- Date posted
- 2y ago
Brain feels broken
Does anyone feel like their brain just doesn’t function normally and it never will for the rest of their life 😂
Does anyone feel like their brain just doesn’t function normally and it never will for the rest of their life 😂
Also feel like I’ve been dealing with SO-OCD every single day for months now. Is this normal? It’s something I can’t shake. I think about it all the time.
Yes, but I keep faith that I can rewire the brain. It’ll just take patience & strength. You got this
My brain feels like mush
I understand the frustration you mentioned. I’m 62 and I’ve had OCD since my 20’s. So I’ve feed OCD for about 40 years not knowing what it was. 2 years ago it skyrocketed and I have now been with NOCD for 1 1/2 years. I don’t know if you have OCD or if you’re seeing a NOCD counselor. What I can say is NOCD has been a huge help for me. I don’t know if you know of ERP (exposer and response prevention), that is doing what raises your anxiety and don’t do what you usually do to have the anxiety the anxiety go away. For me I was doing ERP about 10 months then I noticed things weren’t bothering me as much. I am still working on my ERP everyday. OCD is treatable. What I have found so helpful with NOCD is they treat OCD and guild folks how to get to where OCD doesn’t have as strong of a grip on you. I would recommend the free 15 min. call they offer. The only difference between you and me is what triggers us. I know you can say “No” to OCD.
@LowellT Does it help with the ruminating? One of the worst parts is these thought just go on forever and it is exhausting. It’s like an annoying friend who won’t stop about how they beat you at a video game. Eventually you have to leave that friend, but OCD doesn’t leave.
I understand that ruminating can ruin things. I like to ride the bike but I wasn’t doing as much because when I would ride my bike it was like OCD would kick in I would ruminate so the bike ride was not fun. So with doing things like a bike ride I think I will do the bike ride and I don’t care if I ruminate or not. I can’t let OCD make my world smaller. With doing ERP the anxiety can last but sooner or latter it goes away. If I think I hit someone with my car, I just think “Yep I did.
Sorry I hit send by mistake.
When I begin to debate realty with OCD I loose. OCD will always bring up one more what if. For me the best way to have the thought fade out is agree with it. Is it difficult? Yes.
Another example of ERP for me was I would think my car door hit the car next to me when I parked. So my ERP was going to a parking lot park next to a car get out walk to the back of my car get back in my car and leave and not look at the car next to me. If I did I would have to redo it. I did that again, again, again etc. When the anxiety would rise I would just get on with my day. Now it isn’t nearly the problem it was before. To your analogy of someone who beats you at the computer game. When we ignore that type of person they stop talking to us. It is similar with OCD if we just let it be there and not respond to it it fades away.
@LowellT You are encouraging. From my reading I think I can do this but I will need a therapist. I think I am missing some steps. I’m in the pure OCD and ROCD camp so it’s not as much physical action that I have to stop. I’m glad to hear that you were able to make great strides in this battle and you are encouraging me that I can do the same
@Green Dragon I have found getting counseling with NOCD has been a huge help. They were able to help me make a calculated plan to have OCD be less influential in my life. For me what helps is knowing OCD has only one weapon and that is doubt. Like, was there germs on the door knob? Did I just insult someone by what I just said? Am I . . . ? It helps me because no matter the issue that OCD raises it’s just plan ol doubt. I apologized to my wife literally 1,000 times last year every one felt so real and so needed, but it wasn’t. So when the compulsion to say “I’m sorry” raises its head I sat through the anxiety. It was not fun by any means. My “What ifs” were going through my mind the anxiety was there. But over time by not giving into OCD it is way less of an issue now. With OCD we have to retrain ourselves to not give weight to a every thought our brain gives us. Our brains produce a lot of OCD spam. I know you can say “No” to OCD one compulsion at a time 👍.
Thank you for letting me know. I fully get what you are saying with the bike ride. Have you been able to deal with stuff that’s more of a mental issue. Like when you watch a movie and the OCD is kicking your seat during the movie making so you loose focus on it or worse not enjoying it because the OCD just won’t stop talking smack about the movie. I’m hoping one day to be able to enjoy thinking without the inner monologue running on autopilot
@Green Dragon One thing my NOCD councilor said to me was even when OCD is yelling in the background work at enjoying the present moment you are in and still let OCD do it’s thing. I have heard it put that OCD can’t live in the present. It is either causing anxiety about something in the past or future. So as we enjoy the present OCD can loose it’s grip on us.
I have a lot of thoughts about the universe, and they’re overwhelming—like being caught in a rip current, except it’s all inside my head. Most of the time, they’re about how small we are, how there really isn’t a “we” because our bodies aren’t truly ours—we’re just bacteria, cells, and microbes. The thoughts spiral, deeper and deeper, smaller and smaller, coiling until suddenly, I’m pulled under, drowning in a whirlpool. I’ve never felt like this before, and I’m convinced I’ve been faking it somehow. For the past few weeks, my OCD has been worse than it’s ever been in my 20 years of life. Or maybe I’m just more aware of it now. Has anyone else had their OCD suddenly get really bad? Does it ever end—if it even can? I’ve convinced myself that my intrusive thoughts aren’t actually intrusive, that my OCD is a choice, and that everything I do is intentional. As for compulsions, I don’t have the typical “If I don’t do ____ then ____ will happen” kind of thoughts. Instead, my brain simply commands, “Do ____,” and I always give in. It’s so loud in my head, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m an imposter. Like I don’t belong here—like my presence on this app is an intrusion, invalidating everyone else’s struggles just by downloading it and daring to post. If anyone feels that way, if you think I’m intruding, I’m sorry. I only came here because I have no one to share my diagnosis with. Pouring my thoughts out, hoping someone might understand, feels less suffocating than journaling. Journaling is like letting a wound fester—each word burying the thoughts deeper, leaving them to decay in silence, for nobody to ever read but myself.
I’m struggling so bad. I actually started getting better but now my thoughts are back. I feel like I can’t do anything, watch a movie “oh you’re turned on by that”, go out shopping “oh you’re trying to look pretty for her”. Like what???? My brain just won’t stop!!!!!! It’s making me so depressed, I just feel like I’m about to lose it. I’m happily married, and absolutely in love with my husband. But my brain keeps saying “you’re gay! You’re bi” whatever. I’m so tired guys, I feel so alone, and this has been going on for months…
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
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