Feeling Down :(

I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?

Last night I was staying at my boyfriend’s house and couldn’t sleep. I felt like i desperately needed to go back to my parents and clean and organize my room. This has happened a few times before when I was staying at his place. Since then he’s been very upset with me. Does anyone else’s partner do this? Any advice? It’s been hard. He’s made me feel so shameful for having OCD. As if it’s not tough enough /:

Hey everyone so I am having a really terrible bout of anxiety due to an exam I have tomorrow. It has sent me spiraling. And unfortunately my ROCD/anxiety has gotten ridiculously triggered. So I had a birthday party this past weekend. I got all dressed up and put on some cute makeup. It was a lot of fun. I then posted some pics from the party, some of them included him. They were cute! I had never posted him in anything in my feed. So I was a little nervy. I was hoping he would comment something on the post or repost or something, but he just dropped a like. I feel like he usually comments on posts that he is tagged in, so for some reason this really hurt me that he didn’t comment or interact more with it. Like he doesn’t like I posted it? Or is he ashamed of me? I don’t want to be shallow, but some validation on social media would be nice? Or maybe him just posting me would feel nice. I want to talk to him about this, but I am so terrified that this will make me seem so shallow and a fein for public validation. I’m worried he thinks this of me, as I have posted on social media. I’m worried this makes him like me less. Someone please provide some expertise on how it would be best to handle these circumstances, as silly and minescule as they may seem. I’ve read a lot online (I know it’s not good) about how to handle relationships online. I know it’s more important obviously how the relationship appears offline. But I’ve been pretty obsessive about this and have a hard time letting it go. Part of me wished I never posted anything. All of this anxiety could have been avoided.