Relationship OCD

I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?

Username: Jenny KJenny K

Date posted: 11d ago

I get this too! Have you ever looked into symptoms of PMDD?

Username: Kas_CKas_C

Date posted: 11d ago

@Jenny K No I haven’t really heard of it but will definitely be looking into it now.

Username: WedeservehappinessWedeservehap...

Date posted: 10d ago

I manage relationship ocd and PMDD. I was resistant to meds and ocd therapy for a long time. I finally ‘gave in’ and I’m seeing huge changes -improvements in how I feel and think. I feel happy. I realize I am allowed to feel happy and don’t need to put up walls and create storylines to protect myself constantly. It will always be a journey there is a sense of peace that I haven’t felt in a long time, maybe ever in teenage/adulthood? It took me a very long time to realize/accept I had ocd but I am so grateful for this community because it helped me realize I did and I’m not alone!

Username: Billie Ray is the dogBillie Ray i...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10d ago

I struggled with this a lot when I was in a relationship, too. My best advice is, try to live with uncertainty. Accept that you don't know the answers to a lot of things, and that you don't have to. I know this is very hard, but the better you get at embracing uncertainty, the more enjoyable your relationship (and other areas of your life) will become. Also, I struggled a lot with increased anxiety and OCD symptoms around my period before starting continuous cycling. It's a form of birth control where you don't get periods and so you get to miss that hormonal rollercoaster. (I tried other birth control pills too, but never continuos before that.) For me, since taking continuous cycling pills, I've noticed a huge improvement in terms of my hormonal OCD and anxiety spikes. I think it's definitely something you could look into if you're tired of these massive spikes.

Username: OCD Helping HandOCD Helping ...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7d ago

It's all about uncertainty. Other folks have said it here already, but it's key to reinforce it. We can't know with 100% certainty that any relationship is perfect or going to last. All of that said, I had a similar situation when I started my current relationship. I also had trouble completely trusting my partner at the onset. Ultimately, I did several things that helped: I learned to set aside past traumas in relationships and believe that I am deserving of love; I reminded myself that this is a DIFFERENT relationship from any I had in the past; I accepted and trusted the love my partner was giving to me; and I promised myself that whatever is meant to be will be... I still have to remind myself of this stuff, and I still have to remember that nothing is ever guaranteed or certain -- even the strongest love in the world. But I'm happy to say my partner and I have been going strong since September of 2023 and if someone like me can do it, so can you!

Username: Iamtheonewho...

Date posted: 1y ago

Relationship ocd

I think that’s what it is .. I’ve been through a lot with relationships .. I’ve never had good luck with them .. after taking two years off of dating and not wanting to date except hook up or have fun i meet a woman who wanted the same ..well we happened to like eachother alot and get into a relationship.. she ends up being amazing and super supportive of my and mental issues. One moment I’m secure and confident and then the next after three months together start my normal ocd process of questioning if I wanna be here if she’s the one if I love her or if there’s someone else .. it’s really annoying even though I know I really don’t wanna leave but I still obsess about it.. we’ll now I’m in the headspace of doubting she loves me or maybe she’s tired of me already even though nothing different has changed .. I don’t want reassurance and to nag about if she loves me .. when I thought about this stuff a couple weeks ago I asked and she told me flat out she loves and cares about me and thinks I’m amazing .. that thought of wondering if she loves me then turned around again to me thinking what if I don’t love her or wanna be here ? Lmfao is that relationship ocd or am I just really damaged .

Username: hilovely

Date posted: 48w ago

Newbie to OCD

hi so i am pretty new to discovering ocd and trying to figure out why i am feeling the way i am feeling. i’ve never been diagnosed with ocd and honestly thought my anxiety was just super bad until it started affecting the way i saw my relationship. i’ve never had this bad of anxiety in my relationship and around november of last year is whenever i started noticing the cycle of repeated thoughts of “should i break up with him?” ive been with my boyfriend for almost two years. yes we’ve been through our ups and downs and our relationship has overall been such a beautiful relationship (super healthy compared to old ones) we love each other deeply and communicate and just overall find ways to help improve our relationship healthier and i’ve had a doubt here and there throughout these years but since last November i started feeling disconnected with him a little. i started to question sometimes if i really loved him. other times i told myself and asked myself if i should break up with him. if we really loved each other. i started focusing on his features a lot more. to the point where these thoughts around him made me feel so extremely uncomfortable. i’ve done all my research trying to figure out if I love him or not and trying to find reassurance and other people stories to see if they feel the same way I would also see how I feel whenever I was around him and it got to a point where I overall just felt very disconnected with him and a lot of different forms. I sometimes will forget about these thoughts and I will go out through my week throughout my days and I won’t even think about them and then something good will happen actually and it will trigger that immediate thought or sometimes we’re not even doing anything we’re just hanging out and being together and that will trigger the thought of wanting to break up with him and it makes me extremely uncomfortable and it makes me panic gives me anxiety and it just stresses me out because I know it’s not true, but my brain has tried to fully convince myself it is. I was doing really good and I figured out how healthy I wanted this relationship to be recently and because we’ve been so stressed on talking about our relationship and moving on even further and growing together, it started coming back and now I’m very very anxious again. I also have this type of anxiety of obsessing over things such as my health. When it comes to my gut health to my skin I have a very bad habit of having perfectionism not only within, my body face and everything around what is myself. I have a lot of anxieties, and I always thought it was just very severe anxiety until when I was researching why I was doubting my love for my boyfriend I heard of ROCD and I was super curious to know if I even have OCD, I brought it up with my psychiatrist and she doesn’t think that I have any. I have so much anxiety over this I feel like it’s physically and mentally controlling my body from how much it’s overwhelming me. I don’t know what to do. I keep convincing myself it’s not even RCOD and maybe I truly don’t love him but I have no other proof or feelings that that could be true. It’s just a thought that circles in my head and no matter how many reassurance I give myself it will come back within an hour, if someone could please give some advice I will have my own therapy session here soon and I’m very excited to know how I can overcome this

Username: 12sopapia

Date posted: 48w ago

Relationship ocd

In my past relationship that lasted for years, I so many obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that I listened to like “you don’t really love him. You’re just pretending”. I told him when I would have these thoughts and I could tell that this was not helping our relationship when I would tell him, but the compulsions felt better when I did it. We eventually broke up, and even though he swore it was not because of my ocd, I can’t help but think that I scared him. Flash forward two years and I’ve met this other man. I am worried that my intrusive thoughts about relationship worries will get the best of me and I will end things before they even get good. I think I am more prepared for this time but I’m still worried. I wish I could just stay in the moment and not catastrophic everything.

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