i feel like i’ve lost all my emotions. i’ve been through some trauma and instability this year plus my ocd started a year and some ago. i’m 14 and on 100 mg of sertraline. anybody have this or wanna talk about it?

Hey guys. Sorry, I was without a connection for a bit, it seems my phone provider cut me off due to not paying my bill. You are very welcome Applejaks, and thank you for the reply. It is very difficult when the pathways and Compulsions are so deeply carved, but you are right, the best way to move forward is to just put your foot down, grab the bull by the horns, and other analogies. Just do it (swoosh) As I am trying to do the same right now, I think I have found something that could help. It has certainly helped me. Look into a book called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I know that you are probably getting numerous suggestions of books and other material sent your way, but I will say that this one is exactly what I need to do what I am trying to do. It’s all about focusing on the now, and what you really want to do in your moment to moment of life. People like you, Scorpio, and myself find it really difficult to live in the present moment. We are always thinking about the past, or the possible future, and act based on what we have done and what we believe or feel our actions will cause to happen. As much as I like being alert and aware of what I do in life, it is clearly making things difficult for me and so I need to learn to do what a lot of other people seems to do naturally and live in the moment, the now. I have only read about 30 pages, but this book is good because it posits and covers a lot of the questions that I have had regarding such a different way of living life. Anyway, just a suggestion. I hope that helps you.

I was on 100 mg of Sertraline for over 4 years. Emotional blunting is one of the side effects of experienced. I felt like this side effect plus another one (low sex drive) has been outweighing the benefits of taking the medication. I recently told my doctor I want to taper off the Sertraline so that I can see if my emotions will return. Right now, I'm on 50 mg. My anxiety has been much more intense than it was on 100 mg, and I don't feel like I've really got my emotions back--at least not any of the good ones. I don't know whether I'll be able to completely taper off the medication soon. I'm taking it very slow.

Hey Scorpio, and also Applejaks. Apologies for the delayed reply, I have had a fairly full on day. Also I didn’t want to rush it as this is a fairly sensitive and complex subject. First of all I want to say that I absolutely advocate medication for treating OCD. That is when it is the best option for you, you life and your situation. To explain, I will elaborate on my background a bit. I was on about 100mg of Fluoxetine and 2.5mg of Risperidone at the beginning of my time in meds. At the end I had gone down to around 50mg and 1.5mg for the medication respectively. When I was in the early dose of Risperidone, I had pretty severe side effects. When I talked I trembled and when I walked I shook. After titration of both meds, the side affects subsided, but it was as you described. I didn’t feel much in terms of my emotions, and felt like everything was kind of ‘grey’, which is similar to how a person with depression sometimes describes their experiences. Because of this I am very adverse to going on medication now. The other thing is that I also felt like I wasn’t able to think very well, and had lost my ability to be creative. This was really scary, and for a long time I really felt that my creativity was gone and would never come back. I didn’t feel like myself. One thing that this so affecting to me is that I need the ability to create in my lifestyle and career. For these reasons I am trying to move forward from my Compulsions through any way other than medication. I am doing this mostly through Psychology, and fortunately have great psychologists to help me. Understand this though before you try and do the same. It is incredibly difficult, like trying to go against your own instincts. Now for your own questions. Scorpio, I would need to know a bit mote about your situation, but I think you may be able to treat your OCD without meds. OCD, and people with OCD do respond to their Obsessions for 3 reasons. 1. Because they believe their actions will affect the world in some way and protect what they care about. 2. Because of the neural pathways which have been built up by repeating their Compulsive actions 3. Because it is the way that they have lived their life for a long time and don’t know any other way to act. I have gotten past the first part through years of psychological work, and now have what is called ‘insight’. This means that I do not believe in the power of the Compulsions and know that doing them will have no effect on the world beyond my own immediate actions. This is kind of like believing in a religion, and moving in from it. Now I am working on the 2nd and 3rd parts. The reason that this is so difficult for me is that I have been doing things by and living according to these Compulsions since I was 9 years old. I am 24 now, meaning the pathways of my Compulsive actions are 15 years strong. For you Scorpio, because you are younger, these pathways will not be so strong and difficult to go against. What I would need to know, and what you need to decide is: Do you have Insight, and are you ready to understand that your Compulsions have no affect and move forward from responding to them for good? As for yourself Applejaks, this information might be helpful, or you may be a bit more into it like I am

Scorpio. I always find it hard to learn that someone is going through a difficult and painful situation, and I felt the same way when I learned a bit more about you through your comment. I hope that you are safe, and at least content with your new home and caretakers. Something like OCD is so difficult to experience, and you need all the help from others to get through it. On the inverse, OCD is an anxiety disorder and seems to flare up when you are put in those kinds of situations, good job on getting through it and here’s to hoping you don’t have to experience many more :) For me, my parents, especially my mother, have been the absolute rock for me to anchor myself. I am so sorry that you haven’t had the same thing. Hopefully you have a lot of support from others though, and it does seem like you do with your Grandparents and psychologists. Finding a good psychologist is so important for treating an illness like OCD, so good luck with your new psyche.

Oh and one more thing guys. Here’s a link to a good and succinct explanation of trying to treat OCD without medication. https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/think-well/201406/how-beat-ocd-without-drugs-its-simple-not-easy%3famp You may want to use it if you decide to go down that (watery?) road, to explain to the people helping you, or to understand the situation better yourself.

Hey Scorpio. I was on close to this level of mg of SSRI’s, as well as Antipsychotics around about a year ago. I felt a similar kind of thing and and working a lot now to not go through that experience again. Feel free to ask me any questions if you think it could help.

You too Scorpio, and Applejaks, as well as anyone else who might be reading this. Fortunately I do not really feel like I don’t deserve those things. But then again we all do, so I’m not special for that. I appreciate the kind words and will keep on moving forward through this storm. It sounds like you are at the bit before that, so all I’ll say is try and do what you can to prepare for your own journey the best that you can to make it as smooth as possible. Good luck, and keep moving forward.

Thank you for all your advice!

thank you so much for sharing. what helped you get your emotions back? i cant even cry, feel joy, or anything anymore

Disclaimer: I wrote a reply a while ago, and accidentally lost it. This message is a bit more haphazardly done as a result.

I will just add: Based on discussions with my doctors, I think I was put on the wrong meds. I would be absolutely willing to try them now, but no one has been able to give me confidence that I won’t have a similar experience to what I did, and that it would take a lot of trial and error to get it right for me. I have already lost about 2 years to treating this illness and can’t afford to lose a similar amount of time at my age and at this stage in my life and career.

Reading through your reply Applejaks, I am experiencing a similar thing. As I have gone of the meds, the intensity of the feeling of my Anxieth has come back very strong, basically to what it was before I went on the meds. The difference for me, is that my other emotions have come back in full as well. I feel like myself again, and while the moments when my OCD is strong are, frankly horrible and very difficult to get through, I really do feel good about my life when I am able to experience it

*Anxiety

Thanks for your thoughtful response! I'm hoping that eventually (likely when I'm off the medication), the good emotions will return. I'm the same age as you, so my neural pathways are also very carved in. It's incredibly challenging to change these pathways, but I know it's the best shot I have at overcoming the hold OCD has on my life in the longterm. I started working with a therapist who specializes in OCD in April, so I'm in the beginning stages of recovery.

holy carp thank you for that response. i’m going to be working with an ocd specialist soon along with my normal therapist. this year my mother was arrested multiple times due to excessive drinking and abusing my family. i now live with my grandparents. when this was happening i was also at the worst part of my ocd. i recently went to 100 mg of sertraline and i’m not sure what to do about my emotions

thank you so much stuart i hope your recovery journey is smooth sailing❤️ you’re a very caring person who deserves contentment and happiness

thank you so much