- Username
- lifeofm
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Have you already done some exposures?
What are somethings that helped you get better?? Also I’m happy you’re getting better!!
I find that watching coming out videos on YouTube and reading lesbian coming out stories on websites on curve magazine.com have really created some good exposure for me
http://www.curvemag.com whoops this is the link!
Ok I’ve actually done both of those and they make my intrusive thoughts go crazyyyy. Sorry for all the questions but what are some of your compulsions? I’m trying to figure out some of my so that would really help!
No worries I totally understand! My compulsions have changed over time but I would constantly check myself when talking to people, worried that I would be appearing like I was into them romantically, I would always obsess over whether or not my feelings of love for people of the same gender meant that I was gay, I would take “am I gay” quizzes like daily, watch YouTube videos of coming out stories and comparing them to my life to test myself and see if I was experiencing the same things as they were, looking at pictures of women on social media to test whether or not I found them attractive, just stuff like that ?
I do a lot of checking, I always say to myself do I like that girl? Am I attracted to her? Things like that, or I will do it will the opposite sex. Like I’ll see a cute boy and notice him and then check to see if the feeling are real. Yesterday me and my mom were watching Frank Ocean perform and she was talking about how good looking he is and I thought the same but the whole time I was checking to make sure I actually felt the same and I wasn’t lying. I used to do a lot of tests, “am I gay” “how to know if you have hocd” just to prove to myself that I was fine. I’ve kind of stopped with the taking tests but I used to do it a lot. I do get urges to look stuff up a lot but I don’t let myself do it. Thank you for your help! That helped identify some of my compulsions!!❤️
I completely know what that feeling is like I was just doing that the other day while watching a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio! When I was younger and don’t have hocd I would usually just think he was really attractive and stuff, but when I started questioning everything it’s almost like my “usual” feelings of attraction would go away and I would have to test myself, which was constant! I’m glad that you’re resisting the urge to do the tests, I know it can be really difficult! Of course! Reach out to me anytime, I don’t know anyone else personally with HOCD in my life so it’s always comforting to talk to someone who knows what it’s like- thank you!! :)?
Mine*
If anyone needs help in exposures or something they are struggling with I’m open to help! I’ve been dealing with OCD, anxiety, and depression for a long time now. I’ve got a pretty firm understanding on the mechanism of OCD and ERP. I am struggling with depression strongly at the moment but I’ve seen large and tangible progress with ERP ?
It’s been a few months since I’ve been on here and I’m happy to say it’s because I am pretty much pure o, ocd free! This app really did help so much! I want to share the things that helped me get a grip on ocd. I don’t want to use the words “recover or control” because ocd is a part of our brains but it doesn’t mean it has to be a distressing part. I had my first ocd flare up in Nov and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was crying and panicking almost every night for weeks, looking back I can’t believe I made it through the things I needed to do in life because I was a mess. But now I look at things like atleast I know what it is and how to deal with it when it comes. So here are my tips. 1. Reading about intrusive thoughts and pure o online and in books. I consumed as much knowledge about ocd as I could. 2. Starting erp therapy on my own and with a therapist. Though I do have a therapist to guide me 100% of erp is the work I put in. I would try all the recommendations of erp from accepting the thought, to making myself have the thoughts as practice, resisting compulsions, changing the way I reacted and thought about an intrusive thought, now this isn’t easy... but I did it all the time even when I felt the panic feeling and even when the ocd was strong, even when I didn’t believe it. I faked it until I made it 3. Practice is helpful, it took days of hard work especially in the first few months but that’s what I did, I considered every day, every intrusive thought as practice 4. Once I stopped the compulsions, (luckily mine weren’t very strong and I cut them off quick) I began thinking the thoughts that bothered me, and slowly added more disturbing content into my life (my ocd was harm ocd mainly) 5. I told myself that “yes that bad thought is real” and didn’t try to comfort my intrusive thought or push it away, if ocd said I was crazy and going to be locked in a facility then I agreed, I would say it in my head and sometimes out loud “yup your right ocd I’m crazy” 6. After acceptance and exposure I began working on being kinder to myself, I didn’t think that this step was crucial but it is.... ocd wants us to suffer and in a way it’s like by giving it power I wanted to suffer too, I told myself that ocd is a liar and I don’t want to suffer, it’s ok that I have ocd I accept it but now I must be gentle with myself 7. Learning to always default to these things when an intrusive thought happens, so much so that my brain does it naturally now ...a) hi ocd that’s cool but I’d rather not think about that and I continue doing what I’m doing, this is hard in the beginning but gets easier b) sure ocd I am definitely crazy but again I think I’d rather keep watching this show c) I am okay with the possibility of that happening but now is not the time for me to figure that out d) you are a liar and separate from me but thanks for the interesting thought ...8. Remembering these things: ocd is a liar, a thought isn’t sumthing u control but what u do with it is, if you don’t want to do something you won’t because of your morals and free will, this concept took me awhile to grasp but repetition is key. Almost everyone get intrusive thoughts so you aren’t unique or alone. I’ve learned through the ups and downs of erp how to combat my intrusive thoughts, how to be kinder to myself and how to change the way I think in order to live a better life. I still get an intrusive thought occasionally when I’m sticky but the way I think about the thought is so automatic now and so relaxed because of the work I’ve put in! If you are working towards erp don’t stop, keep going! I feel you, I know it’s hard and exhausting... 11 months ago I thought I was going crazy I was in the worst place of my life flash to today and it’s like I never even had ocd! You can do this I promise xx
Hey nOCD Fam! Opening up a Q+A session all day today if you have any questions on OCD Recovery and what life is like in recovery with OCD still there but maintained, if you are a skeptic if it because you are suffering so much, how ERP worked for me, anything. Love chatting with you guys, thanks for letting me lend a hand!
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