I’m so sad

I know how you feel- it can feel really disheartening, but on the other hand, having a diagnosis means that you can get the correct treatment and your days will be bright again. ❤️

I was not happy at first with being diagnosed with OCD. To me it felt like another hard thing to have to deal with. I had previously been diagnosed with depression, anxiety & PTSD. I experienced trauma in my childhood & so these diagnosis I had expected when I finally started to see therapists in my 30’s to seek our help in healing from that trauma. I thought that trauma was behind all of my struggles internal struggles over the years. 12 years of talk therapy did not help me. Sometimes I would do a little better for a short amount of time between therapists, but it never lasted very long & I was right back where I was before. I am 48 years old & only got a diagnosis of ocd in 2022. I’ve struggled with what I now know is ocd for my whole life. I always just thought that it was normal to be in your head, thinking as much as I did & getting lost inside myself. After my ocd diagnosis, I was angry. First off I didn’t want one more thing to be “wrong” with me. I did not want one more thing to have to work on, something else that I knew would be a hard thing after so much time spent living this way. Then I was angry that nobody else ever saw it in me. Not therapists, psychiatrists, doctors, my family. Nobody. I stayed angry for awhile. But the anger really only got in the way of my erp therapy. One day I realized that none of those things I was angry about were anything I could change. I realized that the only thing that matters now is that I know I have ocd now. I have it. Nothing will change that. And now, knowing this, I can get the right kind of treatment that will help me to recover. My ocd will never be cured. For lack of a bette word. But it can be managed & I can live in recovery then. Sure my ocd may come back up at times, but at least then I will have the tools to use that will help, if & when that happens. You are in the right place. You have the diagnosis now. It’s okay to be mad about having ocd. Grieve that if you feel it. And while you are doing that get in with an erp trained specialist who does therapy for ocd specifically. Utilize the community here & check out some of the support groups. We’re all in it together. We get it here.

i felt similar to the way that you did, but i want you to know, there are positive feelings that can come out of this too. after you’ve taken the time to mourn what you thought about yourself and what this diagnosis means for you, there can be euphoria of finally having a piece of the puzzle, and satisfaction when therapy actually starts working where it otherwise hasn’t before. im excited for you to get to that point

Please consider getting help from someone specially trained in ocd therapy, using Exposure & Response Prevention or reach out to the NOCD Care Team available through this app. Hoping this helps you!!!

You’re not alone in this. OCD is much more common than you think. You have people on this app going through the same things and I promise you can get the support you need. OCD doesn’t have to control your life, and you can still live meaningfully. With ERP you’ll find relief with time and patience. I agree with KazePeriwinkle - take time to grieve and have compassion for yourself. Stay strong!

OCD can be managed with ERP therapy so it can get better. You had it before you went in today - what’s changed is you now know what you have which means you can get treatment to help you manage it.