Help !

Yes, I believe so bc you’re experiencing high levels of stress and anxiety.

Stress alone causes it. If you are too stressful and thinking about it then it can cause this issue.

Hi what I am going through it’s hell right mine started with a passing comment at work,and also my relationship at the time was toxic and that didn’t help my ex wouldn’t let me watch anything with girls in it movies tv programs the lot and on top of that she wouldn’t show her body I started doing night shifts 12 hours every day I was really tired and one of the guys fell out with his girl friend and that is when he went on the say I can see why gay guy are happy they don’t have women in the life like 5-10 minutes from the comments being said I thought came in to my head saying I am gay I was like uh what no this don’t make no since started to look on internet I know now that was a bad idea but at the time I didn’t it was horrible I was like so has my whole life been a lie I kept running to the toilet every five minutes it only got worse as time went on I have never before thought of this kinds of thing as a teen and a young adult it just don’t line up I have never been in to guys only women it is hell every day it got to the point where I feel like I am in denial even know deep down I know that isn’t the case I even went as far to go on gay porn to see if I liked it I was gagging and couldn’t even look at the screen I was shaking I was like what am I doing while my thoughts where was like you do like this I was like no I really don’t I even feel like I have lost my attraction to girls I have enough of this just want old me back i also looked up can sexuality change and the internet was like you I was supper triggered and was like how this has been going on for 3 years now

Kyle you’re story is almost identical to my experience & current battle with HOCD. As for the comment above said, in the beginning it’s the snowball effect, going down the rabbit hole, sheer fear/panic, the gay test, avoiding tv with men, gay themes etc, I’ve never watched gay porn & don’t intend to but I can see where your mind would go, because it’s general sense of sexual stuff, as you are like hey when’s the chick going to join here ? LOL You feel severe intrusive thoughts out of nowhere, lingering. I’ve never been attracted or into guys, had zero doubts of sexuality, always dated girls, never was aroused by men etc. Until late 20s I was high (marijuana) where ED happened, then the next day I saw picture of a male on TV with a shirt off and it all began. its a living hell yes, BUT Obviously some better days then others. It’s been ongoing for 5 years but I finally got the balls to start ERP therapy this month. Even doing that was sheer fear, omg I can’t believe I have to do this kind of feeling. So far so good. Medication like SSRIS helped a ton in 4 years but they faded, searching for a new daily med because of anxiety & now I’m doing the work with the therapist. ED can be caused by overthinking in general it’s awful, embarrassing and causes anxiety been there you are not alone. The best thing is a dose of daily meds and ERP Therapy. I put this shit off for 5 year out of fear but we both have to face it dead on.

So far it’s been pretty decent. Good therapist. Still having intrusive thoughts from triggers and seeing erp. But I’m in the 3rd week of ERP. It’s difficult but have to do the work. I feel okay more comfortable seeing gay stuff now and I try to use the tools you lay out with your therapist to bring the level down.