exhausted

i want to sit with the discomfort i dont want to follow my rituals but i cant do it it feels so wrong i have the consistent feeling that something bad will happen like my grades getting worse or that something embarrassing will happen to me or that my bf is cheating on me. i just want assurance that none of this will happen. on the one hand i know it wouldn’t happen but on the other hand what if it does? this freaks me out i want this to stop im 18 and i can’t live my life like i want to because of ocd this is exhausting

Username: moonjoy

Date posted: 87d ago

wow . i relate to this so much. im 21 yrs old & im going through this too. i hate it . one of my ocd themes are that my bf is cheating, likes other girls, stares at other girls, doesn’t love me , will leave me etc & i feel the NEED to ask for reassurance because my ocd tells me that if i dont get reassurance then it means that its true . it’s so tiring and draining me . the thoughts RANDOMLY pop up too . ill be at work & then randomly a thought will come to mind and i don’t wanna act on my compulsions and ask for reassurance , so then i sit with it and it eats at me . another thing is any little thing can trigger me . my bf can get a notification on his phone and then my mind sometimes goes to “that’s probably a girl he likes” . or he can say he’s gonna hang w a coworker and my mind will be like “that’s probably a girl coworker” even though i know he wouldn’t do these things , like you said as well.

Username: vivi2004

Date posted: 87d ago

@moonjoy i understand you and its insane but it calms me dont that im not alone with that. like sometimes i think im a bad person but im not, im not my thoughts and you are neither i hope it will get better ♥️

Username: moonjoy

Date posted: 87d ago

@vivi2004 i appreciate that a lot. i hope it will get better for you as well. we got this , exposure therapy is hard but we can do this. i always try to infusion myself not having these thoughts anymore & that’s what motivates me

Username: moonjoy

Date posted: 87d ago

@moonjoy LOLLL i meant **envision myself not infusion

Username: moonjoy

Date posted: 87d ago

@vivi2004 & yeah i get that, sometimes simply just knowing someone else is going thru the same exact thing helps you calm down a bit

Username: moonjoy

Date posted: 87d ago

@vivi2004 like legit rn im having the thoughts of “my bf probably always stares at other women & likes them” & that’s because i went on tiktok & i saw a tiktok of this girl & she was pretty so my ocd thoughts went crazy like “bet he looks at women like this” & i hate it

Username: vivi2004

Date posted: 87d ago

@moonjoy he is your bf for a reason always think about that your amazing have you talked to him about how you feel?

Username: moonjoy

Date posted: 86d ago

@vivi2004 he knows about my triggers & trauma and he supports me . one of my compulsions are asking for reassurance so ive been trying not to ask too much & i dont always wanna explain my thoughts just because then i know thatll make me ask for reassurance. i appreciate that a lot

Username: vivi2004

Date posted: 84d ago

@moonjoy glad to hear that