- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah I didn’t know I had depression but it turns out that feeling like your not really real or living life like a daze is depression based
- Date posted
- 6y
What type of theme(s) does your Pure O latch on to? Can you describe your OCD experience a bit more?
- Date posted
- 6y
It started when I was 11, went through a situation at school in which two girls spread a rumour about me making a silly video about someone (I had done this but was only in an innocent way taking the mickey, I was a kid). I lied that I didn’t do it (even though I did) as the whole school didn’t like me, my dad went to the school and defended me, and it dawned on me one day that I had actually done it, but because I lied so easily I think I started to not trust myself/doubt myself. The first intrusive thought was following this on a school trip when I was 11 of “what if I don’t love my parents”. Silly I know, but I was distraught, and because I was embarrassed never told my parents really. From then on I experienced thoughts such as that I’d sexually touched/abused my brother, in all my relationships I’ve had cheating thoughts/visions that I’ve cheated which have left me in states many times. I’m lucky to have an amazing partner now who’s so understanding and supports me with going through this. Inappropriate thoughts (like I’m going to swear, touch someone inappropriately/do something out of character). Mainly all things that are very far from my character, as most of the time with OCD. However for the last few years I’ve suffered with this distant/dissociated state and we’re unsure wether it’s a way of my brain protecting me (as the state sort of keeps me from having as many intrusive thoughts) or its an OCD theme in itself. I also check things, like I can look that I’ve put something in my bag but cos I’m in a trance most of the time I don’t trust myself/have to keep checking. I’m just so unsure where to begin, have had talking therapy and helped for a little while but then some real life stuff came up and I started to feel bad again. Am seeing a hypnotherapist but only helps like for 10 minutes after the session.
- Date posted
- 6y
I struggled w depression most of the time I had ocd and I still do wich causes thoughts like is it worth it to keep living or what’s the point of doing anything and then I just call it out- call it what it is depression
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s weird though cos I love my life, it’s almost like a trance/I feel removed from situations. I feel like life’s not real and I wonder if that’s an OCD thought that I’ve fielded, it’s just so hard to tell what is what
- Date posted
- 6y
*fueled
- Date posted
- 6y
My psychiatrist said depersonalization happens when my anxiety is too high for too long. I also get it from one of the meds I was taking and had to start only taking it at night. Are you on meds?
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve been in various meds over the years, I’m currently on 10mg of duloxetine but havnt noticed a difference at all. My therapist is going to write a letter so hopefully I’ll be referred to a psychiatrist and apparently they can recommend more suitable meds. Do you mind if I ask what you are on? Thanks for your reply
- Date posted
- 6y
I started Prozac about a month or two ago. I can't tell if it's helping but apparently it can take 12 weeks. The med that was causing the derealization was an antipsychotic called Risperidone
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for that, wishing you luck with it. Are you working with a psychiatrist/therapist? I’ve done so much research and have found apparently only ERP works for OCD, though there is no one in my area that seems to specialise in it
- Date posted
- 6y
I've started ERP and have a therapist and the workbook, but I'm having such a hard time with it. I'm even ocd about my homework, and keep thinking this time the thought is real and not just OCD and I should do something about it or bad things will happen.
- Date posted
- 6y
Talk therapy is great, but for OCD, it’s best to see a specialist. Unfortunately, what works for other mental illnesses is sometimes the exact opposite approach to what someone with OCD needs. Like reassurance, for example. Most talk therapists will provide plenty of it. But an OCD specialist knows that’s the one thing they shouldn’t provide because it only feeds OCD. Exposure and response prevention (ERP) is specifically for OCD. If you can see a specialist, I’d highly recommend it. I too have suffered from feeling disassociated and depersonalized at various points in my life. And I can see how it could be a way of protecting yourself from intrusive thoughts: the more we don’t care, the less the thoughts can get to us. Reengaging in your emotions without also reengaging in intrusive thoughts is a huge hurdle. And again, I do think an OCD specialist could really help guide you through it. If you’re going to tackle OCD, you’re going to have to get good at ERP and mindfulness. As far as where to start, I think mindfulness sounds perfect for you. It would help you feel more present which would help lessen that foggy/forgetful feeling. It will also give you some great tools for letting intrusive thoughts happen without either engaging with the thoughts or disengaging yourself from your life. There are a lot of good workbooks you can buy about mindfulness as well as guided meditations you can do. Once you’re feeling more present, ERP would be the next step. Depending on the particular theme you want to address, you’d then need to create a fear hierarchy and start slowly exposing yourself to greater and greater triggers.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks so much for your help guys, have pressed on for so long but can’t take any more of it. Just wanna get better and start enjoying life/feeling things again. I’m in the UK but are there any companies/Skype ERP therapists anybody can recommend? As it dosnt seem a big thing where I am
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi guys! I’m new to the community and I’ve recently received my OCD diagnosis (tho I’ve known about it since childhood). I’ve been somewhat spiraling lately as I wait for my first ERP session (hooray!) I was just wondering if any of you guys have received ERP for existential OCD and if it was successful? My existential OCD compulsions are more so mental and have been affecting me in the sense of dream/memory flashbacks and giving me a sort of “uncanny” feeling about everything around me. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you❤️
- Date posted
- 11w
Hi, I’m new to the app as of today. I’m 20 years old, and wanted to get some stuff off my chest about the types of OCD I’ve been experiencing over the years. I’m not entirely sure how or when my OCD was brought up, but I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Anywhere and everywhere I go, if I see things placed in an order/angle that my brain doesn’t approve of, next thing I know I’m “fixing” it to be in the placement I feel looks better. I’m not aware of why I feel the need to do that, but until an object is in the “right” placement, I won’t take my eyes off of it. My eye will even twitch. Another form of OCD I have is in relationships. I spend each day overthinking and over-analyzing every one of the relationships that are important to me. Friends, family, significant other. Another one is what’s considered “Pure OCD” . When I get an intrusive thought of something devilish, whether it’s randomly seeing my great aunt naked bc my grandma considers her “fat” even though she’s not, or it’s seeing something demonic and traumatizing, I immediately tell myself, “I don’t wanna see/think about that” over and over and over until the thought is gone. Or I’ll try to replace one mental image with another. One other form of OCD I face every day, is religion. I got baptized for the first time in my life earlier this year in January. I had finally started to repent for my sins, and now I’m constantly feeling afraid that I’m letting God down due to my depression/lack of motivation and vaping/smoking. I also fear excessively that He’ll banish me from His kingdom, or just turn a cold shoulder. I know that what I’ve just typed up is probably all over the place. That is my brain unfortunately. How do you go from being a mentally disorderly and seemingly erratic young woman, to a more well-established, successful woman? I’m all ears!
- Date posted
- 6w
I am having a real hard time with meta-ocd and thoughts about feeling depressed and be like this forever. Or the thought I never feel normal again or never feel connected to normal life things and normal people. The intrusive thoughts are here like the whole day and they are all about my mental health. And I obsess about how I feel and what I feel with everything I do. It’s so hard to explain. If someone- a therapist or someone who dealt with this has tips or word of encouragement right now, that would me great. I feel like everything I want to learn myself about ocd and coming to this forum also is a bit compulsive. It is so confusing 🫤
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