in my office all they they appear all the time. This is very distressing and causes severe anxiety. Loosing appetite, head aches, becoming extremely irritable. This is the hardest thing I have ever go through.

Username: Dee CDee C

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m not an expert and passing along some information acquired in my OCD journey. When you fight against the thoughts, you’re signaling the brain to mark them as being important. We all have horrible thoughts. Those not having OCD will just shrug them off and not let them bother or give meaning to them. That’s contrary to those of us with OCD. It takes practice not to react to the thoughts or to follow them down the rabbit hole of trying to figure them out or seeking 100% of certainty. I know it’s easier said than done and you can do it!!!

Username: mikegrillimikegrilli

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Dee C Well said, Dee.

Username: mikegrillimikegrilli

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I can relate quite a bit.

Username: Scc08Scc08

Date posted: 1y ago

Yes, i think it is common among harm ocd. I have harm ocd too, and when people say things like “turn your thoughts into actions”, it makes me afraid that I will turn my harm thoughts into action. And all the little random things just make me afraid that i will hurt myself or my partner :( it is SO distressing, and sometimes i cant even tell if I want to do it or not, but if I had the choice, I don’t even want it to happen :(

Username: mikegrillimikegrilli

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Scc08 Yeah, I can second that. The not being able to tell if I won’t to do it or not causes me all kinds of distress.

Username: Mark.The.CanuckMark.The.Canuck

Date posted: 1y ago

@mikegrilli I think that if it stresses you out it’s because it is conflicting with your values. So deep down you don’t wanna do it. Not sure if that’s reassurance and I should refrain from doing that. I know with ERP you won’t get anxiety from these thoughts in the long run. Even the thought of wondering if you wanna do it or not. I think at that point we gotta be rational and say: I did the therapy to get rid of this anxiety. That’s why I can’t feel it. And I know what my values are. And if I think: “maybe you don’t know” that’s an intrusive thought and I wont react to it. Values over Fear! OCD wants you to react and do compulsions. Starve him/her. Don’t bite to his lures. He’s a monster that needs to be starved and ignored. He feeds of your fear and anxiety. And he will disguise himself in all sorts of ways to lure you in. You gotta tell him his cheap costume won’t fool you! And then go back to ignoring him.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Overwhelmed Harm OCD

I just had my first apt with my therapist. This came on very suddenly, almost overnight, for me and it’s causing me so much distress. I have been reading and I know that the brain sends thoughts the more you try to resist them. But I’m scared. I’m 46 and I never knew I had OCD tendencies and this literally happened overnight and now the harm thoughts are constant, all day, every day, and I feel like I’m going crazy. My life has been turned upside down. Does anyone else have the harm thoughts that are constant and involve many things/people?

Harm OCD

Username: Taylen

Date posted: 2y ago

Harm OCD

just a couple days ago i experienced this for the first time from watching the new DAHMER series. Im having intrusive images and thoughts of me harming or killing my loved ones and its so scary because i would never do it. It has me questioning if im crazy and im having severe panic attacks over 3 times a day. Im mentally and physically drained, i’ve told my mom about it and we are going to see a therapist tomorrow. Im scared to because idk if they specialize in OCD and if i tell them my thoughts they are gonna put me in the mental hospital or say im crazy and don’t have OCD, can any therapists on here or fellow people with Harm OCD let me know if you think im showing signs of it, i just want it to go away and to be able to sleep at night without severe overthinking.

Username: anonymoussehrh

Date posted: 1y ago

QUESTION

Oh, so I know that Harm Ocd targetted my family (grandma, little siblings) and my pets. I never ever been into violence before, I didn't enjoy watching horror movies or the news were just not interest for me because all they talked about was people getting killed and it ruined my mood. I would say my Harm Ocd often makes me feel like I want to kill (which is scaring me to death), after that I somehow calm myself down but after a few minutes my mind show images of my family and pets being killed by me and it gives me a feeling or though (I am not sure) in which leads me to believe it is satisying and that I want to do it. Everyday is the same and I am bothered I can't enjoy anything. Whenever I see something sharp on the kitchen table or tv shows my mind says "that would look good on someone's neck/chest/back" I am really afraid that I think like a psychopath... Also, I can't remember the love I have for my family and pets and I see them like objects (that's also scary), like it would be so easy to kill them. Please, help again 'cause I am really afraid I won't become what I hate the most.. Is it normal for Harm Ocd?

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Does Harm OCD warp everything?

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