Hi there! I really wonder.. is anyone out there that ever worked on ERP dealing with existential OCD and managed to get through this situation? If so, any ideas? Any tips?
I find what works best for my existential OCD is ACT (acceptance commitment therapy). Finding triggers for existential stuff has been pretty hard for me because I find it acts up the most when I’m doing something I enjoy. And I don’t really want to turn things I enjoy doing into exposures but I’ve been trying to! I find when I’m doing crafts or planning my future, my brain will be like “what’s the point of doing this if i could die tomorrow and it would mean nothing?” and I’ll just agree with it. “Yep for sure I could die tomorrow. Oh well!” “Thanks for that thought, maybe that’s true maybe it isn’t!” The more you find triggers and the more you kind of learn what your “true” fear is you can learn to accept the outcome of the fear as a possibility. It’s taken a while to be able to take my life back from existential OCD, but I’m slowly getting there. I can get excited about things now without having existential dread. I’m not sure if that makes much sense, I am extremely sleep deprived right now 😂
@Rayna_lp25 “I can get excited about things now without having existential dread.” I can relate to this! Has your experience of existential dread helped you, in terms of being more intentional with what you choose to spend your time on?
@S.C. I still have a few struggles with doing mundane things- I’ll get some “what’s the purpose of this?” Quite often. But I’m able to just disregard the thoughts for the most part. It hasn’t really changed my perspective of life much, although I’m finding that I don’t get frustrated or angry with people really at all anymore. I’m not sure if it’s related to the existential stuff or if that’s just a coincidence
Yes. I'm in CBT therapy two years now and in medication (enlift) also. Last year I was getting better and better. Even if some intrusive existential thoughts may came then they left. The dose of medication was reduced to a half. But about 3 months ago I got stuck again. Am I alive? Do I actually see this? Is anything real? Some of the context. The truth is I'm getting better again. I once again increased the pill dose (this was advised by my psychiatrist/psychotherapist).
@agronace7 I’m sorry that you’re going through this, however I’m happy to hear that you’re on the right track. OCD loves to keep us stuck any way that it can. We never can give it 100% certainty, which is what he wants.
@MK30 What it wants* sorry, typo.
These are some good resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/existential-ocd, https://youtu.be/CDJI0hS4_Oc, https://youtube.com/shorts/F6xgZss94uU?feature=share
Hi there - are you currently in therapy for OCD?
I have contamination OCD that causes me to excessively wash my hands/clean items with disinfectant wipes. I know I just need to start with small exposures but how do I do that without spiraling? I tried a while back by just touching the outside of my dishwasher and not washing my hands after and it led to me being unable to even exist in my house. I basically lived on my couch for three weeks as it was the only 'safe' space that I had not touched with my dirty hands. I had to take a week off work to clean my house to make it somewhat liveable. I still haven't got round to cleaning everything though so things like my kitchen are still no-go zones that I don't enter. I just don't know how to start ERP without it making everything worse. Any advice would be appreciated. I am not seeing a therapist at the moment due to financial constraints.
Those of you who have overcome at least a bit, if not all, of your OCD. When you went through the CBT and ERP, did it feel like the end of the world? And how did you face the fact that your fears and uncertainties might actually come to life?
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
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