- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Have you already done some exposures?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
What are somethings that helped you get better?? Also I’m happy you’re getting better!!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I find that watching coming out videos on YouTube and reading lesbian coming out stories on websites on curve magazine.com have really created some good exposure for me
- Date posted
- 5y ago
http://www.curvemag.com whoops this is the link!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ok I’ve actually done both of those and they make my intrusive thoughts go crazyyyy. Sorry for all the questions but what are some of your compulsions? I’m trying to figure out some of my so that would really help!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
No worries I totally understand! My compulsions have changed over time but I would constantly check myself when talking to people, worried that I would be appearing like I was into them romantically, I would always obsess over whether or not my feelings of love for people of the same gender meant that I was gay, I would take “am I gay” quizzes like daily, watch YouTube videos of coming out stories and comparing them to my life to test myself and see if I was experiencing the same things as they were, looking at pictures of women on social media to test whether or not I found them attractive, just stuff like that ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I do a lot of checking, I always say to myself do I like that girl? Am I attracted to her? Things like that, or I will do it will the opposite sex. Like I’ll see a cute boy and notice him and then check to see if the feeling are real. Yesterday me and my mom were watching Frank Ocean perform and she was talking about how good looking he is and I thought the same but the whole time I was checking to make sure I actually felt the same and I wasn’t lying. I used to do a lot of tests, “am I gay” “how to know if you have hocd” just to prove to myself that I was fine. I’ve kind of stopped with the taking tests but I used to do it a lot. I do get urges to look stuff up a lot but I don’t let myself do it. Thank you for your help! That helped identify some of my compulsions!!❤️
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I completely know what that feeling is like I was just doing that the other day while watching a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio! When I was younger and don’t have hocd I would usually just think he was really attractive and stuff, but when I started questioning everything it’s almost like my “usual” feelings of attraction would go away and I would have to test myself, which was constant! I’m glad that you’re resisting the urge to do the tests, I know it can be really difficult! Of course! Reach out to me anytime, I don’t know anyone else personally with HOCD in my life so it’s always comforting to talk to someone who knows what it’s like- thank you!! :)?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Mine*
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Hi guys! I’m new to the community and I’ve recently received my OCD diagnosis (tho I’ve known about it since childhood). I’ve been somewhat spiraling lately as I wait for my first ERP session (hooray!) I was just wondering if any of you guys have received ERP for existential OCD and if it was successful? My existential OCD compulsions are more so mental and have been affecting me in the sense of dream/memory flashbacks and giving me a sort of “uncanny” feeling about everything around me. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 11w ago
December 14, 2024, marked two years since my first ERP therapy session with my NOCD therapist, Mixi. And October 2024 marked a year of being free from OCD. It was not an easy journey, confronting my fears face to face. Exposing myself to the images and thoughts my brain kept throwing at me, accepting that I might be the worst mother, that my daughter wouldn’t love me, and that I deserved to be considered a bad person. It was challenging having to say, “Yes, I am those things,” feeling the desire to run, but realizing the thoughts followed me. At the start of my therapy, I remember feeling like I couldn’t do this anymore. Life felt unbearable, and I felt so weak. I longed for a time before the OCD, before the flare-ups, before the anxiety, the daily panic attacks. I thought I’d never be myself again. But I now know that ERP saved my life. The first couple of sessions were tough. I wasn’t fully present. I lied to my therapist about what my actual thoughts were, fearing judgment. I pretended that the exposures were working, but when the sessions ended, I went back to not sleeping, constantly overwhelmed by fear and anxiety. But my therapist never judged me. She made me feel safe to be honest with her. She understood OCD and never faltered in supporting me, even when I admitted I had been lying and still continued my compulsions. My biggest milestone in therapy was being 100% transparent with my therapist. That was when real change began. At first, I started small—simply reading the words that terrified me: "bad mom," "hated," "unloved." Then, I worked on listening to those words while doing dishes—not completely stopping my rumination, but noticing it. Just 15 minutes, my therapist said. It wasn’t easy. At one point, I found myself thinking, “Will I ever feel like myself again?” But I kept pushing through. Slowly, I built tolerance and moved to face-to-face exposures—sitting alone with my daughter, leaning into the thought that my siblings might die, reading articles about my worst fears, and calling myself the things I feared. Each session was challenging, but with time, the thoughts started to lose their grip. By my eleventh session, I started to realize: OCD was here, and it wasn’t going away, but I could keep living my life despite it. I didn’t need to wait for it to be quiet or go away to move on. Slowly, it began to quiet down, and I started to feel like myself again. In fact, I am not my old self anymore—I’m a better version. OCD hasn’t completely disappeared, but it’s quieter now. Most of the time, it doesn’t speak, and when it does, I know how to handle it. The last session with my therapist was emotional. I cried because I was finishing therapy. I remember how, in the beginning, I cried because I thought it was just starting—because I was overwhelmed and terrified. But at the end, I cried because I was sad it was ending. It felt like I had come so far, and part of me wasn’t ready to say goodbye, even though I had already learned so much. It was a bittersweet moment, but I knew I was walking away stronger, equipped with the tools to handle OCD on my own. If I could change anything about my journey, it would be being open and honest from the beginning. It was the key to finding true healing. The transparency, the honesty—it opened the door to lasting change. I’m no longer that person who was stuck in constant panic. I’m someone who has fought and survived, and while OCD still appears from time to time, I know it doesn’t define me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments. Have you started therapy, is something holding you back? Is there something you want to know about ERP therapy? I'll be live in the app answering each and every one today from 6-7pm EST. Please drop them below!
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