I know a big part of ERP therapy is to be okay with the uncertainty of thoughts, but my mind always wants to give the OCD thoughts certainty. I’m currently in OCD therapy for a few years but can’t seem to not immediately give the thoughts power and give certainty. I can give examples but don’t want to trigger someone…
I like to turn the game around on OCD. When OCD tells you something just agree with it. Be like “yep you’re right OCD.” And just move on. Whatever it says just go along with. Just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s true :). By agreeing with the thoughts you are taking away the fear tactic used by OCD.
@Greg2 Thank you!!
It helps me to remember thoughts are not facts and just thinking something does not make it true. In my experience, fighting the thoughts or trying to push them away often ends up increasing them. Often the more effective approach is to allow yourself to have the thought and respond with a neutral statement like “thanks” or “maybe it’s true maybe it’s not” without engaging any more or less than that. I know easier said than done, but with time and practice it does get better. Also, a therapist once gave me an analogy about thoughts not being facts that I still think of, when I need grounding regarding my OCD. She said “just because I think I’m a tomato doesn’t make me a tomato”. I remember my first initial response when she said that to me was me “that’s ridiculous”, But then I realized oh wait that’s the point. Recovery is not a straight line. Be kind and patient with yourself.
@Lisa LeeLou I love the tomato comment! Thanks!
This is definitely a struggle! You are not alone. I think one of the most difficult parts of having this illness is that often we know what we are thinking is illogical and yet the very mere chance of 'what of' or 'just in case' can feel so important in that very moment. One of the things I have been really focusing on lately is that it isn't that you are sitting in the possibility that the thoughts are true necessarily (in other words- we are not asking you to sit with the uncertainty that you are a mass murderer or a rapist, etc.)- rather that because you have OCD you will never feel certain enough so it's not even worth trying to convince yourself. When we get caught up in that trap of trying to reason or logic our way through the intrusive thoughts it just ends in more compulsions and more anxiety ultimately.
@NOCD Therapist - Stacy Q. Thank you for this. My resistance to erp has always been that I don’t want to accept that I could be xyz. That would only lead me to do more compulsions. But to say that I would never be certain because I have ocd, still sounds like mild erp in a way that I could still live my life.
@NOCD Therapist - Stacy Q. Very helpful Stacy.
@68273 Yes I agree with this. Far easier to proceed with ERP if you look at it this way. I’ve avoided doing ERP too as I am not prepared to accept my thoughts may be true when logically I know they’re not. I believe that would make things worse. This way seems much more sensible.
@Angel20 - Thank you so much!
@NOCD Therapist - Stacy Q. Thank you so much! I really do resonate with what you said about how we will never feel certain enough.
Jon Kabat-Zinn. Tara Brach. 2 excellent Mindfulness Meditation experts. I highly recommend. Look up one of their "CDs" Probably one for beginners, start from the beginning and go from there. When i started practicing Mindfulness I must've listened to one of JKZ's CDs for beginners 1,000 times! Of course some parts I listened to over and over again and other parts only a few times - enough to fully grasp it but other tracks seemed better for me. Go into it with an open mind, not knowing what to expect. Give it a substantial amount of time before you decide it does not work for you, at least 3 or 4 weeks of formal, every day practice. Be honest with yourself about giving it a good enough trial to know if it works or not for you - you're only hurting yourself if you're not honest.
@AO Thank you!
yeah, i struggle w this too. im doing day 2 of this one exposure therapy and im really really anxious to start it. i immediately have ocd thoughts and automatically think it’s for certain and it’s so hard for me to not think those things especially because i will never truly know. i don’t know how to get outta my head w these thoughts or to make myself not hold onto them. i wish i could give advice , but i just wanna say youre not alone
Hi there - the thing with OCD is that we cannot give it certainty. ERP therapy helps us with that and to learn how to tolerate the uncertainty.
This is a daily applying ERP practice for those of us with OCD. Like yesterday I saw something online then immediately began to overthink, I then realized what I was doing and stopped thinking and said “I don’t need to figure this out, I can be free of these emotions” and I stopped thinking and moved on. That’s the goal, and it can be hard to even know if we are trying to gain certainty because we try to rationalize it, thats why sitting and not thinking as practiced in ERP is helpful I believe. Have you talked to your therapist about this? I’m sure they can help you realize what is keeping you stuck right now! ❤️
@hellopeople Thank you! My appointment is tomorrow so I will.
Are you actively practicing mindfulness everyday?
@Nica As in, deep breathing and relaxing? Or is there certain mindful practices you recommend? Because no, I don’t think I am.
@smilingthroughit Deep breathing is also helpful, but I’d highly recommend practicing Mindfulness on a daily basis. This is a lifelong practice but it is worth it for a more steady life. I highly suggest looking into Thich Nhat Hanh. His style of mindfulness isn’t religious and open to all and he makes it very easy to follow and understand what mindfulness truly means.
@Nica Thank you!!
One area for me that OCD effected was getting out if the car wondering if my door hit the card next to me. So I would take time go to a parking lot, park next to a car then get out and go to the back of my car and get back into the car. And if I looked at the car next to where I parked then that time didn’t count, which it did happened. Then I noticed one day “This isn’t bothering me like it used to. I know you can say “No” to OCD 👍.
I find these two tools helpful - they may help you: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/shoulders-back-the-man-in-the-park/
@Erin P These were helpful. Thanks for sharing
@salwj You’re welcome. Glad there were useful. I use them a lot.
@Erin P Thank you so much for these articles!!
@smilingthroughit ❤️
You have been doing ocd therapy for years?
Thank you!
Accepting uncertainty feels like I'm accepting my intrusive thoughts (that I know are false) as truth. Does anyone else deal with this thought and have any tips to avoid thinking this? (I know it's my OCD telling me this so I can continue ruminating and "proving intrusive thoughts wrong", but it's a thought that makes me feel like ERP will make things worse)
For those practicing erp whether it be with a therapist or by yourself, how do you just sit with the anxiety/uncertainty? I've been trying, but it's extremely hard because I know what is true about myself even though my brain is trying to convince me otherwise. How do you guys get through eerp without it just sounding like you're confirming the thoughts?? I'm struggling here.
One for the therapists or those that have done ERP or followed some of the advice on here.... If the best way to deal with the intrusive thought is to not give it certainty and to say "that might happen, who knows?" then surely you're fuelling the thought which is going to heighten anxiety levels? For example if you have POCD and have a thought such as "What if I think sexual thoughts about that child?" and you sit with the thought saying to yourself "I might do, I might not" surely that's going to make you ruminate on it and we're told rumination is wrong. Or another example "I'm going to hurt myself later" and then thinking "maybe I will, I don't know" you're just going to make yourself worse? If there's a chance that thought is gonna come true it's make you feel worse surely? Please tell me if I'm wrong and I've got the wrong end of the stick here but it's been playing on my mind. Surely it's better to ignore the thought the entirely or just observe it as if to say haha yeah OK keep trying to tell me that, that's ridiculous. Advice and thoughts appreciated.
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