Can an ocd event be traumatic

I’m reaching out for educational and self-awareness purposes, hoping to better understand something I’ve been mentally struggling with for several years. Around five years ago, I began having a deeply distressing memory involving the fear that I may have acted inappropriately toward my younger sister when I was around 13–14 years old. The details are vague, fragmented, and unclear—but ever since this thought first appeared, I’ve treated it as if it were a real event. I’ve carried immense guilt, fear, and anxiety for years, convinced that I must have done something horrible. Despite asking my sister (who remembers absolutely nothing, has never shown signs of discomfort, and has told me more than once that she would’ve spoken up if anything had happened), the doubt and guilt never went away. The memory feels real, yet there is no external confirmation, no direct recall, and no evidence beyond my own mental images and fear. I’ve also struggled with obsessive thoughts in other areas, such as health anxiety since childhood—frequent doctor visits, checking my pulse, obsessing over illness—and only recently learned about false memory OCD, which aligns with my experience. I’m not currently seeking therapy but would greatly appreciate your professional opinion from an educational perspective: Does this sound more like a real memory, or more likely a false memory created by OCD or anxiety-related mechanisms I am stuck between a normal person or a s*xual abuser

Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT

Really long vent sorry 😣 I don’t think I’ve experienced any specific or intense traumatic events but I do feel like I might have trauma. I particularly struggle with religion and idk how much of it is ocd and how much might be trauma or if they overlap? Maybe I’m just overeacting? I’ve been raised Christian (and I’m still really young ) I have an amazing supportive family and amazing friends and I feel like my life is perfect and I’m just complaining and everyone has it worse and that I’m invalidating their experiences!? But also my life is not perfect and my family IS a mess. I think I have body dysmorphia but maybe I’m just ugly and I sometimes wonder if I have Bpd but I’m too young to get diagnosed. How I see myself and how I feel changes so regularly and it’s really distressing! I constantly feel guilty for sinning and feel like I don’t deserve anything good. I constantly label everything I do as good or bad and whether I deserve love because of those things. (Particularly sexual thoughts and desires make me feel impure and disgusting) (I keep thinking sex=bad but idk if that’s true and idk who to talk to cos it’s embarrassing and my family is Christian) I feel a huge sense of relief when I think about not being Christian but then I feel guilty for feeling relieved. Idk how much of that could be ocd and how much could be some complex trauma? But I’m pretty sure I don’t believe Christianity but that I SHOULD believe but then that I’d be doing that for selfish reasons! I don’t want anyone to know how disgusting and sinful I am but I feel like I’m being manipulative if I don’t tell everyone everything and give them enough information to make their own decisions. I just want to stop existing because the constant spiralling and back and forth of my thoughts is just too much. The thing is that I would understand and care about anyone else going through similar things but I cannot bring myself to feel compassionate for myself because I must be perfect. I also recently watched Ginny and Georgia and triggered my body and eating issues and sh thoughts😭 I feel so weak all the time and I keep seeking some kind of validation or reason for my pain. I feel like I’ve left out too much and I’m just seeking reassurance here but that any reassurance I get will be fake or I’ll make heaps of people mad or something 😭😭😭 I feel so stuck right now I feel like people should hate me but I don’t want them to.